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Apparently it's eating disorder awareness week, so I thought I'd post!
These photos are from a rough time in my personal life. I'm about 5ft tall and weighed 80 pounds at the time. No joke. I learned quite a bit about myself come the following years after this.
I learnt that my stress comes from my stomach, so when I stress out I stop eating. Unfortunately, my stress turned into what you see in the photos above. A total obsession. During that time, I was unable to control the stressful situation I was in, so not eating was a way to cope and control.
I became obsessed with seeing my bones, watching the number on the scale decline, had bruises all over my body from my bones, and I lied to everyone around me. "Yeah! I ate already!" "Don't worry, I just ate ten minutes ago"
(Ps. I was in Italy and Spain for most of these photos and always wearing a sweater in the hottest heat because I was so cold)
If anyone knows the problem with doing this is - binging. The moment I started eating, I binged SO hard I couldn't control myself. For anyone who thinks no food is the best way to lose weight you're correct!!! You will lose weight if you stop eating, however the moment you start eating food you will blow up like a balloon. It mind-f*cks you.
I go to the gym everyday and eat like you wouldn't believe, and the only thing I think about when looking back on these photos is "how could I possibly do this to myself? How could I torture myself?, FOOD IS SO GOOD!"
But unfortunately this happened, I learned from it. I'm glad I removed myself from a shitty situation and snapped out of it.
I realize what I did was really bad, however there are people who have it much worse than I do and not everyone has the support system of friends and family that I had. At the time, I was in denial, and didn't want to hear what anyone else said.
If you want to read more, I posted my first story last year around this time.
Things like this just doesn't happen, you don't wake up one morning and say you're going to stop eating - there's always a root issue.
If you are or know someone going through this... I'm an open book and always happy to talk.