reynabiddy reynabiddy

516 posts   119,559 followers   6 followings

  Meh @ aesthetics. A Psalm for Us🕊 available now!

the cat made its way out the bag. tapping in with our hearts. conversations stemmed from love. 💛 what you wanna hear us talk about?

i heard you whisper to the sky once

2 months in. being a mom is by far the most challenging experience of my life and i ain’t even in the thick of it yet 😅. i’m learning a lot about not only my umi but myself too. i often think about the couple of hours leading up to his birth. how i tapped into a place i’d never gone before. i put myself in the shoes of my ancestors. i promised myself, it was possible. if they were capable.. why not me? i learned through that experience that once my mind is set on trying or doing something, i will not allow myself to back out. no fear, no confusion, no doubts, no stress, no nothing else shall prosper. can’t say that’s my best or worst feature but i’m more glad about it than disappointed. for two months i’ve averaged 2.5-4 hours a night. i’ve been so tired i have no appetite. i’ve had both an over and underflow of milk. umi has lost weight rapidly, and gained just as quickly. he was born at 8 lbs then dropped down to 7.2. stayed 7 pounds for the first month of life. immediately after went from 8-12.5 pounds in a matter of 3 weeks. i’ve had doctors discourage me from breastfeeding. said it’d be easier to track and meet his milestones if he went on formula. told me if not, to pump then bottle feed because bottles are more effective. going against my gut for the first time ever, i stopped. i bottle fed. i let them interfere with our bond to where only after two days he no longer wanted my breasts because he liked the other flow better. i let them take tubes of blood from him only to say afterwards that they didn’t test for anything. still don’t even know his blood type. there are so many things that disappoint me about the hospital industry. and sometimes i’m so disappointed in my own self for taking their advice. i’m still mad at myself for allowing them to sabotage my feelings throughout my entire pregnancy. but with time, i’ve had time to reflect and accept that this is my first time. i assumed it’d come natural and i assumed wrong and that’s okay. everyday is a process but i’m learning to love it more. thankful to the help i do have from umi’s dada, my mother, and my amazing midwife who still looks after my family and i even after birth. 💓

this has been an extremely long wknd but before it’s over i really wanna express my happiness for one of my dearest friends @masego. after hearing you speak about your album for the passed two years, watching and listening to the process from up close and a distance, i can assure you your hard work is appreciated and doesn’t go unnoticed. i still get the same feeling, on my 10th listen, that i got on my first one. you did exactly what you said you’d do, and created your own sound. masego 2.0. i’m so inspired watching your growth. and as i’ve told you a million times, i’m super excited to watch this all manifest. for anyone who’s never heard of masego, please give his music a chance. he’s been a monumental force in my career and an amazing friend through and through. *also v important* sego came over on the fourth of july and played his album for mark and i right after my mom cooked us some spicy asian dish, a few hours before i went into labor... they say spice induces labor but i’m willing to bet it was actually black love. 😭 love ya Lady Lady available everywhere now! congrats!

my best friend

maybe i’m just crazy.

Ashé 🦖

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