princessofterror princessofterror

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Princess ♑  ΦSc: alexmoon15Φ ¤Artist in training¤ ΦKidd is chillΦ ¤Sleep is for the weak or sleep for a week¤ Φ18Φ ¤Sad but rad¤ ΦFFAΦ ¤Brandy🐼Pandy¤

'Cause I had the best of the worst sides
And I had these lungs
And I had too many flash fires
That I just let them burn 'Til my chest is on fire
And my head just won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I wanna
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't 'Cause I just feel so tired
Like it's move or slowly die
You say, you ain't you when you're like this,
This ain't you and you know it
But ain't that just the point?
You don't know
How to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below
And I'll never let you know
No, I can't tell you nothing 'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me 'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I wanted
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need 'Cause all I needed was some words to say
That all these feelings don't mean shit to me
'Cause it's all just chemicals anyway, anyway

And I got way too many routes to take
To make this all just go away
And find another heart to break
So heartless with the words I say
Just saying what I'm supposed to say
'Cause I had nothing for you
I can't love when I can't even love myself
Things I would rather be
Thoughts at the back of my head,
But I'm addicted to hurting
And I got these lungs
And I spent too many late nights
Just thinking a hole in the earth 'Til the sky is on fire
And my head still won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I want to
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't 'Cause I just feel so tired
Like I need something to come alive
She said, "You ain't you when you're like this,
This ain't you what you done?"
And I said, "That's the point." You don't know how to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below
And I'll never let you know
No I can't tell you nothing 'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me
'Cause I'm a fucking mess inside
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I wanted
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need

You asked what I see when I look in the mirror... A simple question more or less. I see me.
But obviously I'm not enough, let's look a little deeper.
I see judging eyes staring back at me, I see bumpy red skin and messy hair. I see chubby cheeks and asymmetrical flaws. I see layers upon layers of pale powder, making a mask. I see thick black liner and mascara, with unkempt brows. I see a large nose and thin lips, I see a large jaw and a long thin neck. I see broad shoulders leading to a lumpy, chubby body. Those judging eyes, pulled out every flaw I had on my body. They showed the flaws to my brain, burning the hate into it, making it a routine.
But those eyes, those bright green eyes saw more than just flaws. I see the sharp tongue, able to slice it's way through any conversation. I see bright green eyes as radiant as emeralds, shining in day and night. I see how the thickness of my thighs give my body definition, thick thighs and pretty eyes, a fitting quote.
Last but not least, I saw my face. Naked for the first time in years. The lake powder washed away, the red cheeks and flawed skin shown brightly in the pale ceiling light. "This is me." I would whisper.
And I realized, I am enough.