mood for the next 2 months...
ahhh it just hit me.
Tomorrow morning bright and early I go in for surgery. I fractured my back playing volleyball and played with it fractured until it eventually broke severely and I was unable to play the sport I love. Up until a couple weeks ago, I didn't have any idea that it was broken😩 I've been in a lotttt of pain for over a year now because of it. I can't work out, it hurts to sit, drive, walk and it's just gotten to the point where I can't handle it anymore. Finally I'm getting surgery!! I've tried to mentally prepare for the long recovery and I'm trying to be chill about laying in bed for weeks but for someone who has really bad anxiety, this is making my head explode.
If you know me, you know I can't sit still. Lately I've been on the go, doing things that make me so happy and surrounding myself with the best people. I'm probably the happiest I've ever been and this is only the beginning. Putting everything on hold is not something I would've expected to do at this point in my life so I am freaking out. But I have realized that it's ok to be stressed, to take a pause, to be sad, to feel alone, to be at rock bottom, because that is where ambition comes from. My dreams are huge and I'm gonna make them happen. I will never stop going after the things I want in life and neither should you! Think about what you're doing right now. I want you to really think about your life and everything that goes with it and make sure that it's going the direction that you want. You're in control of who your friends are, how you treat your family, and to an extent, the way you want your life to be. If you're not happy, then something isn't right.
I might be peacin out for a little bit but I promise you'll be seeing me ;) wish me luck!
Thanks so much to everyone sending me positive vibes lately. Nothing goes unnoticed.