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qinniart qinniart

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Qing Han  韩青 | Qinni Professional doodler (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)◞✏ 3x open heart surgery survivor (•́⌄•́๑)૭✧ - FAQ account: @qinnih Qinniart @Twitter Thx for the coffee ☕️💕

It's my birthday~~! ☕️🌙 if you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee~! Link in my profile 😳💕
Although it's more like internet fund now cause the hospital internet is expensive and unstable, and my phone data is expensive af lol. I think I've spent over $200 on Internet over the 3 weeks I've been stuck in the hospital D;
I feel like this is the only time I can really ask for this, hope you guys don't mind 😆~ thank you >.<~!
Ahhh I'm alone in the hospital haha ;-;~ and my surgery is in 37 hours!! Ahhhhhhh

#coffee #moon #tears #illustration

sometimes it feels like I can't breath..."

It's official, I need to get another open heart surgery, and will happen next week. and coincidentally, my birthday's also next week, so THAT'S GREAT. The best present, really. Everything I didn't want happen is now happening hahahaha.
The next thing I don't want to happen is a heart transplant, and at this rate, I can see it happening. the mortality rate statistically....57% survival after 10 years..?..that number...."orz
Understandably, a lot of people seem to think my anxiety is due to the actual surgery, but i'll be honest, it's the pain post-surgery that triggers my trauma more than death.

So I shared my experience with post-surgery in detail on twitter, but cause of the word limit, I'm only going to share a part of it here:
For the first 24 hours, you're in the ICU. You wake up a little bit, and there's a bit of pain but mostly you're high on morphine.The pain slowly sets in as the hours go on tho, and you're connected to all sorts of tubes to help you breath better, but it feels extremely uncomfortable. You can't move. You're connected to a urinary catheter. If you're unlucky, they might've given you too much antibiotics during the surgery and you'll get diarrhea, but you won't be able to get up, and the shame and pain of everything just overcomes you. While in the ICU, you'll be constantly thirsty; the nurse on shift will feed to you tiny ice cubes when you finally manage to make a sound at them. You wish that you can just pass out as pain sets in, but you can't.
Afterwards, you get moved upstairs into a cardiac ward. If you're lucky, you'll share a room with people who won't snore. Everything hurts. You're given a pillow to hold your chest at all times when you move, like holding your organs in lol. Essentially, every single movement that involves your upper body will hurt for the next month or so, making it hard to do anything, like sleeping well... You're essentially invalid for that time, and will need a caretaker to help you out of bed, out of a steep chair, etc.
Thanks for reading and for all your messages and support. Srsly I'm mostly alone in the hospital so they really help.

🌓🌒🌑 🌑

Funnily enough, i started the initial sketch for this before i came into the hospital..xD;;

Tl;dr: Im hospitalized again for this unknown heart disease and may need open heart surgery...for the 4th time....Grandfather also passed this weekend, so not a good pileup...

So.....it's been a while for those of you guys who don't follow me along on insta-story or twitter~ I've been hospitalized over a week ago due to an ongoing heart disease development. (Doc says it could be the same stuff that made my heart valve fuck up)
Basically, one of my major heart valve has a 90% blockage from an abnormal tissue growth that's still ongoing and no one knows what's going on or what it is. It's apparently pretty dangerous where if the vein blocks completely, I'd probably die (or so the doctor says when I complained about being in the hospital hahaha).
So it's pretty severe and the doctor wants me to prepare for another open heart surgery for a bypass to be put in, though I begged for them to try a stent first even if everyone's doubtful it'll work....i mean, stent is fairly non-invasive procedure, whereas open heart causes so much pain I've already been pretty traumatized from my last 3-in-a-row.....>__<;; Actually, my doctors have also suggested the possibilities of a heart transplant if they can't find a way to stop the growth and since the growth is only in my heart...but I really don't want to think about that...I'm so stressed out these days hahahaha...like, I'll just get waves of anxiety and heaviness in my chest, and palpitations...it doesn't help that my grandfather also just passed away a few days ago. what a terrible pile-on.
Trying to be more positive though! Right now I'm in shitty limbo where I got to wait for procedures and tests to be scheduled and for the doctors to figure things out more from those results.
For those of you guys who's seen my instagram stories and sent me messages, thank you lots. I'll probably keep twitter updated cause i'm too lazy to double-update on two social medias constantly. And thank you guys who bought me ko-fi 💕
Here's another cookie for making it this far~! Haha 🍪. Sorry for the rambling~

#mood #sometimes #illustration

"Let's marry in the space station"🌕⭐️

Edit: lmao I kinda forgot to put a ring on Seven, damn, my bad 😂😂~ uhhhh let's just pretend it's there, ty 👀💦💦

This is kinda late but finnnnallly done! I wanted to finish it for yesterday but I didn't wanna die doing it so yaa xD~
I'm playing Ray's route now and damnn. I need to play Seven's route again after this I think...
I'm not normally even into otome games tho haha, but this one got me.
Which boy/Jaehee is your fav? 😂😆

#mysticmessenger #seven #707 #space #wedding

Rainy nights and starry teas ⭐️🍵

I started this sketch last year hahaha. Can't believe this took a whole month to do...xD~ I wanted to finish this for near years hahahaha, delusions 😂😂
I finally found the thank you button on my ko-fi page loll, spent about 2 hours replying to everyone xD. I hope those whom I replied to got the message haha @-@;;

Sry, I know I'm ranting a lot these days, you can just skip this xD~ I'm not doing too well these days health-wise (or even mentally tbh ffffff) and I'm extremely stressed out for my upcoming heart stress test (MIBI) _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _Yesterday was the worst pain I've ever experienced walking to work. I ended up kinda just shuffling to work like a snail cause I was in to much pain to take normal steps 😂😂. I don't know what's happening and there's still 3 weeks til my test at the hospital...I'm taking a sick leave from work though. The stress is getting to me and I almost had a breakdown the other day hahahaaaaaaa......I think it's like the trauma of "things have happened before so it could happen again" kinda thing....sorry haha~ don't mean to be so morose...look at the picture again to feel the zen I wish I had 😆. I swear, I'm normally decently chirpy lolol~ "orz...anyways, dunno how many of you guys made it here but thank you for your messages last time ヽ(;▽;)ノ. I'll share some coffee this time ☕️😆

#illustration #stars #coffee #tea #rain

Initial sketch vs final image.

