✨SHE DID IT✨ .
Today was a great day for @kairikilling and all the athletes racing at Oteää 70.3 @ironman_estonia 🏊🏼♂️🚴🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️
I have to say, this year (and I mean the fact I was not racing) hit me harder than the backfire from last year.
Just a brief overview - 2017 was a challenging year for me so I dropped out from “the tri-game” a week before my main race, which was the same race that was held today. Maybe some day I’ll take the time and write a blog post about aaaal of the fuzz, but as I was so tired last year, I felt a bit relieved that I got a chance to cheer for others and not race. Of course it wasn’t easy to see everyone competing but my decision not to race last year was driven by the fact that I was not ready - undertrained and exhausted from ... well - life and shit :D
I just wasn’t ready for the challenge last summer and took it more like a relief.
But. This year was different - when the spring hit (and with that all the motivation to “Stop Exercising. Start Training”) I really felt I wanted to compete this coming July (that means today) but I also know myself. It’s “all or nothing” when it comes to races + Sandra and I chose “nothing” because I knew I wouldn’t be able to give my all. It was my own choice and that’s what made it even harder to accept in my head: “You chose NOT to be there - not to race. That’s on you, Sandra.” But what I realized today, was something simple and necessary for me - I just needed a break and someone to remind me that it’s something that’s still very mine. Weather we think we can or can’t - we are correct.
Ok, enough of that - maybe some day I’ll spill my heart out on that matter but at least I know now that DMX was right the whole time: “If you love something - let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
Thank you, Kairi and the support team, for reminding me that tri is something that I love.
I just got a bit lost on the road, let’s see if we can steer back 💗 #swimbikerun