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Alaina  22 β€’ Michigan Mental Health Awareness Body Positivity β€’ Self Love β€’ ED Recovery Isaiah 41:10 πŸ’ŒAlaina.selfloveandstrength@gmail.com


What's better than a chocolate chip cookie?
A chocolate chip cupcake topped with a chocolate chip cookie πŸͺ
Today I went to a bridal shower and I ate food with everyone. I stood up, made a plate, sat down, and ate it. All while talking and laughing and just focusing on the people around me.
At the end, they had gourmet cupcakes to take home.
I chose this one because...duh.
I ate it.
It was delicious.
I will now move on with my day.
The end.

Our bodies change depending on how our arms are laying, where are feet are landing, and how our torsos are twisted.
When we inhale, we expand and inflate.
When we exhale, we become flatter and deflate.
In the morning, you're empty and by the end of the day you're full.
We pose for pictures and we doll ourselves up for events.
Do those times make us any more worthy?
Same person. Same dress. Same heart. Same mind.
Since 7th grade, I remember constantly sucking in my stomach after I overheard another girl say that if you suck in all the time then your body will start to stay that way and you will have a flatter tummy.
I didn't allow myself to relax and just be.
Pictures can be deceiving and even mirrors can be deceiving.
Your body is good all the time.

Isn't it funny how I used to be scared to try on swimsuits and now I love it?
I seriously look forward to putting shorts or a swimsuit on all the time now. Whether I'm just trying one on or going outside to tan.
I used to hate my legs, specifically my thighs, and now I love them.
I have stretch marks, cellulite, and dark inner thighs.
I do not have perfect legs.
But they are my legs.
I'm not a size 2 anymore.
I don't need to be.
I'm done tearing my body apart because I think it's going to make me "feel better about myself".
This is my body. My temple. My home.
Be proud of the skin you live in.
On a side note, I've been distant because I've been sick. Not like sick sick but I have stuff going on and they're trying to figure out what's wrong. I'm low key freaking out because when I don't know what's wrong I think of the worst possible thing. Hopefully I get answers soon though! Send prayers and good vibes ☺

S'mores are one of my favorite Summer foods, especially when you add peanut butter to the graham cracker or you a Reese's cup instead fo chocolate 😏 #tipsbyalaina
The last couple Summers I either have not eaten them at all or I would only eat them if I could fit everything in my macros.
This year I have eaten them on multiple occasions already, free of cares or numbers.
I'll admit, it's a mental battle at first. Literally an argument in my head between wanting to eat one but the disordered part telling me "I don't need it".
Girl, don't tell me what I need or don't need.
I will eat what I want to eat.
Stop denying the foods that make you happy.
Like s'mores with peanut butter.
What's your favorite Summer food?!

Self care is so incredibly important.
It can be easy to get down on yourself and it's harder to build yourself back up.
I've been extremely excited to get back into lifting because I'm back at my old gym (yay!) but I've also been dealing with health issues that aren't allowing me to go to the gym that often, aka basically once a week.
Today I was feeling good and was planning on going to the gym after work but around 2pm I suddenly felt incredibly fatigued, weak, and dizzy.
I decided in that moment that I needed to take care of myself and going to the gym would not be a smart decision.
Instead, I came home and ate dinner, rubbed a charcoal face mask on my face, watched Vampire Diaries, and munched on some popcorn and chocolate.
Doing this is not easy for me.
I feel "lazy" and it's hard to sit still and do nothing.
It's okay.
Your body needs rest whether it's a day, a week, or 6 months.
Listen to yourself.
Respect your health.
You're allowed to do nothing.

Swipe to see what it looks like when I breathe (aka when I'm relaxed)
😀 me after posing.
I'm so incredibly thankful for the progress I have made both mentally and physically.
To be able to look at both of these photos and love myself equally. To see my tummy and think "that's adorable". To not instantly delete a "not so perfect" photo out of embarrassment.
I hope that you can look at those parts of your body that you may not be happy with and think "that's cute!" because YES IT IS.
I pray that you're able to wear that outfit that you've been eyeing in your closet that you haven't worn because you fear what others may think.
I know that you will ROCK that outfit.
Before this Summer, I didn't look forward to the warm weather because I thought I had to hide in sweatpants and hoodies (that's perfectly okay!) but I was doing it because I feared shorts and bathing suit tops.
Wear what you want to wear.
My body is good enough right now, tomorrow, and one year from now.
So is yours.
You are πŸ”₯
Own it.

