savvy_rose savvy_rose

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Savannah Rose ๐ŸŒน  ๐ŸŒธ Psychology student at CSU ๐Ÿ’Œ Snapchat: @Savvy_rose ๐ŸŒน You are more powerful than you even know

Posting a sweaty workout photo from last week as Iโ€™m eating a burger and cheese-y fries now ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‹

Grateful

Maddie said these look like an ad for a hair salon so I want to take the time to thank @mermadihair for taking care of my hair! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’— I used to be so afraid of getting haircuts after my freshman year of college when I decided to get bangs (which I did love) and then decided to do a long bob which was SO, SO bad ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ (Also this sounds like an ad but I swear itโ€™s not ๐Ÿ˜‚)

๐Ÿ’›

Havenโ€™t seen a single red head since Iโ€™ve been in Texas ๐Ÿ‘€

One of my favorite people in the whole world. Maybe one of my soul mates ๐Ÿ‘ญ Happy Birthday @paula307 I love you ๐Ÿ’—โœจ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’˜

This trip has filled my heart with more love than I even knew was possible ๐Ÿ’›

Took a last minute trip to a tiny town in Michigan to meet my Grandma for the first time! Such an overwhelming, happy, and sad experience. Spending the day with my beautiful mom and new found Aunty on Mackinac Island then meeting more family tomorrow ๐Ÿ’™

I find so much solace, clarity, energy, and happiness in the gym. ๐Ÿ’™

This post & this caption are for me. Unedited thoughts. A public journal entry basically. I feel relief (for lack of a better word) in sharing the vulnerable and not always happy parts of my life. Even if itโ€™s to a social media audience. Maybe if someone is dealing with any of the same feelings or experiences as I am, I can be here to help them thru it or to lend an ear. And even if thatโ€™s not the case, just typing this out has already helped me come out of my panic attack. โ€ข
โ€ข I have so many thoughts racing through my head constantly. Even more so the last couple weeks. Iโ€™m not going to school this semester, Iโ€™m not 100% sure what Iโ€™m doing. Iโ€™m not sure if Iโ€™m living the best version of my life I can live. Iโ€™ve been questioning so many things and having so many thoughts for only a split second. For someone whoโ€™s so good at helping others sit with and understand their emotions, I suck at doing it myself. From experiencing so much negative at such a young age and for such a long time, my brain instinctively helps me not dwell on my emotions as a defense mechanism. For those that donโ€™t know, my dad took his own life in 2013. I still have two voicemail messages saved on my phone from him from that year. Something made me feel the need to listen to them tonight. I canโ€™t sleep, I canโ€™t stop crying. And Iโ€™m sitting with this flood of emotions. This sadness for missing my dad, this hurt for him leaving, this uncertainty that Iโ€™m being my authentic self and living my life with the right people, places, experiences, focus, etc. I feel lost and anxious and such an intense sadness. But I know everything happens for a reason. I know I need everythingโ€™s thatโ€™s happened and will happen in order to find my authentic self. To live a fulfilled, loving, happy life.

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