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seguratom seguratom

1672 posts   323123 followers   579 followings

Tom Segura  Comedian


Come get sum of this Jambalaya. We added a Third Show in New Orleans. Sept 29 link in my bio πŸ‘†

Dudes with beards be knowing me.

I hope everyone's Valentines Day is full of love and joy! Remember, there's someone for everyone! #valentinesday
Repost @showtimetharaptor

What the fuck is happening? 😩😩😩 By the way if you want to support black people in film, any time is a good time to buy tickets to see them in any film. πŸ‘

A new episode of #YourMomsHouse is up now. #WildTits

I'm coming to West Palm Beach. Tickets on sale at TomSegura.com/tour or try using the link in my bio πŸ‘†

Hahahahahaha πŸ’€πŸ’€πŸ’€ #Repost @sobtvnetwork
No Chill at all !

Bro. Yes.

I'm coming to Brea in August. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets or use link in bio πŸ‘†

I mean, they could have tagged me?

#Repost @9gag
Tell that motherf*cker I appreciate him.
Follow @9gag

I just heard JΓ³hann JΓ³hannsson has died at 48! Amazing composer. When I saw Sicario in theaters I was in love with the film, but above all else the score blew me away! I immediately bought it and listened to it over and over. Incredible when music can move you the way some film scores can. I was telling everyone about it. "Go buy the soundtrack to Sicario and then listen to it as you do your daily errands. It makes grocery shopping feel like you're robbing a bank."
Incredible talent. He also composed Arrival and The Theory of Everything among others.
#Rip #johannjohannsson


Look at this cute little fat ass baby. Pants all high on him like a 65 year old man.

I'm coming to Spokane in may. TomSegura.com/tour for tickets

I'm not gonna lie - I'm interested and definitely going to inquire. What do you think @garyowencomedy ? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Foreign Accent Syndrome. #DISGRACEFUL #Netflix 😭😭😭😭😭

I co-sign on @marcmaron's assessment of people who engage in kinky/fetish play.

"I'm Blake. I work for Tom." PS - these people don't have my phone number. It's just an app to read emails on.

I'm dumb. What I originally posted as a Ultra Boost was a Pure boost which i have since corrected. @adidasoriginals @adidas also sent me an Ultra boost and a shell toe. Those that told me were right. The ultras are heaven πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ #3StripeLife

Also, Fuck Nike.

The great @marcmaron joined us this week and he was amaze.

I talked cars and comedy with Spike and Zuckerman! Great time. Check out Spike's Car Radio.
#Repost @spikeferesten
Comedian Tom Segura joins Spike in studio to talk about his new Netflix special "Disgraceful", his infamous Lamborghini story and the hilarity of foreign accent syndrome. Also listener questions answered and a β€œreview” of Zuckerman's new BMW 1M. http://bit.ly/2nG56UY #podcast #podcastone #applepodcasts #scr

Go get that new #YourMomsHouse with @marcmaron right now.

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