I don't label food as good or bad.
I don't tell myself I cannot eat something because it's "unhealthy".
If I want a salad, I eat a salad.
If I want a burger and fries, I eat that burger and fries.
I listen to my body.
I eat what I want and when I want.
Typically, that means nutrient dense foods like vegetables, fruits, oats, potatoes, squash, and greens because my body craves those foods but that also means ice cream, cookies, French fries, and nachos.
πŸ‘Œ balance. πŸ‘Œ
Was it easy to get to where I am?
Absolutely not.
During my ED, I either would l heavily restrict or I would binge/purge.
I didn't know what "normal eating" was and I certainly never thought I would be able to eat intuitively.
I remember the days where I would eat throughout the day and be so proud but spiral into a sudden binge right before bedtime.
I thought I'd be stuck in the cycle for the rest of my life.
Guess what? I haven't binged in over 6 months.
It a friend suggests ice cream even though it was "unplanned" for the day, I get ice cream (if I want it, of course).
It is fully possible.
Also, ice cream is delicious.

2014 to 2017.
Mental gains.
Weight gain.
Life gains.
And maybe some booty gains, tbh.
Before recovery all I wanted to do was lose weight, no matter what I had to do. My only focus was lowering the number on the scale. I had no future plan. No cares.
After recovery, my goal is to continue making my happiness a priority, plan a wedding, work my butt off, make life goals, dream of my future family (baby fever is real), focus on my faith, and much more. I am so thankful for the life I'm living now. ✨
Recovery is so much more than gaining weight. Sure, that's part of it for some people but the life you gain as well is incredible.
You're allowed to make your health and happiness a priority.
#transformationtuesday #recoveryisworthit

Earlier today a young girl DM'd me and asked what type of leg exercises I do to get small legs, if I go to the gym, and how much I weigh.
While these seem like innocent questions, they made me extremely uncomfortable and I didn't know how to reply without sounding rude.
These legs are how I was made. I don't know how else to say it. This is just how my body is.
I do not weigh myself. I don't try to do certain exercises to shrink specific areas of my body.
I just look like this.
This is my body.
I remember asking people the same questions or looking at girls and wondering what they did to look the way they do.
Embrace you. Embrace the body you have. The legs, the stomach, the arms, the face. You were created this way for a reason.
You're not here to be like anyone else.

I feel like everything @eatenlightened does is done well. πŸ™Œ
As I (im)patiently wait for their ice cream pints to be sold in stores near me, I can at least sit here and enjoy these Rice Krispie treats!
Disclaimer: I can enjoy any Rice Krispie treats and regular ones are not bad or off limits. These was are more fun because they're flavored and yes, the extra protein is cool too.
There is Original, Apple Cinnamon, Double Chocolate, and Birthday Cake.
So far, I've tried the Birthday Cake flavor and it's delicious. I do wish it were a bit sweeter but that's only because I have the biggest sweet tooth EVER. Still insanely delicious and they're so big and perfect! I'm excited to try the others!
They're available at @gnclivewell so go get 'em!

I hope you all aren't sick of my ice cream cone pictures because I'm not sick of eating it yet.
Summer 2017 AKA Summer of freedom.
Freedom from food guilt and freedom from negativity.
Who is celebrating this Summer?!

My whole life I have been too scared to wear shorts because I thought my thighs were too big.
Seriously, 12 year old Alaina wouldn't even wear them when it was 100 degrees out.
Last summer I started wearing them at home more.
This summer I've started wearing them in public more πŸ™Œ
Today, I went to Forever 21 to kill some time and tried on these spandex gym shorts. Honestly, I was super nervous at first and then I put them on and was SO HAPPY WITH HOW THEY LOOKED.
I literally danced in the dressing room.
Be kind to yourself.
Fill yourself with love and kindness.
Wear shorts if you want to.
Stop caring about what other people think.
Don't allow yourself to fear a piece of clothing.
Inspired by the incredible @jenbretty to try these on πŸ’•

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