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plantifulsoul plantifulsoul

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claire michelle ☾  untethered being. finding my way... 🦋 the return:

https://youtu.be/d_V5JTXGFnI

i’ve lost track of time.
the days are dissolving together here.
blending into one lucid memory.
moments bathed in liquid gold.
bellies full of stories and lychees foraged from roadside trees.
waffle batter for breakfast.
barefoot rituals beneath lullaby rain.
feeding our curiosity with wildflower escapes. tracing through backyard coastlines.
discovering sanctuaries in lost spaces.
cradled by the wind spoken through the lungs of an eternal nirvana.
breathing in carelessness and lilac clouds. sunlight flickers lazily pouring through an open kitchen window.
falling in love with the taste of salt melting freckled skin.
collecting sand crumbs in sheets. and toes. and cars. and ears. and pretty much everything we touch.
icy swims followed by hot showers at dusk.
falling asleep beneath a blanket of stars. staying up too late. waking up too early.
and doing it all over again the next day.
ps: amelia, thank you for spontaneously giving me a refuge in your little mountain loft for the last week. i love you.

i no longer feel lonely.
when i first moved to this island, fear traced beneath my surface.
i questioned why i had chosen this.
to sacrifice all i had known for a one way ticket to a place i had never stepped foot in before.
i felt alone. isolated. aching for connection.
a few days ago, i crossed paths with these creatures.
and in a matter of seconds, strangers turned to sisters.
our connection was effortless.
time dissolved into nothingness.
oceans fell from our eyes as our lips told stories our spines do not have the strength to carry.
our whispers weakened our fears. tears turned wounds to wisdom.
we danced in the kitchen at 11 pm at night, bellies full of home cooked meals, muddy footprints scattered across the floor, hand whirling careless through air laced with the taste of basil. sweet and familiar beneath my tongue. warmth caressed muddy skin.
we found ourselves in lost places.
chasing waterfalls and lavender sunsets. collecting moments bathed in liquid gold.
feeding our curiosity with hand spun dreams.
i found a home in the arms of women who nurture their humility.
who are untamed. free. raw. messy. exposed.
unapologetically human. to be surrounded by women who are grounded. powerful. immeasurably strong, yet do not seek to compete…to rise above their sisters, is the most beautiful experience i have been engulfed within.
collectively, we are one. together, we are infinite.
ellen, your gentle nature softens the edges of those who do not yet know how to love.
your soft, fragile spirit, nurtures my own.
thank you. for everything.
if there is anything i know for sure, it is this. connection is everything.
it reminds us that we are alive.
i am overflowing.

to me, to be vegan means to love all creatures. to have compassion and extend kindness to every living being. including humans. i was not raised this way. i grew up eating milk and meat and cheese. grabbing burgers on the weekends with my friends, devouring ice cream at 2 am after late night grocery runs. though two years ago, a veil lifted. my eyes were opened to the unbearable truth of how animals are treated in food industry. i felt as though my heart had been shattered into a million little pieces. i have had an unshaken bond, a deeply rooted connection to these innocent creatures, since i was a child. animals had taught me how to be free. to play. to unconditionally forgive. to know that i had been contributing to their suffering in some way, broke me from the inside out. i resented myself for not knowing better, thus, i deflected my anger upon those who surrounded me. i distanced myself from my family, from close friends, who's beliefs did not parallel my own. but this pain, this fear...did nothing. in time, i softened. i came to see, that if i was consciously choosing not to harm the animals of this earth, how was my anger at other living beings, humans, justified? people who were raised the same way i was, to see this world how i used to. how could i be mad at them, for simply not being exposed to what i had, when truth is so heavily suppressed in our society?
to judge another, simply because they do not walk the same path your feet tread upon, only deepens the chasm of detachment, the illusion of separation, from one another.
i do not believe i am better than anyone, simply because i am vegan.
we are all doing the best we can, with what we know how to do.
intuitively, this is what i crave.
locally sourced fresh veggies.
tree ripened mangos. natural goodness, straight from the source.
veganism is not a catalyst of isolation.
the same air fills our lungs.
the same earth whirls beneath our feet.
let us not forget to love each other, as well. for we are all the same.
🦋🌏
i'm curious, how do you eat? are you vegan? have you been? what was your experience? i would love to start a conversation about this in the comments below. 🌿

this is my medicine.
skin to earth.