I do have a sketchbook just filled with really rough doodles and shitty drawings that'll never see the light of day unless I someday get a patreon and show my shitty sketches hahaha~~

Sorry, I wanted to finish my drawing but my body just can't keep up, and I still need to go to work 8 hours a day. I might be having more heart problems again, since my symptoms seems very much like referred pain where my heart is having a problem and it shows up as muscular pain...I do sometimes have muscular pain when I get anxious and my heart pounds hard...😢. I'm actually really stressed and scared these days but sometimes I'll be too tired to think too hard about it haha...
Got a heart exam scheduled for Feb 21-22, so I'll know for sure after that. I'm going to Japan near the end of March so this is gonna be a headache....I hope it'll be okay...but I'm going anyways =___= argghhhhhhhggggh. I deserve this vacation. Imma go no matter what. It's the only highlight in my life right now, the light at the end of my tunnel of creeping despair and anxiety 😆....
Sorry. Rambled again haha...just ignore me xD. Here's a cookie if you made it this far hahaha 🍪

#mood #illustration #sick #stars #drawing

Some work in progress
I've been really slow at doing my own artwork these days cause I've been having some really bad back pains when I walk fast or on inclined 😭😭. I'm so tired of going to different clinics and seeing different specialists fffffffffffff "orz. Im also just so tired. And of course my cardiologist now says that she's not sure if this pain is related to my heart or not and that she has more tests for me...like, I went to her 2-3 months ago with this problem, got tests done and was told my heart is fine, but now they say they're not sure???! And then I gotta do more tests?? I'm so tired; trying to work out every morning which is also why I have less time to draw my own stuff.....but I'm still so tired.
Arrghhh (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
...sorry, I'm just frustrated...just rambling haha ;3;~

#illust #originalart #artistoninstagram #plants #stars

Just a throwback Kiki as a cover for my ghibli papercraft collection.
Also, Miyazaki-sensei's birthday was on the 5th, so 2 birds in one? 😆

These are just the ones I've put together so far, I still have a few kits lying around. I find these really de-stressing for me, but I think I might be hurting my back a little doing then hahaha...the pieces are sometimes so tiny that when I drop it on the floor I need to spend 5 minutes looking for it 😂.

These are the Ghibli Miniatuart kits, you can find them on some Japanese hobby sites; I bought a bunch from Bento and co when they were having a blackfriday sale haha 💸💸💸. But amiami, hobbylink Japan has them as well and they're reputable sites which I've also ordered items from. Google can help too xD~
Song: Wine by Suran

2013 vs 2017~
Ok last upload this year! (Sort of~! Well, it's still 2017 for me though I know it's already 2018 for some of you guys xD). Thought I'd throw this up before this year ends haha~

Thanks for all the support this year guys~! And happy New Years~! May you guys improve much in whichever endeavour you choose!

I'm hoping to work harder this year and hoping my body will get back into...not hurting when I walk uphill...😆😆

My personal four favs of this year~ (slide to see individual piece 👀)

I think I really slacked off this year tho lol~ I didn't post nearly as much stuff haha;;;...but then again, I think my body actually got worse this year "orz....my chest/shoulder pain is still there when I walk in the mornings...have no idea how to get rid of it @-@;;; and no one can figure out what's wrong with me haha ;-;~ ah, well, I'll deal xD. Hopefully it'll be better soon >.>;;
Wondering if I should post the #bestnine2017 this year lol~~

A new collection of hand references and some old hand tutorial ✌️😆

I love drawing hands~! Any body part you love to draw? Or even have trouble drawing?

I didn't actually plan on colouring them but here we are xD~ the tutorial's old but I stand by these tips still. I've just refined (I hope lol) the way I draw hands now.
Feel free to use for practice.
Tip: do 10 hands for 20 days and you'll improve them for sure!
I used to have trouble drawing feet but after doing 100 of them, I got much better and faster at them. And don't forget, you have your very own reference right at your fingertips. Get it? Haha....sorry 😂

Hope you guys find this useful and have a good holiday 😄
#tutorial #hands #fbf

Edit: alright, I'm getting people telling me it's unfair for me to ask people for a vote so I'm taking my link down xD~ (and between you and me, I have a looot of votes lolol, thank you guys lots for helping 💕)

I'm still gonna keep this up though cause I don't want to be accused of stealing my own art again though xD~ tbh I mostly uploaded this cause I didn't want to get my entry taken down for stealing from myself lol xD;;

I don't usually do this but this is another version of my drawing which I've done as a submission for a game I've been kinda addicted to for the past half year 😆😆~
the prize isn't anything monetary, just some in-game currency. (There's more than one winner so yay xD)
I'd appreciate it so much if you guys could help and give me a vote 😆😭~~ thank you guys so much ;_;~💕
Sorry to bother you guys @-@;; I'll take this down later >.<;;~

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