rejectedjokes rejectedjokes

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Ben Schwartz  Twitter and Snapchat- Rejectedjokes

"You expect me to believe that a bunch of trucks just started doing donuts on Laurel and Mulholland for 15 minutes for no reason?!?! Don't lie to me Ben! Tell me why you're late!!!"

Here I am doing my spot on Larry King impersonation for the man himself @larrykingnow. I asked him to say a sentence that I could echo back.

True Detective season 3. Coming June 5th.

Raging on a Saturday night.

Here is the cover for our new book “Things You Should Already Know About Dating, You Fucking Idiot”! The comedic book, which is filled with 100 tips and illustrations to help you maneuver through the terrible world of dating in 2017, is finally AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER! HOORAYYYY!!! Go to to find the pre-order link. We’re so excited for everyone to check out this book!

It's time for a new kind of superhero.

Dear Jim's, my stomach says thank you and how dare you.


UPDATE: The next Middleditch and Schwartz improv shows at @largolosangeles will be on May 22nd and May 23rd. Tickets just went up but 22nd is sold out so we opened a new show on the 23rd. Link on my twitter. Pic by @kevintporter.

The great @rahulkohli13 got a custom Funko made for me after wrapping Happy Anniversary because nerd recognizes nerd. Thank you sweet man and thanks to @littlepopworkshop for being amazing.


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