nikitrosky nikitrosky

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nikitrosky  Just being me full time.

Seven years ago today I told this man that I loved him for the first time. We dove into each other and parenthood almost immediately. We have since untangled our romance, but the love is still there.
Let me be clear that it wasn’t something I wanted. I held space for our love to work, but the truth is Nereo needs to walk a different path at this time.
I could have gotten stuck in anger. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn. I could have made life hell for both of us. But why would I want to be stuck in hell?
I could have taken it personally and been hard on myself, but I know my worth. I also know I am the only one who can break my heart.
I could have laid down guilt and blame, but I took responsibility for my willingness to rise in love with Nereo for who he is. I never wanted to change him or make him fit some uncomfortable mold.
When we got married in the jungle I prayed for wings not strings. I have not strayed from this even though it’s been fucking hard at times.
I believe our evolution has been exemplary. I so proud of us @scenere0. I believe we have honoured each other through the entire process. I will always remember the day I said ‘I love you’, because it was unconditional. I can say that now more than ever.
Happy ‘I love you anniversary!’ Thank you for all of it, especially our golden boy. You are both still my greatest dreams come true. Sometimes when I cry I am smiling because the whole thing is so damn beautiful.
Stay you,
xoxo Queen.

Oh my god I love my kid! This was alllll his idea!!! Nailed it!
#kikidancechallenge #zenfoxdiaries #kikidance #thefloss

The true Queen is on the right.
Love you mom! You spoil us like no other. Always feeling blessed to be your daughter.
#midevilfestival #familyfun

Dear Zen Fox,
Today you tested for your yellow belt in Aikido and passed! My little warrior I am so proud of you. You were focused, determined and ready. You have learnt discipline (which is pretty awesome for a squirmy little energy ball) and the importance of respecting & bowing to your opponents. You were glowing with confidence and self-pride and I was beaming like the sun watching you! Your victory dance says it all. Bravo my love!
Stay golden,
Love mama ✨
#aikido #yellowbelt #zenfoxdiaries #age6

Ps. We LOVE @tatami.studio_aikido_yoga ! They are ensuring the children of today are the leaders of tomorrow! AND the teachers look like they are glowing - like abnormally radiant beings!!!

As soon as I found out I had no kid, an empty house and zero responsibility for 48 hours this is what happened...
#kickoff #kidfreeweekend #ohyestherewaswineinvoled #andweed #mombshell

There are so many ways to care for the self. For me it has been a Togi- detox at @poccapocawpg - my skin feels like jade, hitting my yoga mat 5 days a week to sweat it out @mokshayogawpg & being grateful when friends like @savyjoy invite me to @thermeawinnipeg. (whoa that’s a lot of tags)
But here’s something important to know about doesn’t have to take time & cost a lot of money. Everything I already do can be an act of self love.
Instead of shampooing mindlessly - I can wash my hair gently, I can sing and pray to my shower water. I can eat an apple with the intention of nourishment. I can stop and inhale sunshine and consciously ask my cells to do the same.
It’s the INTENTION that heals.
This photo is from one of my isolations, it was me & my tent for 4 days. Spending time alone in nature is one of the greatest forms of self-care I know of. It doesn’t have to be extreme, even a walk with the intention of inhaling life is powerful.
If you want some of this juicy goodness come and join me for a FREE yoga class tomorrow night at @fhcoffee_ hosted by @tokyosmoke. We’re gonna breathe + stretch with the intention of awakening your loving self.

#selflove #intention #easy #everydayshit #nikitrosky

Dear Nereo,
I want to say I am SO proud of us. I can’t even find a reason to be sad, we haven’t separated- we have evolved. Not only that, but we have supported each other every step of the way.
Someone asked me what we were doing about custody and I replied ‘we haven’t even used that word.’ There have been no lawyers, no bickering, no manipulations or guilt. It’s been pure love.
From the bottom of my heart I thank you - I thank you for all that was, all that is and all that is yet to come.
WTF?! The track you just sent me is bonkers. Can someone pah-leeeze invest in this man to write an album?! I swear it’s already gold. @scenere0!!! You are a quintuple threat! Dude can ignite the mic, paint the scene, shoot & edit a music video, design an album cover AND dance while doing it. Jezzzzzzzus let me get rich so I can invest in YOU.
I swear every time you send me a track I cry. I hear a thousand planets behind your voice. I hear a prophet delivering doorways & locks. I hear truth dropping like keys.
If rap were chess, you’d be Bobby Fischer.
Stay undisputedly you,
xo Me
#illbefrontrowcenter #numberonefan #always #artinvestorsoftheworldwakeup!

