This is quite a #transformationtuesday.
Mentally, physically, spiritually, etc. and frankly, still ongoing. I still have to remind myself daily that regardless of my weight I am enough. I use to pride and gage my worth on my “thinness”, being a size 0, and my borderline BMI. Day in and day out I’d restrict and count and starve and tell myself it was ok because I was “fine”. I wasn’t at death’s door or at a weight where I’d be admitted to a hospital so I was “ok”. I’d even dream about food and eating and wake up feeling loathsome and guilty. I never did any exercise or extracurricular activities because my body couldn’t take it. I remember stretching one morning before leaving for class and passing out in my bedroom closet. It’s insane to think about how much I gambled with my very existence.....I now have the energy to choose, to climb, to hike, to bike, to be outside, to do all the things I love, to LIVE.