limbs cradled by a living refuge.
ears filled with lucid lullabies, whispered through the lungs of dusk.
the purrs and coos of nymphs and paws scampering across a forest floor cloaked in an amethyst glow.
curious golden eyes peering through the fading light.
ginger colored clouds gather along the horizon.
a collective exhale echoes softly through ancient treetops.
as though sighing one final breath as night descends.
their trunks have lived stories my lips will never have the strength to tell.
their roots carry a sense of ageless wisdom my body will never come to know.
as my eyes adjust to the darkening sky, i exhale.
blanketed in silence, i swear i can hear my heart beating against my chest.
its dull thuds escape its cage, and are swallowed in seconds by the air pressing in on all sides.
sweet and familiar, it tastes like lilac soil. bee pollen and dust.
a childhood memory, left untouched for years.
drinking in the stolen stillness, my movements become fluid.
illuminated by a single crescent, lingering in a crystalline sea emerging above my head.
milky stars flicker softly through the canopy, illuminating my footsteps below.
a moonrise kingdom rises from the ashes in my own backyard.
the magic hour…with a little backpack woven with cork and hand stitched with love. 🌿🐒🌿 @evecork thank you for creating a traveling sanctuary for foraged trail snacks and little postcards i draw all over. thank you for being kind to our furry friends. and all the creatures of the forests. our home, is theirs as well. 🌍

we are the ones they called careless, naive, and childish.
the artists. the rule breakers. the round pegs in square holes. the unapologetically untamed. the outcasts. the wild.
we may not have fancy letters etched next to our name.
we may not have huge houses or expensive cars.
our minds are filled with stories, rather than facts.
our life is our school.
this earth is our teacher.
we learn trust from the ocean.
forgiveness from the rain.
we chase fireflies across an indigo globe cradled in a sea of stars. eat takeout on the floor when there is a perfectly fine table in the other room and seem to never quite know what day of the week it is. we find home in the selfless hearts of strangers who carry our aching limbs for miles in the back of a pick up truck without asking for anything in return. our skin is the color of coffee and the bottoms of our feet are never not muddy. sand fills our unmade sheets. we hug trees, collect wildflowers, and bathe in the rain. we dance with two left feet and drink only from glasses that are half full. we answer questions with more questions. saltwater is our medicine. we heal wounds with the taste of tears and steal memories poured through lips at 2 am. we find ourselves falling in love, out of love, pretending to grow up. none of us really know what we're doing. where we're going. all we know for sure is...we are happy. we are alive. and this, is enough. 🦋@alliemichellel missin' my pisces soul sister a bit extra lately 🦋 come home to neverland soon sand fairy ✨💧🖖🏽🌏🕊🌈✨

as women, we have been stripped of our divinity.
our souls have been starved as we have been tamed.

as we have been broken.
collapsed into cages as the air is stolen from our own lungs.
we have become withered. numb. small.
we are portrayed as sex objects, yet to embody our own sexuality is perceived as inherently shameful.
as though the very skin we have been born into is wrong.
we have carved into creatures that are nearly unrecognizable.
fabricated illusions buried beneath masks.
manicured. barren. empty.
women who sit up straight and smile and suffocate their voice are called nice.
while women who choose to roar their truth are shunned.
we have abandoned with our humanity.
sacrificed sisterhood for enslavement.
our intuitive nature is neglected as we are taught to be ashamed of our desires.
cut off from our inner source, we are crushed beneath the weight of a story that is not ours to carry.
we have been lost…for so long.
though deep within each of us, is the woman we were placed here to become.
who knows who she is.
the instinctual thirst to return to our origins runs through our sweat, blood, and tears.
we hunger for her.
we ache to reawaken her wildness.
her ageless wisdom lingers in our bones.

