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Bianca Sparacino  Creative Director @thoughtcatalog NYC Toronto based 🍒 My new book is available down below. 🔻

If you care about someone, make them a priority. Make them a priority not just when it is easy, but when it is difficult as well. If you care about someone, show up for them when you say you will. Show up for them when they least deserve it, because that is when they need it the most. Just be there for them — not because you have to be, but because you want to be.
If you care about someone, put your phone down. Sit across from them at dinner and listen to them. Give yourself the space to dive with them, into deeper conversation, into the kind of quality time that makes you feel like you are the only two people in the world. Connect with them. Please, if you care for someone — connect.
If you care about someone, let them know that you do. Always remind them that you appreciate the very heart within their chest. Always remind them that you want to protect who they are, that they are your favorite thing, and do not just do this with words. When it comes to someone else’s soul, you have to show them that they matter to you, you have to take action in making sure that they feel loved.

If you care about someone, if you truly care, just be good to them. Too many people selfishly take hearts into their own hands and they fail to protect them, they fail to nurture them. Too many people grow comfortable and complacent, they lose sight of what they have. They take and take, and they rarely think about what they are giving.
Please, if you love someone, stand up for that. Be honest with them. Choose them every single day, and if you cannot, or if things change, let them go. Let them go, because if they love you deeply they will not have it within them to stop trying, they will not be able to walk away, for it is a fatal flaw in people who love with everything they have. They must be set free. Do not keep someone around only to love them in halves. They are better off giving their love to someone who has room within their chest to accept it, and you are better off figuring out what your heart desires before you try to open it to someone who will never stop trying to give you the world. ✨

Be deeply curious with your life. ✨

A soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself.
A soulmate is someone who does not judge you for your flaws. A soulmate is someone who sees your jagged edges, who sees the parts of you that have been weathered by love and by life, who sees the wars that you fight, and who chooses to stand beside you. A soulmate is someone who watches as you confront your scars from the inside; always encouraging you to heal on your own time, in your own way; always encouraging you to keep going.
A soulmate is someone who challenges you to challenge yourself. Someone who sees the potential that courses through your bones, and who lets you know exactly what you are capable of. They help you to open your eyes, to come to terms with the fact that you are powerful beyond measure. They see you in ways that you have never been able to see yourself, and they are not afraid to inspire you until you finally see it too.
See, a soulmate is someone who is not afraid of your growth. They do not feel the need to close you off, to protect you from becoming as big as you were always meant to be. They do not feel inadequate when they see you soar, when they see something new within you spark. A soulmate is someone who will never vilify you for changing, for doing the things you have always held yourself back from doing, because a soulmate knows that you are building yourself into someone you are proud of, and that is so beautiful to them — that is what they have always hoped for you.
So no, a soulmate does not complete you — they inspire you to complete yourself. A soulmate is the person who supports your direction, who motivates and encourages you to stretch, to change, to reinvent yourself until you are happy. A soulmate is someone who loves you with so much conviction, and so much heart, that it is nearly impossible to doubt just how capable you are of becoming exactly who you have always wanted to be. ✨

It took me a long time to realize that you can do everything right and still end up unhappy. You can say all of the right things, do exactly as you are told, follow in the footsteps of all the people who swore by their success and their strategy surrounding it, and you can still end up displaced — because you didn’t ever choose to simply listen to yourself.

The best thing I ever did for myself was simply listen to what I actually wanted. I drowned out the guidelines, the advice, the “shoulds.” And I messed up. I made mistakes that I’ll never forget. I hurt people I loved, and I got hurt.

See, self discovery isn’t this comfortable, miraculous thing. It can get ugly, it can get confusing. It's gritty, it's hard. It’s difficult to confront yourself sometimes, it's difficult to be the person who does things differently, who doesn’t settle.

