neslithechocolate neslithechocolate

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NeslitheChocolate  𝔰𝔞𝔡 𝔰𝔢𝔵𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫 Melts on the pole, not in your hand. // low flow // owner & creator of @pdndie // instructor at @poleicons // queer pansexual babe

Oh the things I'd do to you |
Bangs literally take centuries to grow. |💓| #poledancer #poledancersofig #makeup #motd #cateye #cateyetillidie #mullet #mulletmonday #feminist #pansexual #idk #winter #chicago #septumpiercing

So I did it. I moved Chicago. Finally. You all must know, I am actually a very lazy person. A huge procrastinator. So for me to make such a large move on my own, without the help of my family was a huge mark in my adulthood.
This whole year had been such a huge development and emotional year. This year I’ve counted on friends more than family. People that have shown me so much support, kindness by helping me move and being there for me, getting me out of my house when my depression and disassociation would set in.
I moved out of my 1 bedroom apartment I lived in for 4.5 years with my ex fiancé. The apartment held a bit of heaviness for me I couldn’t shake. And I moved in to a 3 bedroom apartment with the loveliest people and furry companions I could ask for. I’m so shocked that all of this fell into place in the best of ways.
Lastly, I want to thank all of you. I know I’ve been vocal about my depression, how my last few months have been very pressing emotional, mentally. But nonetheless the people who have reached out to make sure I’m okay, those that in person have took a moment to look me in the eye and ask be genuinely if I’m doing okay. You, you have been incredibly loving, thoughtful and a true light through this arduous tunnel. I am beyond grateful for your compassion.
All in all know, for me, right now, everything is coming up milhouse. I am now officially a city bitch. |🌇| #moving #movingon #citybitch #chicago #depression #grateful #thankful #happy #changes #lifegoeson

Alright let’s get real for a second. If you have followed me for some time you are probably used to photos of this nature. And if you may or may not have realized there have been much less of these than before. So let’s talk about it. I am in one of the most transitional times in my life, with ending a very long relationship, going through a deep deep depressive episode, to coping with living on my own. How has this shown up in my daily living? I’ve struggled to maintain a routine, I have tendency to stay up way too late in order to exhaust myself and become engulfed in Netflix shows. My desire to eat has truly plummeted. So there for, all of this has taken an extreme toll on my body dysmorphia and though to anyone’s eyes I’m still in great shape, I feel terrible, my muscles aren’t being fed the food they need to stay, I’m losing weight but mostly in my muscle and my overall defined muscles have taken a hit as a result. So no, I don’t feel like posting my body in fear that people will think things say things. I am also completely aware of the fact that people probably wouldnt see the changes that I see. The beauty of body dysmorphia. With all this being said I’m here to remind you that all too common idea I always preach: have compassion for yourself. Have compassion for where ever you are at right now. If you haven’t been able to keep up, that’s okay. Make small necessary adjustments as you can. Remember though, circumstances will change and you’ll be back on whatever grind it is that helps you feel whole. I’m struggling immensely with routine, but it’s because my life is absolute chaos right now. But I know once things settle, I’ll be back. The beauty of body is that it will be ready when you are, it won’t be easy, but it will be ready. I love you all. Console your sweet selves, you’re doing amazing sweeties. |💕| #bodyimage #positivebodyimage #bodydysmorphia #bodydysmorphicdisorder #compassion #loveyourself #stress #depression #womenwholift #poledancer #poledancelife #motivation #itsokay #itsokaynottobeokay #exhausted #tattoos #squatbooty #bodypositive #bodytransformation #insecurities #changes #emotional

Healing in the form of freestyle. An older video from a few weeks back. Everything is changing so quickly, I’m doing everything in my power to make my life better for myself, depending on no one but me and asking help from others when needed. This new found energy and belief in myself is so solidified in who is coming into my life and the connections and relationships I’m growing and cultivating. No more settling, complacency or sitting and waiting. Just go do that thing you’ve been telling yourself you’ll do at some point. I finally did and I feel like I’m finally living again. |🖤| #poledance #poledancer #poledancersofig #freestyle #findyourfreestyle #exoticdancers #exoticmovement #pdfreestyle #pdspin #robe #justdance #sundaybumday #sundaymotivation #chicago

I’m having a really rough morning. Here’s to happier moments. |💜| #poledancing #poledancer #spinpole #pdspin #spinflow #pdflow #pdfreestyle #poledancersofig #poledancenation #depression #crying #overit

Week 3 @b.brazen (sorry for the tardiness)
Post 5: Do you feel like due to your life experiences you have been able to connect your own voice (personally/professionally/creatively)? If so, how & why?