There is something peculiar about this time. Life is dishing out challenges like playing cards. Some of my greatest warrior friends are in the trenches right now. Strangers have been reaching out to me to share their own struggles.
So what’s up?
I see it like this. Sometimes evolution goes backwards before it goes forwards. Think of it like a sling shot. We are in the belly of a sling shot that is being pulled back as far as it can go.
Guess what is holding it there?
Tension & resistance.
How do we release?
Relax and let go.
With awareness we can begin to see we are not battling something bigger, we are only up against ourselves. Things happen that are out of our control, but we will ALWAYS have the last say on how to deal with it.
The way to release the tension is to become conscious of it, surrender to it.
Resist nothing.
Allow it all.

There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you if you are suffering. EVERY HUMAN on this planet experiences pain, loss, loneliness, blame, shame.
So what are you gonna do about it?
Don’t know where to turn?
Turn IN.
It’s time to face shit head on.
Don’t numb it, feel it.
Don’t scold it, honour it.
Sit with it. Look at it. Ask it questions.
What is it trying to teach you?
What are you too afraid to look at? Look there first.
Be honest with yourself.
Dig through your dirt until you strike gold.
Most important be kind to yourself in the process.

Just remember we are so much more than our personal stories. So stop trying to hold it all together. Let shit fall apart and see what’s left. You will be surprised at what remains.
If we center ourselves in compassion, make a commitment to awareness + learn the lessons we need to learn, then individually and collectively we will release and soar into the next stage of human evolution.
Was there something else?
Let’s DO this.
#letsslingshotthisbitch #dontforgettolaughatyourmisery

Dear Zen Fox,
You are honestly my favourite person the party with. We just came from your 7th folkfest and you are only 6!
Following you through the camp grounds is hilarious. You walk around like a boss engaging everyone and anyone. You have no fear - only visions of fun.
You got this mascot head from a drunk adult and rocked it. You had crowds of people chanting Charmander! You collected glow sticks and initiated everyone into the rainbow family by tapping them on the shoulders & heart. You hopped a beer tent fence after hours to do the greatest gnome heist ever.
On the last night you also learnt how to channel energy. You taught me and papa how to pull it up from the earth and down from the sky. Then you told me to sit in lotus position in my hula hoop so you could bless me. You knelt in front of me, said a prayer and then circled around me doing your energy work. I was both stunned and taking notes!!
You are a little powerhouse full of love & wisdom.
I am so lucky to be your partner in crime.
Stay Golden,
xox Mama Fox
#zenfoxdiaries #winnipegfolkfest #proudmama

Like I said....somethings never change. My kid is hooking up with Papa Fox and mama is cuttin’ loose.
#winnipegfolkfest #saturdaynight #setfortakeoff #nikitrosky

The one on the left is like my favourite pair of slippers and a cup of camomile tea. I am always at home with Len. The guy that looks like Biff from Back to the Future is my go to for a gut laugh and razor sharp wit. I always know Gun will have my back. The one on the right is my shadow of light. Andre keeps me afloat in the deep recesses of my being.
We have seen each other through death, divorce, heart breaks and hangovers. We have fought, we have cried, we have spent months in different countries and we have lasted through it all.
Friends like this are my greatest currency. I am rich because of them. I love these men and they love me.
#friends #keepmesane

My dad asked me out on a date today. My heart exploded and I got so excited. I suggested we go to Nick’s Inn for burgers and shakes but he wanted to take me somewhere fancy so we went to The Gates.
This man has loved me like no other. We come from different worlds even though I came through him. It can’t be easy having a wild child for a daughter. He worked for 37 years as a teacher, I quit teaching after only 10 years to take a leap of faith. He plays hockey and golfs, I do yoga. He has been married for 51 years, my marriage is consciously unwinding after 7. He isn’t into spiritual shit, I am committed to my spiritual path.
Through all the drastic changes and risks I have taken over the years I have never felt misunderstood by my dad. He doesn’t try and understand me, he just loves me. He doesn’t judge me, he supports me. He doesn’t ask me to be anything more or less. He accepts me for who I am.
My dad can tell my life has been super hard as of late and he simply shows up by painting my kitchen cabinets, keeping a room under his roof for me and asking me out on dates. He is my rock.
We realized half way through a bottle of wine that it was his birthday! Hahah - we BOTH forgot! We almost died laughing.
Happy birthday Trigger. You are a living legend. You may not be ‘spiritual’ but you treat all humans with kindness & respect. You accept people for who they are, you open your heart and your home to all walks of life. You are satisfied with your existence and you don’t ask for more. You are a natural Buddha and the greatest teacher. I am so lucky to be your daughter.
#dad #trigger #thebest #76

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