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one_strong_mutha one_strong_mutha

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🆁🅴🅱🅴🅲🅲🅰  Mutha. Survivor. Warrior. Never apologise for being a strong woman. #Mentalhealth #infertility #bipolar #endometriosis advocate.

Here’s goes everything! So we stopped breastfeeding for this course of treatment and it’s one of the only medications left for me to try. I am pinning so much hope on this medication and really want it to help stabilise my moods and prevent any serious crisis in the future. It comes with risks, some quite serious and others that I think I could cope with; but I need to try if not for me, then for my son and husband. To keep me safe and healthy and ready for my hysterectomy. I don’t for one minute think my mental health won’t falter after the life changing surgery, I know it will affect me in a quite negative way no matter how positive I try and stay this is something I never wanted to happen. I never wanted to lose my ability to carry and birth another child, but I am and I will deal with it and hoping the Lithium therapy will really help me cope with everything. Also today I got referred to the Skin Cancer Clinic. Turns out my “dodgy” moles I have been ever so slightly concerned about for a few months/years and one huge new mole have my doctor worried too. He thinks it’s a strong possibility I have melanoma, weirdly I am not scared of this being a diagnosis and the treatment; the Lithium therapy terrifies me more. I will see a specialist in the next two weeks and find out what’s the plan for this yucky little brown blobs on my skin. I have a lot - probably over 100 😏 so my odds apparently are pretty high of melanomas and I abused sunbeds a little too much as a teen. We live and learn I guess and hopefully if there is a little cancer lurking it will be swiftly removed and that will be that. I intend on documenting my journey with Lithium through my blog. Will probably post daily to start with and then little weekly updates as I get “use to it” and my levels stabilise. #lithiumtherapy #bipolar #bipolaraffectivedisorder #bpad #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #endometriosis #adenomyosis #hysterectomy #cancer #skincancer #melanoma

Odd socks and stripes. Showing our support for #worlddownsyndromeday #wdsd #oddsocks #stripes #toddlerlife #wouldntchangeathing

V is for Village. @mumologist has created a platform and a great hashtag to get us raising awareness about our “villages” and who saves our days. Whether they be IRL or on these pixelated squares, friendships can be formed. “It takes a village to raise a baby” and girl don’t we know it, it’s lovely for Mums to talk about how their village helped them. We feel that pressure every day and I didn’t and don’t really have a village. I have me, me and my husband when he isn’t working ridiculously long hours. Even after my horrific birth and c section we didn’t have troops of family and friends buzzing round to help. It was me and Ravi day in day out. It was hard, first time mum, mental health crisis and a whole heap of pain to navigate by myself. I didn’t go to baby classes and meet ups for a few months because I couldn’t physically carry the baby and the buggy down the stairs. I didn’t get a car until the summer, so we were stranded quite often. When I finally had the mental well-being to visit Baby Sensory and swim groups, the mum’s had already made their friends, their cliques were already formed. It didn’t help I often felt too low to branch out and throw myself out into social circles. Now we are at a point where I would kill to socialise we are slightly left behind, most parents we know are on to their second or third pregnancy, that just isn’t where we are at, our family is complete whether we like it or not. So I am all for the village of support and I will always support others who are in need, but it certainly hasn’t been anything other than a very lonely journey of parenting for us to date. I would go as far to say that it’s been so isolating and lonely, we haven’t been on a date at all, not afternoons together or evenings away or out in the 27 months of parenthood that even if we could do it again, I don’t think we would or even could cope. I have found some great connections on IG though and a few wonderful people who get me. 😘 #ittakesavillage #parenting #novillage #lonely #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bipolar #psychosis #delusions #paranoia #mentalbreakdown #depression #endometriosis #birthtrauma #viisforvillage #visalsoforvictory

I only went upstairs to put on a pair of jeans and grab Roo an outfit as I have psychiatry appointment this afternoon. 😂 Have to laugh otherwise I might cry. When does it get easier? I phoned up to check the date of my hysterectomy this morning and a good job I did, they told me apparently I didn’t attend 3 appointments so I have been referred back to my GP and off the waiting list. Truth is I missed two, but I called both times to say I couldn’t attend my pre op and I have a pre op booked for Monday. Anyway I managed to prove my “story” and got myself back in on the waiting list. Still looking at May/June time, dependent on NHS bed spaces and emergencies of course. It can’t come soon enough. I see a pregnancy announcement most days now and they have stopped stinging quite so much. I still feel a little cross with the world, but I am more cross with the pain and the suffering every bloody day of my life. #bipolar #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #psychiatry #motherhood #muthahood #onestrongmutha #toddlerlife #toddlersofinstagram #mess #gah #pain #chronicpain #hysterectomy #endometriosis #adenomyosis

