Are you sick and tired of
1. Nights cuddled up on the couch watching romantic comedies alone?
2. Countless first dates staring across the table at someone not checking off one box on your checklist?
3. Searching for true love and only finding true “wtf is wrong with people”
If you answered “yes” to any and all of the above, look no further! I am a single, medium sized golden example of what True love can be. I offer you constant companionship while never judging you for your vices and promise to not see the extra snacks you sneak in when your tell me you’re on a diet. Swipe right and never look behind again at what you left. I am your new golden rule. —Bennie’s Tinder