Light, clouds, ocean, and stars. And so life begins...
Summer. There are days we pray it never ends.
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She grabbed him by the wrist feeling the muscle and the two bones of his arm. She stood as if she were lucky to be alive. "I watched. Well as much as I could. I had to listen to it all night. Lay awake all night thinking of you, the sound that wouldn’t go away. And worried. They said you wanted to kill yourself. I hoped not." She put the palm of her hand in the air face up and then wiped it away. "But no. No more words now. No explanations." She said. "I love you.”
His tongue muscle down his throat was ready to jump out of his mouth, his jaw about to snap. He grinded his teeth against each other with all his might, as though they would all break. He felt a jolt of consciousness and frantically took three more strokes and kicked his legs as hard as he could. His whole body was ready to break, explode. If this didn’t work, there was nothing left. He was determined that it be that. He took two more strokes and burst through foam into air.
He began to fade, he could not keep a grip on consciousness. He felt lonely, a bit sad. He wasn’t ready to go, that was for sure. He searched for a greater capacity to bear it, to survive. He did not know what in him was keeping his mouth closed against the convulsing of all the muscles of his throat and jaw.
He heard a second wave explode over him. Every tenth of a second became longer as they each seemed to become the last. He lay suspended in the water, his teeth clenched tighter. His mouth was struggling to stay shut, his lungs were starving for oxygen. There was a need of them so deep and urgent it was almost impossible to control. The tingle was spreading throughout his body. I need air, he thought. The second wave struck him.
He felt a strange calm come over him. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Every second under water that deep felt like a hundred, a thousand. Don’t panic, he thought. The waves were stacking up behind him. But he did not know this.
She’d heard the surf in the night and was worried. She was worried about him. She knew what he was up to and was thinking about going to the beachbreak to find him. She was sitting up at the point with her knees clasped between her hands and thinking just how she would tell him. But she was there waiting, not telling him these things, and now she would be waiting.
He was held deep underwater. He expected to come up soon but when he didn't , he thought, you got to be kidding me another wave must be coming soon. He felt panic rising within him, the burning of it deep within. He took a few strokes only to have it push him deeper. And driving deeper still, back to the bottom, he thought, this is unbelievable.
He quickly felt his head strike hard against the water. As he came down with the lip he was driven straight to the bottom as fast and as violently as he had ever had been in his life. He could feel sand under him, the uneven pockets of it, the strange motion of the turbulent water, and the heaviness of it all upon him. Stay calm, don’t worry.
He was gliding through the blue tube, enveloped in the heart of the moving wave as water cascaded over him in a perfect cylinder of cathedral light and size. He felt exalted. He flew through twenty yards of the barrel like this, filling with energy. Then the tapering wall lifted an extremely long section out in front of him. It’s over. I’m going to get crushed, he thought.