royalteee royalteee

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  i wonder if bloods watch blues clues XXX

m&ms sweet like candy cane

things are not okay and im tired of fooling myself pretending that they are

real people do real things, so what you here for?

give me at least two cigarettes a day. one in the morning, and one before bed at night. the type that's harsh, but not unbearable. not burn-your-throat harsh. it has to be enjoyable. and give me a warm sweater so when i go out to smoke on the front deck i wont get cold. and give me a kiss on the neck and a rub on the hip before you go back inside to let me smoke alone. and watch me secretly from the window, and admire how beautiful i am without even knowing it. call me your babygirl. squeeze my thighs, but not too hard, and hold my hips. rub your hands over my skin, kiss my fingertips, love everything. kiss the beauty mark on my cheek. feel my touch, remember my scent. you know my favourite perfume. remember every detail, every curve, every default, every small speck of originality. remember me. remember me before i go.

it's the way i'm feelin
i just cant deny
i love it when you grip my thigh

she gon eat this molly like it's rice

you watched the last boy
as he kissed me and looked away
i could never see his dull eyes
because they never glanced my way
we chainsmoked in his room
until our lungs were too tired to breathe
until the night made us too tired to think
i went to sleep thinking about
your arms around my waist
instead of his
and you kissing me
instead of him
every dull night i begged
for you to walk into the room
and take my hand
and tell me "it's okay"
i begged to nothing and everything
that you would take me away
i watched the door
while he slept beside me
i waited countless nights
you never came
you were sound asleep
you did not worry about the girl
with the pretty hair and perfect smile
you did not think for one second
that a girl like that could want you
the truth is, i needed you
but you had your own pretty face
and seeing her kiss you
watching you gazing at her
when she was too busy to notice
it destroys me to think
that you still wanted her
you still fought for her
when she let you down
when she made you cry
when she made you want to just burst
she ruined you,
and the thought of her wanting you ruins me
now i kiss your wounds
i kiss your bloody knuckles
because now i cause them
because now you're angry
that you were used
by a childish girl with no ambition
and i bandaid the cuts she made
while you stare at me with those eyes
and realize that everything you want
was always on the other side of the door.
the basement that smelled like vomit
and the boy's sticky bed
were never my home
but your arms in the other room, were
only now you notice,
but it's too late
he already had plenty of time to use me,
and then throw me away.
of course you couldn't save me
but you never left my head
maybe i should stop begging you to stay
and beg you to stop breaking me instead
Wow it helped me so much to write this down

you asked me why
i was doing this to myself,
i said
"sometimes you need to bleed
to feel alive"
but i never thought
that you would shove the blade
deeper into my fucking skin
and make me bleed
and ruin me
worse than i ever could have
ruined myself

darling im a nightmare dressed like a daydream

he calls me babygirl and loves it when i moan his name between grinding teeth while i am unwinded between our bed sheets

i want to be good. and whole. and pure. i want to be warm and resemble radiance. but i cant change, i cant change, i cant change.

And she said "you a god damn lie". I aint mean to say that shit girl i was god damn high. So we left the crib, now we in the god damn ride. She lookin god damn fine. I wanted a bitch who was down to earth, but she want the god damn sky. List of my problems; got this one on my line that wont stop fuking callin, it's crazy i made her that way. Every time i see her out, i see the hate in her face. Like why you do that? Tell her you love her when next week you just want your space. Why you do that? Tell her you want her but next week you do your own thing. Why you do that? I cant explain it but just know it working for me. She text me "i hate you, i hate you, i hate you" but how the fuck can you hate me? When i aint did shit but be the real thing. She know im the real, thatll never change. I never been the one to try to explain. While you catch these feels imma sip on this drank, its easing my brain. I got real shit to stress about, girl i aint worried bout shit. Remember that i tried to build ya, now i aint worried bout shit.
-Prblms by 6lack

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