Hi. Let me tell you about some stuff.
My parents always knew they wanted to retire in the place where both their families had cottages—a handful of hours north of Toronto, on the shores of Georgian Bay.
And that's exactly what they did.
I grew up with that model of marriage: You do the day-to-day together, and you do it with joy, but through it all you're always marching together towards a common goal.
So, given that I'm someone who's never been much for "goals," you can imagine how I faltered in 2013 when I found myself married, (rather unexpectedly, as you may recall) to @matthewjay.
We got married on May 10th, and by approximately July 1st it began:
What's our goal? What's next? Where will we march?? And OH MY GOODNESS, did I ever struggle when we couldn't answer those questions.
I got depressed. I got even more depressed. Occasionally I kicked and I screamed.
I sat on the couch. I sat on the beach:
What's. Our. Goal.
I beat my head against the wall, against our marriage, against life. At my lowest, I wanted to tear it all down. At my LOWEST lowest, I felt existentially bereft.
And five years later? What's our goal?
Guys, I seriously have no clue. But still, somehow we're marching.
Or maybe it's more like meandering....
And our life together grows in its own time, in its own way, in nobody's footsteps. I learned somewhere along the way, maybe it was on the road between North Carolina and Washington, that you can take the core values from a marriage you admire, you can make them your own, but marriage doesn't come with a map, and trying to follow someone else's will just get you lost.
So that brings us to today, to this photo, to being not even a little bit lost (okay maybe a little bit lost), with no real destination in mind, in no real hurry, on a super fun bike ride, in the rain.
Sweet dreams. xo.