satirical_md satirical_md

21 posts   577 followers   562 followings

Dr. Diesel  Emergency Medicine Doctor. Keeping it 💯💯💯.

Does anybody else think about all the hand-washing metrics and the hundreds of sanitizing stations we have only to realize that the 0.01% of pseudomonas or acinetobacter have an open field to reproduce like rabbits and spread terrible illness? So let’s STOP washing our hands at work. Why are we OK with gut flora but not ok with hand flora?! I read this on a ‘naturalist’s website so I know it’s real. Their degree was earned online and in 2.5 long weeks. Try and change my mind. #instadaily #medicine #residency #residencylife #doctor #premed #medschool #nurselife #nurse #paschool #EMnation #satirical_MD

DEMAND ischemia!!! No matter how high a troponin, how sweaty the patient is, how high their ST elevations are - rest assured it is just ‘demand’. Why yes, it is demand - Your coronary arteries demanding to be reperfused before the heart dies. #cardsconsult #STEMI #medicine #emergencymedicine #hospital #doctor #medstudent #satirical_MD

We have finally gotten to over 500 followers!!! As a huge thank you, I will be doing my first giveaway! All you have to do is tag a friend and use the hashtag #satiricalMD and you’ll be automatically entered to win 1. Expired crest white strips, 2. Airline earbuds, or 3. A comprehensive first aid kit. The giveaway will run through 1/1/18 so be sure to tag your friends! #instagood #instagram #instadaily #medschool #medicalschool #medstudent #doctor #md #residency #nurse #rn #rns #paschool #premed #emergencymedicine #EMnation #satiricalMD

Fad diets. They’re everywhere around the holidays. Go gluten free! Go vegan! Low carb! Low fat high protein! Just eat ice cubes and drink water for two meals a day! I don’t care what they say - the only proven weight loss method is working at a pediatric center during the winter. Once you see this kiddo’s expression from across the hall, you know no matter how much hand sanitizer you bathe in, gloves and masks you use - you’re getting gastroenteritis. You’ll shoot out vomit and diarrhea like the Las Vegas Bellagio fountain show. We truly are blessed to do what we do. Anything for the kids. #pediatrics #childrenshealth #medicine #medschool #premed #paschool #nurse #doctor #md #nursingschool #nurselife #rns #rn #residency #emergencyroom #emergencymedicine #EMnation #satirical_MD

Pharmaceutical sponsored dinners. The best way to stay current on our education after the decades of school are over. What is most shocking is how knowledgeable and unattractive the drug reps are. Like how did she even fit that apple bottom in those pants?! The evening was full of learning points and ways we could improve patient care, including salad/cheesecake/aged steak/wine. We sacrifice a lot to become doctors but it’s just part of the calling. #doctor #physician #medicaldoctor #MD #emergencyroom #emergencymedicine #criticalcare #nurse #nurselife #rn #rns #paschool #physicianassistant #medschool #satirical_MD

Rounds. The most efficient and enriching part of inpatient medicine. Often times, I pack breakfast and lunch since I know it'll be about 6 hours before rounds are halfway over. Nothing is more entertaining than the attending telling us about how times were when they were in school in the 1960s. The unfortunate part of medical school is we have so much patient interaction, aka time wasted, when we could instead just spend all 12 hours sitting in a circle talking about how the patient might have hypothetical Crigler-Najjar syndrome and how we can test for it. #medicine #medschool #medicaldoctor #medicalstudent #premed #residency #residencylife #icu #nurse #nursing #nursingschool #paschool #attending #hospital #emergencymedicine #emnation #satiricalMD

Live look in at all our uninsured (and underinsured) patients that can't afford their $5 generic prescriptions. The new iPhone will only cost them $999. Why can't healthcare be like Apple and be worth what we provide? For an extra $500 I can get a watch and a charging mat, too! Yeah I think I'm gonna skip my lasix this month. Thanks anyways, doc! #aniphoneaday #keepsthedoctoraway #apple #wwdc #wwdc2017 #medicine #emergencymedicine #healthcare #iphonex #premed #medschool #nurse #nursing #nurselife #paschool #capitalism #banksy #satiricalMD

Connor, our stellar Med student, features how to shine in your audition rotation. Connor just finished general surgery where he stood in place for 12 hours at a time, holding that retractor against pannus like his life depended on it - just look at those results. Those eight weeks were the most fulfilling of his education. Beware, the US MD match rate is only 96%, so if you don't honor every rotation then good luck with the scramble. #medicine #medschool #medicalschool #medicaldoctor #medicalstudent #emnation #emergencymedicine #rns #nurse #paschool #physicianassistant #premed #premedlife #satiricalMD

The white coat. The symbol of the medical doctor. When you walk through a hospital or clinic, only the doctor has the privilege of wearing such symbolic garment. Chiropractors, nurse practitioners, dietitians, PAs, pharmacists, case managers, medical students, and premedical researchers sit back and admire, wishing they had a white coat of their own to wear. It is a perfect system - one that never confuses the patient as to what member of the healthcare team has which role. My favorite thing to do is to test the Alzheimer's patients memory by seeing if they know which white coat belongs to which healthcare team member. #MD #medicalschool #medicaldoctor #doctor #whitecoat #paschool #physicianassistant #nursingstudent #rn #nursepractitioner #nurselife #medschool #premed #medicalschool #emnation #emergencymedicine #satiricalMD

When I go to the gym, the one thing I make sure to do is go straight from work and tell the single ladies what I do for a living. I even like to leave my white coat on while I do squats for proper form (coat to grass). My stethoscope is my preworkout and usually helps me get those last few reps in. Could I have changed? Maybe. Do I want to? Never. #dating #doctors #douche #medicalschool #doc #MD #medicalstudent #medschool #fitness #fitnessmotivation #nurse #nursing #physicianassistant #rns #fitfam #gym #emnation #zyzz #zyzzbrah #emergencymedicine #satiricalMD

Here is a live look at the new interns across the nation confidently taking our healthcare by storm. This eager beaver is currently thinking "What the fuck is actually in normal saline? We never even learned that. It can't hurt to just give 150...no let's let it ride and make it 250cc of IV fluids to start". Whenever I see a person wearing a long white coat lost in the hospital, I know that deep down they know exactly what they are doing. July is the absolute best time to get sick. #doctor #emnation #emergencymedicine #medicine #medschool #MD #nursingschool #nursing #nurse #paschool #physicianassistant #satiricalMD

It is 2017 but males in medicine still don't get the respect they deserve. I cannot tell you how many times I walk into a hospital room, introduce myself as doctor, take a thorough H&P - only to be asked when the doctor will be in. Being a tall male in today's society is ridiculous. I could have been anything in life - CEO of a company, lead engineer, etc. But instead I chose this field where, on a daily basis, I'm confused as being the secretary, patient transporter, nurse, or a number of other roles. My female colleagues, on the other hand, get all the glory. #womeninmedicine #strongwomen #women #whoruntheworld #medicine #medicalschool #emergencymedicine #emnation #MD #medicaldoctor #medschool #premed #nursing #alwaysaPAneveraP #paschool #doctor #nursingstudent #nursingschool #men #satiricalMD

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