shama_persson shama_persson

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Shama Persson  Inventor and mom of four amazing children including @yoga_girl, two dogs @cuddlingsworld and mormor to Lea Luna! πŸ’—Spirituality demands sobriety!πŸ’—

Guess who is the guest at @yoga_girl podcast today? Mom! Mormor! Me!πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—
Link in bio, I feel it came out lovely. Thank you daughter for your love and trust in me. Happy for reviews and comments.βœ¨πŸ’βœ¨
#yogagirlpodcast #fromtheheart #daughter #love

Some of you ask me about anxiety and addiction. You ask me how to handle anxiety without numbing it out.
Well. It goes like this.
When I am at peace I am so good on advising people what to do. I know exactly how to handle pain and anxiety and in my imagination all is doable.
Am I at peace now? Absolutely not!
Can I sit with pain?
Absolutely not!
Tonight I've been zapping all the apps on my phone, I've looked at apartments, googled documentaries, watched half a documentary, made pancakes for dinner, been to an AA meeting, unclogged the pipes from the bathtub and checked my email 67 times.
There's a hole inside of me and I can almost measure it. It has the size of a 1.73 cm tall woman and a 58 cm tall baby girl. The hole is actually bigger than me so I'm a walking hole right now. To try to fill this hole with pancakes and email is pretty silly and still, this is what anxiety does to me. To just sit in this hole and look into the wall like a psycho is impossible.
So what would a good option be I ask myself? The anxious me is asking the serene version of me right now, what is a good option right now?
Honestly I don't know as this version of me is much less wise and much more fidgety. But I did two good things. I sent a text to my daughter telling how much I miss them and that I try to fill the space inside with silliness. And then I wrote this post putting it down in words, this is how I walk the talk. And it actually helps. Being honest with myself saying out loud that here right now the addict in me is taking over. Right now my addictive nature wants me to do drugs, any drug possible, like unclogging pipes...! Just do it, fill the hole!!!
Baby girls. I miss you and there's a hole in me bigger than me and it's silhouette looks just like this. And I know that it's only feelings and that feelings pass and that this feeling inside is as big as my love for you. And I know that right now I have an opportunity to sit with it and to heal something even if I don't know what I'm healing. If it hurts it heals and love hurts, that's for sure.πŸ’—#sitwithpain #orunclogsomething #healing #babygirls

The first I see when I touchdown in Stockholm.
Two months of longing has begun. πŸ’—πŸ’πŸ’—
#family #daughter #grandchild #heartache

Never judge a book by its cover!
I would never have bought this book from looking at it, too many messages on one single cover to attract me. And, what do you know?
I've consumed it like candy! 🍭 @manfromthestars we are connected now, vibrating at the same level and I can't wait to meet you in person!
If you want a fast track book to awakening buy this one. If it's right for you you'll read it, if not, pass it on to someone. "Embrace all challenges and obstacles by accepting your life lessons as learning opportunities for personal and soul growth. Keep in mind when we fail or try to run from any life lesson, it only prolongs the inevitable and that same lesson comes back tenfold, disguised with new faces and places to fool you. You must accept the fact that there is no escaping a lie lesson. None! So learn now, learn fast, and move on!"
#elevation #yourvibeattractsyoutribe #universallaws #awakening

Moster Maia and little Luna, dream team!πŸ’—πŸ’—
#auntiemaiaisthebest #happybabypose

Every dad deserves their own happy birthday driftwood signs, especially @dennisfromsalad !πŸ’

How are we going to be able to separate? πŸ’—
#lealuna #foreverinmyheart #swedencalling

@loving.lealuna is a happy baby with a happy mormor!😍
#babyktan #slingbaby #howdoyouevensaythatword #babyktan

The healing powers of the ocean.
I almost drowned twice as a kid, being pulled out and down by the ocean. My mom saved me twice. Those who know me well know that swimming and diving is not my thing. But the ocean is.🐳 I've always been drawn to it, in Sweden, Costa Rica, Spain, Aruba, the ocean is always calling me. My dream is to live so I can dip my feet whenever I want and I want a house overlooking the sea. There is something about the ocean that pulls me and it almost took me as a kid. I know it's powers and I know my weak sides and I feel so much gratitude and respect, almost as a father to me. Sand under my feet, small steps, I'm still closing the gap between me and the sea to this day. And still I can't stay away. When my dream will come true maybe the ocean and I have made enough peace with each other to let me swim without fear. To rest in the water, weightless, feeling completely safe. Until then I'll meet you every now and then with my eyes and tiny dips. A small step for most people and big steps for me. Learning love and trust in nature one sandy step at a time.
#oceanlove #nextlifeillbeafish

Happiness is always a daughter!
Yesterday Hedda flew in and surprised me, they hid it so well I had no clue! And yes, I began to cry hysterically, of course! Sometimes the longing hits me when I see them like boom πŸ’₯ in my belly! Only @ludvig_brathen missing and my universe would be complete. ✨
Happiness overdose daughter overdose no there can never be too many of them, never, there's always room for more of this kind!βœ¨πŸ’πŸ£βœ¨πŸ¦„βœ¨β€οΈβœ¨πŸš€
#family #daughters #threeoutoffour

Today I had a panic attack. I was carrying Lunis for 1.5 hours being a human sling, arms crossed behind her back holding her little hands. And then I let go of her hand and it fell down the side, heavy and absolutely without any muscle control. I took it back in my hand and let ot go again and I'm not joking, her arm totally lacked life. And I panicked! She's not breathing Dennis and I poked her once and still no motion and I poked her again and she moved! And I began to cry and got goosebumps all over my body and felt fuck can you feel this when it's not your own baby??? Does mormorhood mean having this what if something happens to her feeling included??? I thought it was all cuddly happy soft loving pink clouds all the time??? Is worrying part of this deal too? My God, what did I sign up for?
One easy way to solve the problem is to never let her sleep that deep again. Just poke her every now and then. Easy. Until now I thought my job was to make her sleep well, now I'm in great doubt. Jesus Christ no one said anything about this!😳
Right now she's grumpy and making sounds so all is well. Good girl, keep that voice up so I can hear you!
Ok, it's just mormor going through a phase. "YOU scared the shit out of yourself today Rachel says, Luna did nothing!" And she's right, I just wasn't prepared for this, that it was even possible. So now it's official, one more tiny human being included in my forever what if web. I know the urgency of that feeling fades away but still now, one hour later I'm shaken. Lea Luna. Grandchild. Daughter of a daughter. Mormor is officially caught in your net. πŸ πŸŸπŸŒ™πŸ¬πŸ³
#breathe #breathe #breathe

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