ok.brxken ok.brxken

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  why does it feel so impossible to let you go

isn't it weird
how you can go from being everything
to nothing in the blink of a ignored text message

you can talk for months straight
maybe even years
about everything and nothing

you can know more about each other
than anyone has ever known before
and then one day
she decide it's enough
and she stops replying
and she stops trying
and it's just over

no words to break it off
no heartfelt goodbyes
just a bunch of broken promises
and stories that will never find their endings
it's just cut off
and she goes on with her life
like nothing between you two
existed

and 5 months later
you're still heartbroken
still hurting
but she never even bothered to look back

"Learning to be okay without her is weird.
I swear I'll be fine for weeks,
but one morning I'll wake up
and my heart feels so heavy for no reason at all.
And I feel like I lost her all over again.
It's just hard, you know?
Thinking you're making all this progress only for it to be ruined when you see someone else brush their hair out of their eyes the same way she used to.
One little thing and bam-
You start thinking that you'll never be able to love without hearing her laugh ever again."

"I'll never fully forget you, it's been three months and I still replay in my head before I go to bed the time where I happened to glance over and and see a smile spread wide across your face. I replay the time you first laced your fingers between mine, I replayed the first time our lips touched and I replay every single detail of us over and over and over again because I'm afraid to let go, I'm afraid to lose you for good. -it's been three months and I still fucking talk about you like you're still here and you still love me."

"It hurt when I stumbled across her,
she was like broken glass all along the floor.
It was beautiful and my curiosity got the best of me.
I remember looking at her and all I could see was pain.
She has this insane look of desperation; you could almost feel it.
Yet her eyes were still hollow; like the life had been sucked out of her.
I wanted to pick up her pieces.
I wanted to put her back together.
So I tried, I really did.
I got a little cut along the way.
The more I tried to fix her, the more fragile I became myself but I didn't care.
I wanted to see her happy.
Every time I made her laugh, I thought about how I wanted to make her laugh forever.
She was getting better.
Eventually, she was put together enough to get up and walk away.
But, she didn't take me with her
and I've been stuck sitting here where I first found her
wondering if the pieces on the floor are hers or mine.
I should probably get the fuck up."

"Don't be selfish.
If you do not love the way her hair curls at the ends or her nose wrinkles when she laughs, then let her go.
If you don't see her as a fucking masterpiece then let her go, because someone else will.
Don't be selfish.
If you don't love the way she sneezes or the way she dribbles the toothpaste down her chin when she brushes her teeth, then let her go.
If your heart doesn't almost beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is her soundly sleeping on your shoulder. Someone else would kill for that.
Being with someone when you know you don't love them is cruel. It's not only cruel, its holding them back from someone that could give them everything. Someone that feels waves breaking in their ribcage when they see her walk around the corner. Someone that has had the worst of days, but rainbows suddenly appear at the thought of her. Someone who hears the sound of her voice and it soothes the darkest of nightmares.
If that's not you, let her go.
She is wonder, she is magic, she deserves someone who believes that on every single day, not just on certain days. (via lovesick-lullaby)"

"You have no fucking idea what it's like to be so emotionally damaged by a person who you thought would be there for you."

"her freckles were so much more intricate
than the constilations in the sky
I fell for the numerous galaxies
that were consumed in her wondrous eyes
she was an unfathomable perfection
handcrafted in celestial reams
a beauty that no hand can touch
for just the mere sight of her overwhelms
I called her my illuminating supernova
the brightest, most alluring of all
and with every sight of a shooting star
the harder and faster I'd fall
she had become my entire universe
a stellar love that I couldn't resist
together, we created a phenomenon
oh, the beauty of loves first eclipse."

"The first time I saw her...
Everything in my head went quiet.
All the tics, ask the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.
When you have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, you don't really get quiet moments.
Even in bed, I'm thinking:
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips.
Or the eyelash on her cheek--
the eyelash on her cheek--
the eyelash on her cheek.
I knew I had to talk to her.
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going.
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or fucking talking to her...
But she loved it.
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times if it was Wednesday.
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks in our sidewalk.
When we moved in together, she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I defenitely locked the door eighteen times.
I'd always watch her mouth when she talked--
when she talked--
when she talked--
when she talked
when she talked;
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.
At night, she'd lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off..
And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off.
She'd close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.
Some morning I'd start kissing her goodbye but she'd just leave cause I was just making her late for work...
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking...
When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line.
She told me I was taking too much of her time.
Last week she started sleeping at her mother's place.
She told me she shouldn't have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but...
How can this be a mistake that I don't have to wash my hands after I touched her?"

" i thought of texting you
"good morning, i can't sleep"
and then i remembered
that you are on a journey
which i am not a part of
but
good morning
i can't sleep "

"I love you.
I'll say it again and again.
I fucking love you.
I always will."

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