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recoveringbirdy recoveringbirdy

190 posts   3299 followers   93 followings

Birdy💫  "The question is not how to get cured, but how to live." 👯💘 584km 🗝 recovery, travel and lifestyle journal

Sometimes life makes no sense.
You sit and think: What the hell is the whole thing? Why should I live at all, for what?
There is a certain emptiness in the room. You feel lost. Nothing seems more important.
No matter what positive mantras and sentences one mentally mentions, nothing helps. The feeling of senselessness remains and is pressing hard on the mind.
This point is disturbing and liberating.
Disturbing, because you do not know at first how to deal with it. Liberating, because at this point a lot of new possibilities can arise, if one admits and can deal with it.
What makes life meaning?
Again and again I asked myself this question and I never received an answer.
The more I looked for a sense, the less it seemed to me that I would ever find a satisfactory answer.
Perplexity grew wide.
I also tried to forget the question for a while. Just to live. This did not work so well. Again and again the question came up. The question did not leave me alone ...
And then, one day, I sat half desperately in front of my desk, came the enlightenment: there is no point. Life has no meaning. And asking for it alone is totally absurd and makes no sense.
For if there was a sense, who would then determine that? And what would it look like?
So suppose there is a meaning that is at the bottom of life. What could that be? To breed? That can not be anything. Having a nice job, starting a family and building a house? Hm, much too superficial. Follow his calling and make the most of every situation? Sounds kind of too simple and unsatisfying
But I do not like that at all, you might say.
If life has no meaning, why should I live at all? For what? That does not make sense. That's why I often feel so lost and miserable, precisely because I do not know what to live for.
You are looking for a meaning where there is none. That's the problem. The search itself is the problem!
Let me explain ...
Throughout your life you are looking for a meaning, for what it is worth living for. And because you've always been on the lookout, you've never been in for a search.
This is exactly what makes you miserable. 🔻🔻read below🔻🔻

I am a person. I am not always happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week; sometimes I feel sad, sometimes I feel angry, sometimes i feel digusting and sometimes i feel alone. Sometimes I feel so broke like I'm dying inside because I am not strong enough. I am a person. I am not continuously grateful for everything and everyone 100% of the time. Because sometimes, I don't feel grateful! Sometimes I feel betrayed, other times I feel deceived. Because I am a person.
I have learned that if you fake your life it will kill you slowly, terribly and cause the most pain for everyone. You try to do the right thing, not hurt anyone, conform to what love is supposed to be and what it is supposed to look like, but in the end it destroys you. It eats away at your heart and soul like acid. You slowly destroy those around you that you say you love, and you slowly destroy yourself.
And I am tired of trying to make everything all right. I do not want to be false. I want to be a person. And I want to feel and I want to think, and no, not everything in life is something to be grateful for; and no, not everything in the world is something to be happy about. I am a person. My face can do a lot of things aside from smiling. My face can look peaceful, it can look thoughtful, it can look Divine. I can frown and sometimes my eyebrows are scrunched up in the middle; that's because I'm thinking! I am a person. A person that is so much more than what popular opinion expects is the definition of perfection. But I AM okay like i am.I am good the very way that I am. And I would never want to be only what popular thought would expect of me. I am so much more than that.
I'm sorry guys but at the moment i am feeling very lonely in my family but I promise you that as soon the situation gets better i will update you 💭

You've got this life and while you've got it, you'd better be crazy like you only have one moment, try to hold someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's eyes like they're the last you'll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there's no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it's the only one left in the world! 🍰

I swear,
That my problems and failures will not stop me, nor will they dictate who I am.

That I will continue to be my own person.

That life is too short, and I will live every day as the best person I can be.

That I will grow and that I will change.

That I will smile and hold my head high.

That this is a new start and a new day.

That I will allow myself to cry or sit by myself when I need to.

That I will find things to really smile about.

I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with.
Tell me why you loved them,
then tell me why they loved you.
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling good.
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling bad.
I wanna know the first person who taught you your beauty
could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass.
See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living.
I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving,
and if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes.
I wanna know if you bleed sometimes
from other people’s wounds,
and if you dream sometimes
that this life is just a balloon
that if you wanted to, you could pop,
but you never would
‘cause you’d never want it to stop.
If a tree fell in the forest
and you were the only one there to hear
if its fall to the ground didn’t make a sound,
would you panic in fear that you didn’t exist,
or would you bask in the bliss of your nothingness?

I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days. It overwhelms me as I’m sitting on the car, watching the flowers from a window, a sudden burst of realisation in the middle of the night. I can’t help it and I can’t stop it. I’m alone as I’ve always been and sometimes it hurts…. but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. To comfort my own heart when I wake up sad. To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky, in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk an early morning in summer, or a handwritten letter to an old friend simply saying ”I thought of you. I hope you’re well.” No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Get yourself some books and learn them by heart. Dress up for no one but you and simply feel nice. it’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.

I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days, but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. Slowly building myself a home with things I like. Colors that calm me down, a plan to follow when things get dark, a few people I try to treat right. I don’t sometimes, but it’s my intent to do so. I’m learning.I’m learning to make things nice for myself. I’m learning to save myself.
I’m trying, as I always will.💫

And if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save

Eat glitter for breakfast and shine all day✨
Atm i am enjoying time on board of the ship aida, make many challenges, drinking cocktails 🍹,trying new things, eating good food, laughing with my family, discovering different places and cultures and just live my life! 🏝
Hope you're doing well and have a nice day ☀️

Yes, it’s okay to be afraid.
It’s okay to hesitate before plunging from your comfort zone.

It’s okay to have scars, pimples, insecurities, moles, cellulite, tremors, debts, redness, regrets, loneliness and uncertainty.

It’s okay to have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s okay to struggle with some things, while enjoying others. It’s okay to find joy in the beauty in life, even after a great loss.
It’s okay to change.
It’s okay to move on. And it’s okay to fear changing and moving on.

Wherever you are, and whatever you are experiencing, is okay.
You didn’t invent the universe and you didn’t invent the human condition.

You don’t need permission to live whatever you’re living, even if it looks and feels different from anyone else’s life around you.
And it’s okay to feel like you need that permission anyway.💫

You are beautiful.
What does it mean?
Just a word but so much more.
Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

I have never see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have never see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have never see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile.
I have never to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful just the way you are🌸

Spent a wonderful day with my best friend in kalsruhe.
We went shoping, eating ice cream, making pictures and laughed a lot❤️
Thank you for all the funny moments, the smile you look at me, the way you take me in your arms and never let me go, how much you support me and always be there for me, I love you and i am so glad to have you back and by my side💘
I will never let you go😈

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