I've been trapped in my mind a bit lately. Food has been kinda my go to for self medication for the past 7 months. I went down to 130lbs last year by eating well and exercising roughly 5 days a week doing HIIT and strength training for months. I did this for the Japan trip and I still hated how I looked. I ate all the weight back and I feel like I lack motivation for almost everything, especially exercise even though I can feel my knees are in pain, my slouch returns and my clothes no longer fit therefor creating bouts of mania and severe anxiety at the THOUGHT of needing to leave my PJs and go outside. The thought that all of that hard work is gone. You can't really tell in the photo (like most photos on social media) but holy fuck it's been a struggle and I can't tell what's real or what's in my head. Lately I have gotten a little bit of energy, not sure where from. But I feel like the comic is my unfinished business that is keeping me going. Bottom line is, if you feel this way, know you are not alone. It's not about weight or bad relationships with food, it's about mental instability and the loss of the will to do anything. I'm here to talk if anyone relates, I'm going to fork out some $$$ for counselling soon in hopes it can improve my life and maybe I can help others too. I'll never stop sharing or talking about these things cause it's fucking important and should not be taboo!