readysteady_zo readysteady_zo

954 posts   4,179 followers   1,381 followings

ZoΓ« - Katherine πŸŽΏπŸπŸƒπŸ½πŸŒ  23πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ΊIP πŸ₯🌷twin🚻Anorexia b/p sub 10yrs ⬆️⬇️ depression anxietyπŸ‘ŠπŸΌREADY STEADY GO-recover and LIVEπŸ’ͺ🏼INFJ🌱minimalist ✏️@zoeksdrawing

Got to hang out with my twin on the weekend πŸŽ‰πŸ’•πŸ˜Š it was so good to see him! Had case review yesterday which went badly 😫 I lost weight and I'm so mad cause idek how! They r finally increasing my meal plan after weeks of saying they would, but they've taken most of my leave off me 😀 fucking fuming! If they'd increased the plan before giving me more leave last week I probs would have lost weight and now I feel like I'm being punished despite not having done anything wrong πŸ˜’ I did have weight exposure yesterday and it was lower than what I expected πŸ€” but has gone up a lot compared to when I was first admitted to hospital around 8 weeks ago. Fml I just wanna get out. I'm having issues with feeling bigger and dealing with that- also my face is chubbier and feck.... its just so stressful.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Today marks 1 MONTH being on this ward πŸ₯This was what I had for lunch with mum the other day (+ face mask I bought) πŸ˜‹ had lunch outing today which was really scary and I've had buy and bring back the past 2 afternoons (but afternoon tea and eat back on ward). Which have been difficult cause they won't let me get a muesli bar I had a crunchy yesterday and a maxi-Bon today... both of which were too sweet and made me feel sick 🀒 which is unusual. I'm desperate to get out. After a month we finally had a psychology group focusing on ED stuff- it's body image for the next few weeks. Hopefully will be helpful but I do think a lot of it I will already know πŸ€”πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ ah well. Thanks for all your support lovelies 😘
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Got to go on leave with Mum today!!! πŸŽ‰πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ 3 whole hours! Had a walk around Newtown and had lunch with her 😊 met my designated psychiatrist today in case review - which actually went okay. She asked the team if I could have more than 30 min leave in afternoons but dietician said no and idk why πŸ˜’πŸ˜€ meeting with the dietician today or tomorrow cause she's increasing my meal plan 😰 it's gonna be so hard but if it means I'll be discharged sooner I'm all for it. .
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

πŸŽ‰β€οΈβ˜•οΈGot out this afternoon, had morning outing, had "buy and bring back" also this afternoon- which was made difficult by the nurse who kept nagging me πŸ˜’πŸ˜€ would have been so much less stressful without her! Breaking out soooo badly - I swear it's all the sugary juices and food we have to eat πŸ€”Finally getting around to reading Harry Potter- halfway through the second book already. Dad and my littlest brother might be coming tomorrow as well as another friend from school πŸ’• hopefully that will keep me occupied. Sandwich group tomorrow at lunch as well.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Old pic cause I have nothing to post. Got my tube out today πŸŽ‰ πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ˜Š soooo fkn happy! I still just really wanna leave. They r increasing my meal plan next week 😰 I saw a friend this afternoon and got to go out for a bit πŸ’• I have 1hr leave each day over the weekend but I don't know that anyone is going to be able to take me- I can't yet go unescorted πŸ˜’πŸ˜€ it might be a rough weekend stuck here with nothing to do. I hate how it's soooo fkn restrictive here! .
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Got to go out for 30 mins yesterday πŸ€·πŸ½β€β™€οΈ better than nothing. I'm legit going stir crazy! Hopefully this will be the last ever picture of me with a tube 🀞🏼plan is for it to come out tomorrow. I'm also hoping to get more leave on the weekend. I've decided to apply for discharge in two weeks- even though my order is for 12. I just really think that although this is helping with eating it's not helping with my mental health. I have not yet received and help on how to deal with my growing body and other 'eating disordered' thoughtsπŸ˜’πŸ˜€ I had a horrible day on Sunday and ended up banging my head against a wall- which I haven't done since March.
Thank you everyone for all your fantastic support- although I don't reply much it doesn't go unnoticed or is not unappreciated 😘😘😘
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Update ‼️Hung out with Dad for an hour yesterday arvo 😊 was good, didn't go into any of the πŸ’© stuff. Had the tribunal on Friday and my order is 3 months 😫😫😫 I can't stand being here any longer. Idk how I'm going to cope!! It's actually SO shit! I'm a fucking prisoner. Dr said at this rate I won't be the target weight until 10 weeks time and then they will want to see me maintaining for a couple weeks. Ugh! I'm so mad. Despite being on 2500 I'm not really gaining, I'm actually feeling hungry/ want to eat more sometimes. It's fkn weird πŸ˜’I just wish mum or someone could get the drs to see that I'd be better off not in hospital. I don't believe it when the drs say I've still got symptoms of being malnourished- my bloods are fine, Ik my heart is being weird but it always does that- it's been doing that for years and no ones really been worried about it before. I'm eating everything and it's a massive struggle 😀 I feel like I'm getting bigger. This is all so hard to deal with but it's my only way out.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

This cute lil thang came to visit today πŸ’•πŸŽ‰πŸΆ also went on morning tea outing for the first time! It was really hard also being around loads of people in an enclosed cafe was stressful. I had a Raspberry and Pistachio friand πŸ˜‹ and a REAL coffee ❀️ will update regarding tribunal and daily rumination/ sooky la la grievances in next post. .
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Got a coffee whilst out with Charlotte today πŸ’•πŸ’• fuck I miss good coffee β˜•οΈπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ only got 30 mins out but was good. Showers are working now so I'm all clean πŸ’πŸ½ starting to become a bit disillusioned... less motivated I guess. Just because it's starting to hit me that I won't be out of here for a while- especially seeing as my weight hasn't been going up. πŸ€” find out Friday if/ when they will increase my meal plan. Have a meeting with Legal Aid tomorrow and my tribunal is on Friday 😰also have a case review on Friday. I'm hoping to make it to the morning tea outing on the weekend cause I actually really want to start participating in some of the challenges and I am soooo sick of the same foods. But there are parts of the program I'm not allowed to participate in cause of Ng tube- which I think is really silly πŸ˜’ how can I prove I'm trying if I'm not allowed to??? Make sense? The ward phone is broken so I can't talk to my mum or twin which is actually really frustrating especially cause twin is kinda on struggle street and finds chatting to me helpful 😞 I just wanna get out. .
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

@survivi.ng.k did mah hair πŸ’πŸ½πŸ’• which srsly needs a wash but the hot water isn't working πŸ˜’. Had case review today, devastated the tube still needs to be in. I can't cope with the prospect of being here longer than a month. It's been 2 weeks today and 5wks total in hospital πŸ˜“ can't believe it's already August tomorrow. Mum came yesterday and it was SOOO good to see her but she wasn't able to stay for long. I've got 30 mins leave tomorrow and Thursday - escorted- I'm keen. πŸŽ‰ spoke with the dietician today and my weight has started to go down again so they want to increase the meal plan probably at the end of the week 😰 I'm already struggling so much on what I'm being given.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

Got some leave again today with a friend from boarding school πŸ’•πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ haven't had coke in AGES and I actually really liked this 😊 pulled the tube out this evening but I don't think they r gonna put one back in 🀞🏼 Mum is coming to visit tomorrow but won't be able to bring clothes for me. Have been looking at buying pants online for 4 days now and still can decide... don't feel like I deserve it. But they r quite baggy- and I feel like I'm really going to need some more baggy stuff as I grow πŸ˜’
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #edfighter

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