padmadharmata padmadharmata

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Padma Dharmata  🔞 Erotic Artist • Yogi • Graphic Designer • Author ✨ Minimalist 🍃 Sexuality & Love Activist 🍑 Undefinable 👽 Autobiography in Progress 📖

“To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetime is largely irrelevant. What we must do therefore is to strive and persevere and never give up.” - Dalai Lama XIV
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Photo circa 2013.

From time to time, I go through a period of public silence. Social media blackout. It’s not intentional—I actually don’t notice that I’m doing it, for awhile at least. I just silently creep up onto a time that I have nothing to share, and feel too vulnerable to open up to the public en masse. Some days, I think I have something to share with the world, and other days, I don’t know who I am or why on earth I have business opening up to the public, in the first place. On those days, I consider shutting down my profiles and websites, and disappearing altogether. My mind questions my validity in this life, especially in being a public figure, even if mostly underground. I continuously question what do I even have to offer? (Nothing at all, honestly.) My mind even attempts to make me think I’m off my rocker (or going off the rails of the crazy train, which I’ll never deny), but yet I see this pattern of vulnerability in others, as well, and I can’t discredit myself so quickly.
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Ninja (of Die Antwoord) completely deleted his social media’s and hasn’t returned.
Radiohead, for a period, blacked out their accounts and website, and even upon return has deleted all old posts.
Nick Wilsher disappears for months at a time.
Britney Spears shaved her head and completely revolted against the expected.
Ben Jay Crossman ghosts his audience regularly.
And so many more...
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I don’t compare myself to any of these people, in the least, but at least my observations go to show me that there are many others that feel similar ways about social media at times—in it can be my success and growth, but also at times it can be my undoing. As an empath, I greatly take on the negative and vampirous energies of those who take the liberty to rip any human being apart via social media (meaning myself) by the threads of the soul, whether for good reason or not. Sometimes by my family, sometimes by my followers—however few—and it lends to a great removal of my energy from this space. Should the masses be punished for the wrongs of a few? In a perfect world, no. But in this season, perhaps even if just for a day, I don’t have anything to present to you.
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(Continued in comments)

I’m in a bit of a quiet period of time—but you’ll be hearing lots from me soon. ❤️ Just be who you are.

My fans make my heart so happy! Even if I’m not able to respond individually (I get a LOT of messages, but I try to respond to as many as I can), know that I read each and every one, and you guys are as amazing as you believe me to be! ❤️❤️❤️ Much love! Padma

It’s easy to be happy when life is great, and things are going our way! But the true test of knowing your inner happiness and peace...is when life isn’t so sparkly and bubblegummy! When shit gets real, is your happiness still there? 👁
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#happiness #innerpeace

Just another day in paradise. #goddess #addmeonsnapchat SC: padmalove

Many pray for their friends and family (and even the world) in such a way that they’re begging their god to “save” their loved ones from their seeming “evil ways”—not realizing that in so doing, they are inflicting judgment and condemnation on those they claim to love. They’re sending curses and vibes of “live your life the way that I do, or in a way that I approve of”, taking the role of “god” in deciding what is right or wrong for another. Instead, regardless of what religion or what god or list of rules we choose to follow, we should always openly pray in the manner of “let their life be blessed and full of abundance, and may they find happiness and truth—regardless of what I, my self, may choose to follow”. {Not my will, but thine be done.} ❤️ - Padma Dharmata

Sometimes, life changes are hard, and transitions are challenging as fuck. Sometimes it might seem like it’s going to kill you... But just keep breathing and know that the sun rises every day, no matter what, and before you know it, that transition will be complete, and you’ll be standing on the top of that very large and beautiful mountain—and you’ll see how very necessary the hard times were, if only to develop your inner perseverance, to keep pushing until your heart unfolds... ❤️✨

I’m one of the happiest people I know...and it’s probably because I allow myself to break down from time to time...

Death. It’s interesting. Provoking. That one word holds such great mystery to all mankind. Some see it as vicious and ugly—a bitter fate to run from, or something to solve. Others see it as an inevitable end, whether happy or sad. And others see it as an old friend, beckoning for companionship. An end to all pain and problems. A veil into the unknown—to some afterlife or interim-life that only those who can’t come back can actually know. One moment, you’re here in this body—laughing, crying, breathing. Living. Blood in your veins. And in some other moment: poof. The breath is gone and the body stops. Some see it coming, while most never do. The body decays, and yet the soul still goes on. It’s terrifying to the human mind—the not knowing. The lack of control. The inconvenience of it all. The untimeliness. Incomprehensible to the brain. Not to mention the tragedy and sadness of watching a loved one pass before our very eyes. But only the mind worries. Only the mind battles with fear—and there’s something beyond the mind and what bit of unease there may or may not be. If we can just be still and silent for a moment long enough to feel and hear beyond the mind—what is it? It quite literally is a stillness of the heart. A deep peace. Our higher self or truth. Some call this God. Some call it Self. Awareness. Universe, or Ultimate Being. Nothingness. I Am. Allah. Shiva. Whatever word can be placed on it—it doesn’t change the reality of what it is. And when we feel that peace, and we stay with that peace, all else comes to be just as it should—in regards to death and dying, or even in life itself. We become so afraid in facing our end, our demise—or the demise of others—but perhaps we’ve never thought to realize that it may be a beginning...and perhaps this current life is just a stepping stone, our death a graduation... Of course we miss our loved ones, our friends and partners—but again, if we rest our selves in that quiet space, there’s not a thing that can take us from being at ease with life’s transitions, however challenging they may be. All we find is a stillness of the heart, a deep love for what may be.

Constistency is the biggest trap in this life. No one is consistent naturally. I’ve learned this deeply and greatly in my life roles and careers in the public—first as a daughter and a friend and a wife, then as a mystic and a yoga icon, and then as a porn star. Most people don’t *really* want anyone to change—especially when they love the current role of said person. The same performance is desired over and over, and when the role changes (because, let’s face it: naturally, we evolve every day), it’s an upheaval of disappointment, and even fury. “You changed! You’re not who I thought you were!” No, I’m not, because I’m an evolving existence, and my life is to travel this journey, even if it ends up as a public image suicide. I’d rather kill my image and projected persona and be who I am, than to be “consistent” and stable, and give the presumed audience what is wanted and expected. That audience may or may not be there tomorrow—but I still have to live with who I am. I still have to live my heart and my truth. And even if I kept giving this desired performance, eventually the audience would fall away because I became boring and monotonous—I never changed things up enough. Seems like the audience has unrealistic expectations that I never asked for. I never wanted opinions on my life story. I just want to express my life. ✨

Today is transition day. ✨

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