But it's the greatest gift you will ever give yourself. It will push you towards figuring out what your own personal version of happiness looks like; and when you grow on your own terms, when you figure out what actually matters to you, and when you carve out your own path, you live on your own terms. You love on your own terms. You become the person you have always wanted to be, rather than the person you were always told to be, and that is beautiful. Because when it comes down to it — life is about making yourself proud on your own terms. It’s about finding a happiness that works for you.✨

See, I don’t care for your looks. They don’t attract me nearly as much as your voice does when you’re teaching me something I do not know. When you speak with passion and with conviction, when your eyes light up at the opportunity to enliven me with words, with art, with depth.

I am attracted to you most when your pen is hanging out of your mouth, when you’re trying to free the world inside of your head. When you’re rubbing the sleep from your eyes, moved by the shade of your dreams, by the colour of your midnight thoughts. I am most attracted to you when you’re determined to do something that exhilarates you, even when you are being stubborn and unruly. I am most attracted to your fire, I am drawn to your flame.

No, I don’t care for your looks. I care for your energy, for the conversations we have when we are both electrified by opinion and passion and inspiration. I care for the days I get to watch you do what you love, when I get to see you empty out every ounce of your heart into something that means the world to you. I care for the moments of quiet that dance between us, the seconds between breaths when we are both laying in bed, aware of just how incredible it is to care for someone who makes you want to be a better person.

To put it lightly, I am attracted to you because I am in awe of you. I respect you. You challenge me, you make me think, and that has nothing to do with the specks of amber in your eyes or the crooked way your teeth crowd your smile. With you, I am attracted to the way you make me feel, and because of that I do not just want to give you my skin, my breath, the home that is my body. With you, I want to give you poetry, I want to give you the soul of me, every atom and cell. I want to disregard the mask that is beauty, I want to forget about the surface. Instead, with you, I want to dig until I reach the core of who we are — I want to dive.

My little reminder for you tonight. ☁️✨

It’s time to forgive yourself for once accepting less than you deserved.
It’s time to forgive yourself for never being able to love in halves. For giving yourself to someone who did not know what to do with the brevity of your soul, who did not know what to do with the weight of your bones under all of the feeling you held within you.
It’s time to forgive yourself for hoping, for having faith in the softness of love and how it could prevail. It’s time to forgive yourself for trying, for believing so ruthlessly that “I love you” meant “I’ll stay.”
It’s time to forgive yourself for the people who walked away. For the ones who didn’t fight, for the ones who made you feel like you were not worthy of being loved the way you loved others. It’s time to forgive yourself for the way in which you trusted, the way in which you let them leave fingerprints along your spine. It’s time to forgive yourself for unhinging your chest, for letting them leave their memories in your ribcage, for letting them take so much of you.
It’s time. It’s time to forgive yourself for once accepting less than what you deserved. It’s time to understand that you had absolutely no say in how long someone stayed — that you couldn’t have loved them any more, that you couldn’t have bent them into someone who understood the core of you.
Trust me when I say that there is a love out there for you. It is the kind of love that will understand the very language your heart speaks. It won’t fumble with the depth of you, it won’t take you for granted. Out there thrives a love that will rise above anything you have ever felt, a love that will feel as if it was made for you, but you have to be patient. Do not fall back into the arms of those who broke you; do not let your scars convince you that your heart does not hold value. Fight for the kind of love you know you deserve, demand the kind of love that speaks to you; the kind of love that makes you want to be a better person, the kind of love that inspires you, and it will come.
It will come.

The poem in the photo is from my second book, 'The Strength In Our Scars' which you can read more about through the link in my bio ✨

I need you to know that it gets better.

I need you to know that the way you flay your heart open for the world is brave, that the way in which you refuse to be anything but soft, even when you feel like you may just break under the weight of feeling, is why you are needed here. I need you to know that beautiful things are vanishing each day, and I am proud of you for fighting to ensure that your soul is not one of them. You need to keep fighting.
I need you to know that you will find the places that leave every tender part of you feeling calm and at peace with who you are. You will find the places that inspire everything inside of you to surge and ache with the hope and the beauty of being alive. These places, they are not where you were born, but they will be where you are reborn. You will know when you have found them. My god, will you know.

