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Instagram post by @thejoywarrior rosemary

I've been quiet doing just this. Starting in Nov. of 2013, I began the process of fixing my smile. I had chosen to finally get veneers on 7 of my front top teeth. I had a dead tooth that forever made me feel ashamed of my smile. And I had so much to be smiling about- almost my first full year of recovery was coming up. Choosing joy was in my bones. Life was good-ish.
Many mistakes were made. Nerves were left exposed. Five months past w agony & my dentist making me feel like a pain in the ass. A 2nd opinion revealing finally that things were horribly f😩cked. Second opinion had to file down & remove Dr. KillJoy's work. It was an excruciating process. Five hour appointments. The whole ordeal lasted almost 9 months. Finally a beautiful smile. One month later, I was diagnosed w #trigeminalneuralgia & the most severe pain I had ever known. That was Sept. 2014. In Feb. 2015, I was having my first brain surgery.
I made up my mind that I would never ever never go to the dentist again. I couldn't. I wouldn't.
Last week, I started having severe pain in 1 of my top molars on my feeling side. And as I raised my hand for help, I was terrified. I had also been up for several nights & was drowning in fbombs.
Three years out of a dental chair, I no longer had a dentist. And I had zero clue where to begin. Fear makes things feel so much worse. And the thought of anyone touching my mouth at all made me sick. I don't think I've even written to you that I cannot even bear kissing my hubby anymore. Looming over me was fear. Filling up all of the extra spaces in my body was fear.
Enter my mother-in-love. A.K.A- Mommy, in-case-of-emergency, my person. You get it. Father-in-love insisted his dentist was our go-to. He was exactly right. And @mama2macnmav had sent Angels.
Fear has always, all ways, trumped all of the things. And yet, joy & God & Angels & in-loves & 3 ladies in a dentist office trumped fear. And yesterday, I had surgery to remove a tooth. I'm sleeping a lot w meds bc it's too much pain to be awake for. My mouth & God's masterpiece are not in alignment. No tooth fairy came. Most importantly, 3 years later, I trumped fear. I did it anyway. #Joywarrior

21 Comments

  • 8w ago ecewing ecewing

    You are doing all the hard work every single minute. I hope you find some relief in sleep and in having that tooth gone. I'm so sorry you had extra pain on top of your constant pain. Sending you hugs and love and fbombs bc those always make me feel better.

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    #andsoichoosejoy#thisonelife#truth#doitanyway#badass#warriors#dentist#anxiety#reallifegoals#fearless#choosejoy#loveyourtribe#weareokay#andyet#grace#isurvived#beloved#wecandohardthings#faceyourfears #iloveus

  • 8w ago karmaknitslove karmaknitslove

    Massive virtual hugs πŸ’–πŸ’œπŸ’™πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’–

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    #ittakesavillage#teetharenotneat#wegotthis#handledit#stillmoretocome

  • 8w ago mama2macnmav mama2macnmav

    Left foot, right foot, breathe. YOU DID IT! πŸ‘ Victory dance #1! πŸ’ƒ We are proud of you!! And, now, it hurts. πŸ˜“ Ouchity, ouch, ouch! Fbomb galore! And finding relief is not easy. 😭. Sending love and more virtual hugs and angels... πŸ˜˜πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž.

  • 8w ago marieizzi marieizzi

    One of my favorite reads, β€œFeel the Fear, And do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, PhD

  • 8w ago amyparent406 amyparent406

    I am sending you Ginormous Love, blessings and hugs from the 4-oh-6β€οΈπŸ€—

  • 8w ago bearclaw4 bearclaw4

    Dentist stuff sucks! Pain sucks! I'm so sorry!!

  • 8w ago leanatalbott leanatalbott

    You are brave and strong! And we learn that even more when we choose to do it afraid. So much love, high fives and (gentle) hugs to you!

  • 8w ago embracing_my_wings embracing_my_wings

    You earned those f bombs, that was fucking brave! Brave to give yourself beautiful teeth (no small thing I know. My hubby had everything removed and wears full dentures now), but even braver to go back after everything. Rest your warrior self. Have some more f bombs. You are doing so well. You are so loved and you are so safe. πŸ˜˜πŸ’žβ€

  • 8w ago momof_s_e momof_s_e

    Sometimes it’s the f-bombs that get us thru. You are amazing and brave and an inspiration. ❀️

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @karmaknitslove Sending massive hugs right back to you! πŸ’™πŸ˜πŸ˜˜

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @mama2macnmav I did it. And I had my Angels with me. You're one of my Angels. I feel that. Finding comfort in my mouth is hard. The local anesthesia has set off the trigeminal side of my face for some reason. Practicing self care. Self love. And hugging you tight! πŸ’™

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @marieizzi I'm thinking I should read that. πŸ˜‰

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @amyparent406 All of that and more coming to you from the 5-oh-2!! 😘

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @bearclaw4 I've always hated all things dental. My mouth is a mess. Crazy roots, tiny mouth- all things fuckery! πŸ˜‰

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @leanatalbott Thanks Darlin. And I was so blessed to have my mother-in-love with me every single step of the way. Many more steps to come in the dental chair. High five and gentle hugs coming right to you! πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‰

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @embracing_my_wings Doing brave things make me so sick to my stomach. I'm staying ahead of the pain from the pull. The scary part now is having so many shocks on my trigeminal side. I'm resting it out and self-loving the hell out of my self. And with my mother-in-love right by my side, I feel very safeπŸ’™πŸ˜˜πŸ˜

  • 8w ago thejoywarrior thejoywarrior

    @momof_s_e Lots of fbombs. And my mother-in-love drops them for and with me and that is great comfort! Sending love to you!

  • 8w ago nurturingnewfamilies nurturingnewfamilies

    Your mother in law sounds fabulous. 😘

  • 7w ago j.baehrel j.baehrel

    So proud of you and I don't like going to the dentist either! I go but through white knuckles holding on tight to the chair. πŸ˜€

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