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salazam1 salazam1

454 posts   226 followers   165 followings

Monterrey Salazar 

I saved this from the trash for Devon @mmm.mmm.mmm13 for the next time he comes over because you don't waste food in my fucking kitchen. #betterhurryitsstartingtogetmoldysoon #hedidntevengiveittomydogs #importedmeat #jagdwurst #mydeliciousrolls #whatajerk #imseriousasfuck #youreluckyiputinthefridgeforyou

Glorious pretzels: the savior of humanity, the willpower when you've given up, the fire in your belly, the grit in your gumption. These motherfuckers will drop panties on sight. Trust. #boldclaims #backedupbytruth #strength #honor #courage #withasideofmustard

Apparently there's only one place in all of Southern California to get an authentic German pretzel! #riversidemotherfucker

Hosing catpiss out of free rug and watering the plants at the same time #twobirds #nothinginlifeisfree #homeownershit #gangstershit #rubsomesunshineonyourface

I said it before, for some reason these bitches in my hood love to carry poop around with them. Is it a new self-defense tactic idk about? Are they growing a garden? If she wants I can start saving mine up... #poop #weirdwhiteppl #almostruinedmybreakfast

42 peach blossoms. This baby is gonna need more support than Dolly Parton #southernshit #42 #alreadyplannedthecobbler #countdeeznutzbeforetheyhatch

I got banned from Tinder for this pic. I guess I need to work on my abs some more. #justatip #happyvdday

30 seconds in between flips, perfect opportunity to squeeze in a stretch! #stretchinasqueeze #yogillas #alldayeveryday #mybodyismygym #rehab

laugengebäck, nanerpancakes, lemonpoppy rolls, oj, lemonHIV, strawbsncream, taters, imperialist cawfie #pooped #onceayeariscool #tilligetmeanapprentice #timetosleepforaweek #wheresthemorphinedripwhenineedit

When you're on that petty shit cuz they left you out the family calendar again #FOH #spellmynameright #monterreyjack #ripgrams

Only #foodnerds will understand getting excited about a real mop #fohwiththatswiffershit #beastmode

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