Instagram post by @carrieannemoss Carrie-Anne Moss

#Repost @theconsciouskid
・・・
"More than screen-obsessed young children, we should be concerned about tuned-out parents. The engagement between parent and child is increasingly low-quality. Parents are constantly present in their children’s lives physically, but they are less emotionally attuned. For all the talk about children’s #screentime, surprisingly little attention is paid to screen use by parents themselves, who now suffer from what the technology expert Linda Stone more than 20 years ago called “continuous partial attention.” Occasional parental inattention is not catastrophic (and may even build resilience), but chronic distraction is another story. Smartphone use has been associated with a familiar sign of addiction: Distracted adults grow irritable when their phone use is interrupted; they not only miss emotional cues but actually misread them. A tuned-out parent may be quicker to anger than an engaged one, assuming that a child is trying to be manipulative when, in reality, she just wants attention. Short, deliberate separations can of course be harmless, even healthy, for parent and child alike (especially as children get older and require more independence). But that sort of separation is different from the inattention that occurs when a parent is with a child but communicating through his or her nonengagement that the child is less valuable than an email.
Of course, adults are also suffering from the current arrangement. Many have built their daily life around the miserable premise that they can always be on—always working, always parenting, always available to their spouse and their own parents and anyone else who might need them, while also staying on top of the news, while also remembering, on the walk to the car, to order more toilet paper from Amazon.
If we can get a grip on our “technoference,” as some psychologists have called it, we are likely to find that we can do much more for our children simply by doing less—regardless of the quality of their schooling and quite apart from the number of hours we devote to them. Parents should give themselves permission to back off from the suffocating pressure to be all things to all people." (Full

97 Comments

  • 3w ago nileoh nileoh

    @leanneby

  • 3w ago tagea.sb22 tagea.sb22

    @dratag

  • 3w ago monjo7474 monjo7474

    @sandrakrasowski would never judge for a few mins,this is days & days of watching them & kids doing wat they pls & other parents having 2 step in,Ive been a single parent with 2 & they’re special needs,so I know all about no time for myself!

  • 3w ago hylasgeist hylasgeist

    @kimmyedith it's all about balance. What do people want? As soon as humans become parents, for them to throw their phones in a police amnesty bin because by having kids we gave up our right to be connected with people and the world online?

  • 3w ago ddhughes13 ddhughes13

    There is no more tribe. That was the binding of our importance. We are all looking for our tribe... Years ago I found AP Living. What a tribe you have created. Thank you for sharing this topic that is so hard to wrap limits around.

  • 3w ago lizmasucci lizmasucci

    @crazyvlad

  • 3w ago ananthjames ananthjames

    👏👏👍😀

  • 3w ago slebnamechains slebnamechains

    Who made this collage? It’s great

  • 3w ago momswearheels momswearheels

    🙏🙏🙏

  • 3w ago dose.of.deo dose.of.deo

    @memo_orozco

  • 3w ago kaseymathews kaseymathews

    Really looking forward to reading this. Thank you.

  • 3w ago robson_junior robson_junior

    @ellenguimares

  • 3w ago sk8rgrl83 sk8rgrl83

    I once saw a mom actually hit her son multiple times because he was interrupting her smartphone use. It was one of the most tragic things I’ve ever seen, because it was obvious that the boy loved her and just wanted her to love him more than she loved her phone.

  • 3w ago fslaoui fslaoui

    @jana_roemer I agree with both! Conscious parenting means checking in with all that we do. 💞💫

  • 3w ago fslaoui fslaoui

    Thanks for posting and bringing these issues to it attention 🙏🏼

  • 3w ago happy.devi happy.devi

    🤢

  • 3w ago hubbs11 hubbs11

    Hard but necessary read!

  • 3w ago linzschnell linzschnell

    @leschnell

  • 2w ago claire_victoria_nails claire_victoria_nails

    Permission to back off from the suffocating pressure to be all things to all people....i needed to see this today. Ive been more than burning the candle at both ends. It feels like my candle has a milliona ends lately and no mattee what i do im always failing at something....

  • 2w ago grand.prismatic grand.prismatic

    Agreed. But let’s also understand this is happening as a result of the isolation that many, especially moms, are forced to deal with on their own. Stay at home moms especially that spend long amounts of time with small children and very few to hardly any adults. See a mom at the park on her phone all the time? Yeah, I used to and sometimes I’m sure people watched me do the same. Judgement doesn’t get us anywhere tho so check your self righteousness and send the mom some love instead, OR strike up a conversation b/c heavy phone users more than likely would love more interaction in their lives!

  • 2w ago ellenguimares ellenguimares

    @robson_junior Quero ter mto cuidado em relação a isso, para que a tecnologia não substitua a presença.

  • 2w ago tammygissell tammygissell

    ⚡️👏🏽⚡️

  • 2w ago elizabeth_flutterandsprout elizabeth_flutterandsprout

    This is a good reminder, but this kind of parental distraction isn’t limited to phone use. I’ve seen moms get irrationally angry with their kids for interrupting their reading, knitting, or adult conversations.

  • 2w ago iam_mrsh iam_mrsh

    @devaldava

  • 2w ago ena_whiteraven ena_whiteraven

    Yes!!! Thank you, @carrieannemoss !

  • 2w ago karenpallisgaard karenpallisgaard

    @blackbird_institute 🙌🏻

  • 2w ago karenpallisgaard karenpallisgaard

    @drovergaard

  • 2w ago karenpallisgaard karenpallisgaard

    @loopland 👊🏻

  • 2w ago herbeliefnaturopathy herbeliefnaturopathy

    👏👏👏

  • 2w ago mon0m3 mon0m3

    Where is the full article to read please? Thanks Carrieannemoss

  • 2w ago atiekeb atiekeb

    @paigebell595

  • 2w ago jaijagdeesh jaijagdeesh

    Wow. This. So many truth bells.

  • 2w ago yesmommyonce yesmommyonce

    So sad and true

  • 2w ago deweyweber63 deweyweber63

    Moment App tracks your usage.

  • 2w ago freshdh freshdh

    @dougswife_thern

  • 2w ago sk8rgrl83 sk8rgrl83

    @deweyweber63 the idea of using an app to reduce my use of apps seems ironic.

  • 2w ago anakce anakce

    @labombonbc @dacaes food for thought!

  • 1w ago kathydornan kathydornan

    So true. I experience and observe distracted everything. The relief I feel from a full conversation or time away from screens and apps is beautiful. Bring back presence.
    Thanks for this post. 🙏💜

  • 1w ago sixdayz_riq sixdayz_riq

    Wrddd🏆💯💯💯

  • 1w ago beautybydrcat beautybydrcat

    Thank you for this! My thoughts exactly ❤️❤️❤️

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