Really enjoying learning to weave. It’s expensive and time consuming but it’s also nice to have a little focus and something to help me unwind before I head up to bed. Crafting really does help with my mental health and I wish I had found it sooner. If you fancy trying to weave apparently you can make a loom from stiff cardboard and any cheap yarn will do to practice. #crafts #craft #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #bipolar #maternalmentalhealth #relxation #weave #weaving #loom #yarn #cotton

A much needed dose of sun on my feed! Ravi and I love spring and summer, actual rays of sun and warm beaches. It’s our happy time of year, I want to plan lots more fun days out this year and a few more beach trips should the sun decide to play. #happy #sun #sad #onestrongmutha #toddlerlife #toddlersofinstagram #beach #baby #sandytoesandsaltykisses

Set up a little account @one_crafty_mutha for my crafting makes. I hope to make more time for things I love and with my hysterectomy coming up I would really like to use the down time to make somethings for the house; won’t lie, it’s not good, I am rubbish at anything creative. My mind seems to imagine wonderful things and my hands just can’t do it but it’s a little sanctuary as although I am rubbish I enjoy it and find it really relaxing. My next adventure is weaving, come take a look if you too are crafty, would love some ideas and to share makes. #crafts #crafting #weaving #crochet #embroidery #sewing #stitching #onecraftymutha #onestrongmutha

Mmmm. Because my face looks like shit, Ravi is snotty and grumpy so leeks it is 😂💚

No roast dinner for us today, as it’s only me who likes it anyway. A winter vegetable risotto instead. I really enjoy making this for Roo, so I am unleashing my newly found risotto skills on the whole family tonight! I am super excited because every time I taste Roo’s I always wish I had made more for my dinner. It’s the most simple recipe which I kind of make up as I go using my very basic knowledge of cooking - I prefer the taste of shallots to a strong onion in this recipe, makes it a little sweeter and as I don’t add salt to anything I cook they seem to provide a balance of the flavours. Butternut squash cut into 1cm dices, 2 cups full is plenty for two adults and a couple of kids (I will save some for roo’s dinner tomorrow) sprayed with some oil and baked in the oven on about 160 for about 20 minutes - until soft and starting to brown as it will give off a delicious rich flavour (you can buy ready-chopped frozen and it’s just as good). So 3 shallots, 2 leeks both chopped into small pieces, 2 cloves of garlic, a good lug of olive oil, cook slowly until translucent (don’t burn it), stir through your risotto rice (I use about 2 small cups full) coating with all the remaining oil (this makes it glossy / took me 4-5 attempts to realise this), stir for a minute and then add your vegetable stock (make as per packet that should provide enough add half a pint to start and keep topping up as it reduces always use a little extra water if not enough) once the risotto is nearly at its desired bite, stir through the roasted butternut squash add a tiny bit more stock and then serve with Parmesan (if not vegan) and I will serve with some garlic bread for the boys and Roo loves sweetcorn, so I boil a cob for him as well. #yum #dinner #risotto #homemade #onestrongmutha #vegan #vegetarian #glutenfree

Hopefully we can build a snowman today ⛄️ #snow #spring #onestrongmutha #toddlerlife #toddlersofinstagram

What a night! My heart most definitely broke tonight, my poor boy. He went up to bed as usual, hubby and I were just watching Eastenders and getting ready to go to bed when he woke, calling Mama as usual. I went up settled him and back down he went, then within minutes, no sooner had I sat back down a cry came out of the monitor. At first a burst like he was having a nightmare and then a high pitched screech. A scream of pain! I ran up the stairs burst into his room to find him hanging out of the cotbed by his ankle. (Head on the floor, ankle stuck between the bars twisted round where he was struggling). With one arm I grabbed his head and the other I wiggled his foot free whilst screaming for my husband at the top of my terrified voice. Luckily nothing broken, maybe slightly sore but he is walking with no pain and it looks ok. It’s taken me 30 minutes to stop shaking! He hasn’t ever had a problem with his bed or the bars. We are now all wide awake watching Peppa pig downstairs, needless to say he is sleeping in with us tonight. 😢 My poor boy. On a good note though Roo has 6 new words in the last 24 hours, I couldn’t be any more proud and overjoyed he has found his voice. Gandad, Ba (grandma in Gujarati), don’t go, shiny, bubbles, mine and he has perfected Smitty! Gushing Mutha right here and I haven’t been able to get a word in all day, which is just magical. 😍❤️ #speechdelay #toddlerlife #toddlersofinstagram #emmabridgewater #latenight #trauma #muthahood #onestrongmutha #love #proudmutha

My FIL made some red velvet cupcakes for us (they bring cake every Friday) so it would be terribly rude of me not to try one 😋 This is why I am fat still (okay not the only reason), every Friday they bring home cooked curry’s/Indian dishes or other yummy meals like moussaka and cakes or flapjacks/pies. I go to work and come home to loads of goodies and a happy Roo and hubby. Not surprisingly Roo can say Cake as one of his few words, but also last night he said SHINY - if you know, you know!! #onestrongmutha #piglet #yummy #cake #toddlerlife #moana #shiny

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