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Ben Schwartz  Twitter and Snapchat- Rejectedjokes

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Me and my doggo in the Bronx.

Playing Meta Mario.

Two newly secretly signed copies of Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You Fucking Idiot are at @skylightbooks on Vermont in LA. Right. Now. Behind the front counter of the store. Enjoy! More secret signings coming soon.

Happy #nationalmilkday from @jakehurwitz and @amir and me. Here are some outtakes from over 5 years ago.

Jake does a push up during a writing session. @jakehurwitz @amir.

If you didn’t get tix for January. We are only doing one Middleditch and Schwartz show at @largolosangeles in February. On 2/8. Tix just went up. Can’t promise that @tombini won’t try to dab again. Also apparently I don’t know how to post GIFs on Instagram.

As per tradition, @scottaukerman @mrsanz and I welcome you to 2018 with the first Comedy Bang Bang of the year! Up on RejectedJokes.com right now. Happy new year!

One of my father’s wonderful friends just mailed me a flyer for, I think, the first ever Hot Sauce sketch show over 12 years ago. We did this after months of trying sketches and right before Gil joined.

Here’s a photo of me living in a tent in Chad and Will’s apartment when I first moved to LA. This is where I slept for a while. To my right is the kitchen and in front of me is Guitar Hero.

Hey @blakegriffin32, I made you a commercial this morning at 6AM for your @jumpman23 brand sneakers from a bunch of years ago. Also the rim broke. Sadly, this is not an ad.

Here’s my Best Nine of 2017. What a year. #BestNine2017

My first meal of 2018 included a hot chocolate and a lemon tart. It’s all downhill from here.

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