I hope all my IG friends are having a fun #wickedcatwednesday today. You may have seen my earlier posts about me vanquishing the cat imposter and vowing to seek revenge on the boy, however, I thought I should update you on some of the things I have learned from my wicked deeds this week.
First, I escaped my confines twice this week by running out the front door when the humans opened it. I found, however, that pulling this stunt is much more rewarding when my humans are saying goodbye to a guest. The guest feels a little guilty that the cat getting loose is his fault, and the humans feel slightly embarrassed chasing around a cat as the guest walks to his car.
Also, when my mom feeds me in the morning, I find it quite rewarding to walk very slowly right in front of her, pausing frequently, as she brings my wet food from the refrigerator to my bowl. What I learned by doing this is that my mom is very silly, thinking that I would understand her telling me, "go forward, go forward" like she says when the boy does this to her.
Now kids, don't try this at home -- I learned that it is very risky to bother mom by quietly lying right behind her while she is doing the dishes. However, when she steps backward and accidently steps on my tail, it is an invitation to yowl at her, grab her legs with my claws and bite them. I can then make her feel really guilty by scampering off and looking upset with her.
The other thing that I learned is that the toilet seat is not the best vantage point for leaping up to attack bugs. It is very slippery and you wouldn't want to fall into the moat where the boy keeps his brown crocodiles.
Lastly, while using mom's computer as a bum warmer, I learned that I could do internet searches. SWIPE LEFT to see what I was trying to search for today.
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