I need you to know that there are others like you in this world; others who are messy hearted, others who feel things intensely, and without hesitation, others who cannot contain all that they hold within the worlds of their mind because they have only ever known how to pour, how to shatter, how to give and give and give. I need you to know that you will find these people, and they will become your family — you will take care of each other. You will grow together, in the moments between breaths, in the stunning silence that blankets your souls when you connect with the fact that in a world of billions, in the middle of all this noise, you found each other.

But most of all, I need you to know that we are all here, together, dealing with what is dark and light within us. I need you to know that you aren't alone. I need you to know that you are going to survive this. I need you to know that one day, you’re going to be sitting in a place you love, surrounded by people who inspire you, and you’re going to think back to the storms, and the hurricanes that rattled through your bones, and you are going to smile. The clarity will wash over you. You will be free. You will be free.

Take care of yourself 💛

It’s harrowing — we walk around with these masks. We hide away the parts of ourselves that make us human — the parts that have built us into who we are today, the parts that are the cornerstones of our stories, our lessons, our scars. We tuck away the things that we feel ashamed of, the mistakes we have made, the people we have hurt, the hearts we have walked away from when we should have stayed.
And we give up too soon. We don’t get to know people, we fear that they will run away the moment they see our bruises, our baggage. We convince ourselves that they wouldn’t have ever been able to shine light into the depths within us, that they couldn’t possibly comprehend what we have gone through, or what haunts us at night.
But we are wrong. We are so wrong. Because we aren’t the only human beings to have felt loss deep in our bones, to have had our hearts broken in irreparable ways. We aren’t the only people who have stories building up within us, questions we wish we could ask. We aren’t alone. We aren’t alone.
And I think that’s what makes it so comical, so heartbreaking. We are all searching for connection, and yet we are all avoiding eye contact. We are all searching for people who understand, but we aren’t staying around long enough to realize that every single person has felt the same before. Instead, we convince the outside world that we are fine, even if we are aching for help, and that is why we don’t get it. That is why the distance between us and everyone around us widens. We are all running away from each other, when we should be running towards one another.
The truth is — when I stopped convincing myself that others couldn’t understand me, the world opened up to me, it said “I am going through this with you.” People started to express experiences that related to mine. They spoke their heartbreak, they expressed their deepest fears. When I stopped convincing myself that I was alone, I realized that I was surrounded — by human beings who just wanted to connect, and that was beautiful. That was when my healing began, that was when I started to realize that we need each other more than we will every truly comprehend.

From my second book 'The Strength In Our Scars' ✨

Let me tell you about people who love deeply.

They are wells of feeling; they do not know how to turn their hearts off, do not know how to stop giving, and though this is the most beautiful aspect of who they are, it is also the most fatal, for people who love deeply also hurt deeply.

See, people who love deeply always lock the hurricane that is their soul into the wrong ribcages. They spill out into the bones of people who were only ever hoping to be a temporary home.

When it comes to people who love deeply, the ones they choose can’t quite understand just how someone can pour themselves out for another person and ask for nothing in return. However, they continue to take. They allow for the warmth of this human being to make them feel new again, and when they are done with the keeping of a rare and beautiful thing, only then, do they discard it.

But people who love deeply have a hard time being set free. People who love deeply have a hard time leaving because they can never quite convince themselves that they need to walk away from someone they know they can help. They will never stop trying to love someone into their potential.

And this is why people who love deeply hurt the most. The thought of someone leaving when they still had so much left to give haunts them. People who love deeply never forget — they are tattooed with the goodbyes of everyone they never got the chance to shine for. Even if the love was wrong, to them, no amount of loving is a waste, no amount of taking is too much. They live to give.
So that is where you come in. Let me tell you about people who love deeply — they are human beings that don’t quite make sense to most. They are the few genuine souls who give selflessly, but that does not mean you get to take advantage of that. No, if you do not respect that, if you do not know when to stop taking, and when to start loving them despite their inability to ask for that love, do not touch them. Do not taste them. Do not drink from the well of their hope. Do not be selfish with their heart. Do not ruin them like the others.

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