her sacred truth runs through our tears, sweat, and blood.
she can be found in tangled hair.
the sheets where messy love is made.
she is the taste of sea salt on caramel skin.
her tears turn wounds to wildflowers.
her vessel is a seed trough which mountains have blossomed.

her body is a temple.
her womb breathes life into the formless.

she creates creation itself.

she is the ears for those who cannot hear.

feet for those who have lost their way

she is the voice for those who have no found their own.
unearth her. free her. embrace her.
she is whole. she is you.

"it is not by accident that the pristine wilderness of our planet disappears, as the understanding of our own inner wild nature fades." clarissa pinkola estes | women who run with wolves.

lost out here…i find myself.
my edges are weakened. fear descends. collapsed into the lungs of a living nirvana, i learn to breathe again.
i return.
i remember.
who i am.
no living creature in nature is self sustained.
nothing can survive in isolation.
every being depends upon the existence of countless other creatures.
they thrive in fluid coexistence with one another.
as should we.
though most of us, have forgotten.
we are taught not to feel. to be numb.
it is far easier to be controlled when you live in a state of abandoned awareness.
i am highly sensitive and i didn’t understand what this meant when i was younger, so never learned how to cope with it. in order to protect myself, i built walls to stay safe.
we are raised on the lie that vulnerability is a weakness. thus, sensitivity is suppressed to only further solidify the chasm of isolation between ourselves and others.
we feel achingly empty…void of emotion. thus, we lash out at one another. to feel something. to feel anything.
every trace of suffering upon this earth is a symptom of detachment perpetuated by a collective unconsciousness rooted in fear. we feel separate. from each other. from ourselves. and when you feel alone, you learn to place your power in the hands of this external illusion. in money. in materialistic ideals. in consumption…feeding into systematic enslavement at the cost of your own life.
we are racing and climbing and spinning through a whirlpool of consumerism, though none of us are really going anywhere.
swallowed into this illusion of isolation, we have lost touched with an eternal truth which lingers in all living beings.
that when you expand to encompass unity with everything that is, you can no longer be controlled.
fish are given water to swim through.
birds are given air.
and we are given each other.
connection is our birthright.
it is human nature to feel.
it reminds us that we are alive.
this is the cure.
when you can see your reflection in the eyes of every living creature….fear descends.
it can no longer touch you.
for there is no you to be touched.
for you are everywhere.
you are all that is.
you are not alone.
none of us are.
we are one.

oh, hello there. 🐒🌴for those of you who may just now be joining this little family, i thought i could share a little bit about me. this human, called claire.
1. i was born at home. zero meds. one midwife. on purpose. my mom is a goddess warrior. i hope to be half the badass she is someday.
2. growing up, i went a waldorf school. we baked bread and sang lullabies and built fairy houses. there was no such thing as homework or grades. i believed in magic. still do.
3. i have never been vaccinated. ever.
4. i used to hate everything about my body. i didn’t like my elfish nose or lanky limbs or how i was heads taller than every boy i had a crush on. junior year, i developed anorexia. consumed by control, i split sticks of gum in half and ate less than 300 calories a day for months. in time, i healed. i am an eating disorder survivor.
5. i am 5’ 9” + three quarters, to be exact.
6. salt water cures all. crying is beautiful. shower crying is even better.
7. choosing not to go to college was singlehandedly the best decision of my life. after one year in this world, i have learned more than 18 spent sitting in a classroom. sacrifice certainty for freedom. question everything.
8. i am what some may call highly idealistic, or indecisively illogical. a few months ago, my spontaneous nature bought me a one way ticket to hawaii with no plan. i have found myself here. creating art for a living. an alchemist of intuition, making life up as i go along.
9. out of the blue, a little grey cat moved in with me. he chases lizards across countertops and cuddles my toes at night. i love him.
10. i just found out i am allergic to gluten and almonds. my favorite food on earth is almond butter toast. life goes on.
11. i can’t remember the last time i wore a bra. or shoes. lucky for me, this is socially acceptable in hawaii.
12. unlucky for me, barefoot life isn’t all its cut out to be. a few days ago, a scorpion was a bit too friendly. one sting, one swollen ankle, and heaps of antibiotics later, here I am. perhaps it is time to be a regular human and buy shoes, as i currently own none.
13. someday, i will write a book. until then, i will write novels for instagram captions.

