nichvsana nichvsana

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I’m Nicholas  My journey to acceptance 🌵 Vegetarian -eats pescatarian in the treatment- 🐮🐷 Now inpatient 🏥 I am honest and mention triggers as numbers etc 💀 🇩🇰

Today was a very good day.
I sang with a patient karaoke songs and we danced just dance. I’m starting to believe that the closed ward it’s the best place for me, even tho I’m the only one with eating disorder here. Here I still get my meals from my meal plan but also get help to my other diagnoses, including my daily psicose crises. But everything still feels without a solution, so I feel kinda hopeless and end up letting my ED act with many behaviors, which are not good.
But as bad days come, good ones also come. At least, that’s what I am hoping. 🦁

My week haven’t been the best. Everyday I end up having some flashbacks from my PTSD and some psicose episodes. Because of that, after trying to survive one week, I end up self-harming and being sent to a closed ward until I get better.
I hope that soon I will be coming back to the Eating Disorder ward because here they really can’t help me with my eating habits, even tho they try their best.
But it’s good to get to rest with some staff that understand better my psicose and flashbacks, so I’m positive about feeling better soon. 🧡
I hope you bunnies are taking good care of yourself. 🐰💕

Hello, my name is Ace but you can call me Nicholas, Nich or anything that comes to your mind. I’m 20 years old and I have just watched some mental illness take away from me almost everything that I had fought for. Have been inpatient for anorexia nervosa in 6 months now and, some months ago my therapist, which is specialized in eating disorders, sent me to have some appointments with another therapist because she noticed that I had something else going on, other than anorexia. After some appointments, he comes in my room with 4 names in the papers; Obsessive compulsive disorder , Post traumatic stress disorder, Borderline personality disorder and Schizophrenia. He guide me about a treatment I will need to follow in a clinic for these diagnoses when I’m discharged from my eating disorder treatment and leaves my room for the last time, saying: “that’s it Ace, it was good to get to know you.” Know me? Or know my diagnoses? I find myself wondering...and then I realize that I just got 4 more labels to society act like they know how I am. But they don’t, because I’m more than this. I’m more than these disorders and diagnoses.
I’m still on my way to accept these labels and myself, but now at a healthy weight and bmi 20, I decided to create this account to share my way to acceptance, my way to know myself again, victories, challenges regarding all my diagnoses, feelings and thoughts, and my struggles.
Because things must be a little messy now, but if it was easy to deal with all this, I would not need help.
But just because I need help, doesn’t mean I’m my diagnoses. I’m more than labels. I’m a person. I’m Ace. Nicholas. Nich. Or as I said: whatever comes to your mind. 🌻

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