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reccewife reccewife

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RecceWife  Musings of a Canadian Military Family. Believer. Wife. Mom. Writer. Speaker. Runner. Starbucks addict refusing recovery.

http://www.sheisfierce.net/

We've been redecorating and I love the new art and inspiration.

Shameless selfie because today's dress was the best.
#pinup #pinupgirl #tattoo

Freckles is on a date today.

We shall call her Skater Girl, because she's into Roller Derby. We like her, she's smart and she can hold her own at our dinner table.

We knew it was serious because Freckles immediately took a photo of his highschool schedule when he got it, to text to her so she'd know where to find him.
Dh laughed at him

Today, I found this searching ancient boxes in my old hope chest.
This worn, ripped, 22 year old schedule that Dh gave me in Grade 8 so I would know where he was.
Huh.
Some things don't really change.

Starting to bring in my herbs from the outside garden means an update to my kitchen window.

It's funny, the contrast.

This morning, I was so happy to see my friends' husbands home from deployment.

This evening, my livingroom filled with the look of goodbye.

A short goodbye. Barely even a notice in our world. Our kids hardly registered the week or two he'd be gone.

And yet I hate every night alone.

I also love it. The time to write until the early morning. The chance to eat cereal for dinner and not hear the alarm before 5am.

Except every night he's not by my side when I sleep...
Every time I lean over half awake and no one is there to hold on...
Every moment of anxiety when I don't have my rock to remind me it's all going to work out.

I always hate it.
Even when it's routine.
Even when it's 18 years and 4 deployments and countless time alone later.

It all still sucks some nights.
It's taken me years to remember that that okay, because I know I can do it even if I don't like it.
I'm strong and independent and fine with him leaving.
I even encourage it, when its been a while. Sometimes I need the space. And the quite. And the time alone.
Still.
I'm here.
Saying goodbye.

Just for a moment.

They're scattered all over.
Some don't wear a uniform anymore.
Some wear a different one.
They are alll wearing their best today, though, standing next to the track of the ARV, and they almost look out of place.

Unless you know.

In a crowd of many to dedicate the vehicle to their fallen brother, they came on their own and stood with the crowd, and then they headed home. Like everyone else, there's nothing different about them.

Unless you know.

They are there because they were *there*. They'll always be there.

Their clothes, their jobs, their lives have changed.
It's been 10 years.

What hasn't changed is their willingness to stand to ensure he is remembered, and go home without being noticed for doing so.

Unless you know.

I've made a lot of jokes about coins.
Mostly because I have more than Dh and I like to win.

As a civilian, they're special to me. Usually given to me when I speak somewhere, they remind me of the people I've met and communities I love.
My jokes are only funny because Dh doesn't care. He has a dozen or so coins, most given to him as indication of a job well done.

One for "winning hearts and minds," given by a German commander for providing medical services to members of an Afghan village in 2005.

One was for serving on TF-Iraq. One for being part of the group fighting forest fires in BC in 2003. Or from his commanding officer in 2012.

Today, I found these 3 in the bottom of a Rubbermaid while cleaning out the garage. They are from the first Afghanistan deployment in 2002. When he was 20.
I called him over to look at them and he said "I forgot we had a Squadron coin." And went back to work.

Like he does.

The coins earned as his have been, the ones given as these were for doing unimaginable things... Most of the time they're in Rubbermaids, dresser drawers or old Barracks boxes.

Held by those who see them and think "I just did my job." I have frames of coins from Generals and Commander's all over Canada that I cherish, given to me for engaging our community.

I'll never lose sight, however, of the other way they can be earned and stay hidden.
And I'll keep finding them, and bringing them out to the light.

This is what happens when you take screens away for the day at the Fierce house.

Why yes, Dh's childhood GIJoe jet is hanging from my ceiling fan, and batman is leading the charge.... At least Captain America is on the good side.

There was some disagreement on which side Ghost Rider was on, though.

Me: "I'm going to host a Posted In Party for military spouses in our community." Dh: "Just don't go overboard." Me: "I never do that." Also me: *creates themed welcome bags and door prizes with chalkboard centerpieces*

Apparently today is National Dog Day.

Well we have dog.

His name is Trooper (because of course it is.) When we went to the shelter, we told the kids "we will take a long time to find the right dog for us so don't get your hopes up." But Trooper, he had just come up for adoption that day, after being found months before rooting through dumpsters downtown. And he just sat there, while the rest barked around him, and watched us.

He looks like a Border Collie. Maybe a bit like a Burmese.... Eh, he's a dog.

I only hoped Dh would be kind. He's not a pet person, I worried how it would go over.

About 6 months in, he said "you know how some veterans get dogs to help them reintegrate from war?' And I said "yes..." Not wanting to ruin the uncharacteristic moment of sharing.

He said "I can see that." And then we said nothing else, and he took Trooper to the park to throw the ball until he was too tired to make it home. And 5 years later, they're still a team.
Sometimes, dogs save us

#nationaldogday #bordercollie #dogsofinstagram #rescuedog

Freckles first day with a ukelele so he enlisted Drama to sing along while he learned.

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