rejectedjokes rejectedjokes

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Ben Schwartz  Twitter and Snapchat- Rejectedjokes

Here is the cover for our new book “Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You Fucking Idiot”! The comedic book, which is filled with 100 tips and illustrations to help you maneuver through the terrible world of dating in 2017, is finally AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER! HOORAYYYY!!! Go to to find the pre-order link. We’re so excited for everyone to check out this book!

It's time for a new kind of superhero.

Dear Jim's, my stomach says thank you and how dare you.


UPDATE: The next Middleditch and Schwartz improv shows at @largolosangeles will be on May 22nd and May 23rd. Tickets just went up but 22nd is sold out so we opened a new show on the 23rd. Link on my twitter. Pic by @kevintporter.

The great @rahulkohli13 got a custom Funko made for me after wrapping Happy Anniversary because nerd recognizes nerd. Thank you sweet man and thanks to @littlepopworkshop for being amazing.


Big writing day today.

I have been trying to figure out a way to use Instagram Live and this may be it. Introducing Instagram Live Shootout. Once in a while, I will go head to head with any human in a best of 10 shoot out (no free throws) on Instagram Live. Loser has to donate 50 bucks to the @aclu_nationwide. We don't have to be in the same location but it has to happen through Instagram Live so there is no editing and it's live. Both contestants record live through the whole thing from their respective locations. One person goes first. Then the other. I do not expect to win many of these but here is my submission tape and MF DOOM rapping. WHO IS THE FIRST CHALLENGER??? Thank you to @nickthune for inspiring me with his social media competitive nature. And thank you to Instagram Live for which I have no idea how to use. Also this is not an ad and may be a terrible idea.

Got 'em. @breckinmeyer busted by my Proactiv trap.

V cool. V unhelpful.


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