While navigating the pole community and movement itself, remembering that movement is very objective in some aspects as is any art form. So while technically we should always listen to our teachers, stylistically you should always explore your own voice and style. Professionally I’m able to connect and collaborate with other movers to explore concepts that I wish to put on stage in a public way. With voice also, it’s important to keep in mind that if pole and the act of dancing are a release for you, listening to that and dancing from that place will always help you connect honestly and authentically to your voice. As of late it’s been very prevalent in my work how I am feeling. I’m feeling sad, I still feel sexy, I look for an escape when I dance. All really mirror my personal life. As artists I think we always use our own experiences to move us forward and help us explore concepts, whether that be in personal practice or a production for the stage. Our voices and experiences most honestly are derived from our own experiences and being able to look at our situations from so many different angles makes for voice and exploration exciting. Movement is deeply personal for me and it may be why I chose the path to focus always on dancing and less on throwing large tricks. I will always choose feelings over difficulty or classic impressiveness. So yes, pole is very personal for me, so the connections I make through movement have aided me in cultivating a voice, while also being able to show that on a large platform in a professional way. |🖤| #poledancing #poledancer #poledancersofig #sexyneverleft #aerial #pdspincombo #pdspin #heels #thechromebar @thechromebar #poledancemotivation #poledancenation #exoticmovement #movementculture

I did it. My longest road trip ever by myself from Chicago to Nashville. Went straight to my favorite place in the whole world @thechromebar. So happy to be here. |💕| #poledancing #poledancer #poledance #poledancelife #poledancersofig #pdflow #pdsit #spinpole #pdspin #pdspincombo #movement #sexyneverleft #heels #float #pdreversegrab

Week 2 for @b.brazen
prompt play:
This week I challenge you with repetition. You know that part of your brain that tells you to not repeat a move because people will notice and get bored. I give you the space and opportunity to challenge that idea. How can repeating the same movement actually help your movement visually? Can you create a sense of symmetry with a sequence? Can repeating the same move help you travel around the pole? Can you create a sense of comfort to the viewer thinking they know what to expect then completely tricking them with transitioning into the next move? I think often times we fear repeating ourselves, so why not dice head first into that concept sand see what new sequences come about. Also want to thank @iam_lauramarie foe this buck wild song. |🔁| #poledancing #poledance #poledancenation #poledancemotivation #pdfreestyle #pdlowflow #lowflow #exoticmovement #exotic #sexyneverleft #poledancelife #poledancersofig

Week 2 @b.brazen
How have your life experiences impacted how you approach movement? Do you feel like it has helped/hindered your ability to thrive in a creative context?
Growing up i was an irish dancer for 9 years. So my connection to musicality and beats and structure derives a lot from that discipline. It was extremely rigorous, almost military like so my drive for technique, lines and extension really were cultivated during that time. However the fluidity I have in pole is very self motivated and self taught. Its how my body prefers to move and honestly what I find pleasing visually. What has hindered my ability to thrive is my backlash from my family. I've had a lot of pushback in terms of my instagram and presence on social media. So when i create and share here is a part of me that knows my family will see it and have their thoughts and feelings about who I am. So at times that judgement can effect the sensuality of my work. However the truth is you will never be able to satisfy anyone and I firmly believe you should fight with every fiber of your being to do what feels best for you. Pole has been life changing for my in many ways and if my family can't see how much i love it, how much power it's given me and how much I want to give that back to others, then it's their problem and not mine. | #poledancing #poledancer #poleflow #sensualmovement #sexyneverleft #heels #exoticpoledance #exotic #poledancersofig #poledancenation #pdfreestyle #poledancelife #movement #movementculture #movementismedicine

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