today is #worldmentalhealth day, so I wanted to share a bit about my experience with mental health and what it is like travelling full time whilst suffering with panic attacks.
I first suffered a panic attack this year back in June and it was a feeling I had never experienced before, at first I didn't even know I had one. I felt suffocated. I felt as if the world had closed in on me and I felt helpless. this lasted for about 2 weeks straight, every night I would have a panic attack. as soon as the sun would set I would dread it, as I had the association of my first panic attack whilst I was in bed. the lack of sleep made me feel so far from myself I didn't feel like me anymore. I actually felt defeated and would just sob, I just couldn't understand how I got to this point in my life.
after a few days I sat and spoke to my mum, I opened up to her what I was going though. she hugged me and told me she had gone through the same thing for years. that was the first step to coping with my panic attacks and anxiety, being open and honest.
I would spend hours and hours analysing ways to stop them. all I had in the back of my head was, what I am I gonna do if I have one on the plane, or whilst I'm away travelling? I'm completely alone then. I was so worried my anxiety was going to stop me from living the my dream.
I went away for a few days and decided to get my life back into a routine and become more centred in order to control them. I started doing yoga and meditation every morning and evening, it helped me get a grip of the world. if I was living in the present I had no worries about what "could" happen as it was 'maybe' and in that moment in time I was fine and safe. it took a lot practice to get to that point made I made progress. I also stopped going on social media and limited my time, especially first thing in the morning and before I went to bed. we forget how fragile our minds are, everyday we are confronted with harsh realities and sometimes we need to know when to put our phones away and concentrate on something which brings us value. my anxiety will always be there but I feel in control now. remember it's okay not to be okay.🌙🌅❤️