deconstruction of 愛 (love) ❤️⚒
"Love can only grow in a climate of respect for the other's freedom. If we become too attached, our emotions will not allow the other person to be free, and in this way we may slowly strangle the love that is there." - Frank Vilaasa (What is Love? The Spiritual Purpose of Relationships)
Many people get into a long-term relationship or marriage just to want to have a peace of mind that "I locked her/him down." I don't have to try anymore. He/she is mine no matter what I do. I can be lazy. I can go on autopilot. And they end up creating a version of themselves that they don't even like - and hope their significant others will unconditionally.
That's when the attachment and fear-based mentality kick in. The relationship begins to thrive on fear and on how to control the other person, so I feel safe - rather than thriving on love to make one another happy. But if you're honest with your own self-growth and you're creating a version of yourself that you're a fan of, there's really nothing to be afraid of. In fact, you'll have the means to love your significant other even more deeply by respecting each other's freedom and happiness.