at times, it can feel nearly paralyzing to know so many of you look up to me. i am still human. my life is messy. i am messy. i still cry and feel all the things that you do and eat entire jars of almond butter at 12 am when i know i shouldn't. i still self sabotage. i still doubt myself and my own inner strength, at times. sometimes i look in the mirror and still pick apart my reflection, forgetting that i am not this body. i still listen to voices that are not my own and carry stories my lips do not yet have the courage to tell. i still make mistakes. hundreds, each day. and this is okay. we are all still learning, after all. sometimes, life is sunshine and rainbows and fairy dust and unicorns and sometimes it is a fucking hurricane that steals the breath from your own lungs and shatters your existence into a million tiny pieces. both are ok. you need one, to feel the other. we are taught that our negative emotions are shameful, so they become buried beneath forced "i'm fine" whispers and false happy faces. through suppressing what is not as easily accepted, we are swallowed into an achingly empty chasm of isolation...feeling as though there is something wrong with us, surrounded by those who seem to have it all together. this world only becomes a scary place when you feel as though you are alone within it. i want you to know...you are not alone. i have not forgotten you. these past few days have not been easy. in moving here...to kauai, i have felt quite lonely. though i have met the most kind, gentle souls since arriving on this little island...i still do not have a soul family here, to collapse into. i have a tendency to withdraw, to pull away from social media when i am feeling these not so nice things. but something told me i needed to share this. perhaps my wounds will nurture your own. perhaps my story can be of solace for you. i am right here, growing alongside you. it is human nature to feel. it reminds us that we are alive. that we are not alone, on this pale blue dot we call home. this earth still turns. and we will heal and breathe again. i love you, and your broken pieces. you are always whole, in my eyes.

those who call this place home are gentle. their spirits are soft and their eyes are kind. their language is compassion. smiles exchanged in local markets. stories spoken through the lungs of strangers who soon become family. they live simply and have very little...though they are full of love, and never seem to lack anything as a result. yesterday, i found myself borrowing a little suzuki from a kind human who's instruction upon lending it to me were, "it's parked just across from the light blue mailbox, it's unlocked, and the keys are in the ignition." i hadn't driven a car in nearly a year. i had forgotten this feeling. how beautiful it is...to be free. the taste of carelessness lingering beneath my tongue. tires trembling across pavement stretching endlessly before me. acoustic notes trickling softly through a rusted stereo...blending with the rivers of salty air pouring in from an open window...tendrils of hair whirling in all directions. coastline emerged in the distance, and i found myself pulling over to listen...for a while. the lavender flicker of light whispering through the trees. calling me home. i watched as children scampered along the shoreline...wild eyed and barefoot. sunlight melting beneath freckled skin. drinking in the sweet nectar of lucidity. playing hide and seek beneath the waves of their backyard. creatures of dusk...chasing magic in the soft glow of lunar lullabies. i saw my reflection in their ocean eyes. cradled in the gentle embrace of an imagination left untouched by this world. lost within a dream they have not yet been taught to abandon. i wish to be like that. when i grow up, someday. a child again.

and one day, she chose herself.

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