Shared interests don’t mean much to me if we can’t openly express our feelings with each other.
I say this because I’ve seen people talk about a favorite band or sports team endlessly without once asking their friend how they are.
It may seem small, but it’s not.
In my most nourishing relationships, I do my best to be very attentive and present to how the other person is feeling. I know how they’re doing because I ask and we share.
I don’t care if I like hip hop music and you like alternative,
If you like basketball and I’d rather dance,
If I prefer tv and you enjoy movies.
It doesn’t matter.
If anything, it’s just more potential to teach each other something new.
What matters to me is that we are present with each other,
That we share our feelings,
That we communicate about our goals and our visions,
That we are open to change within the other person,
That we are understanding enough in our love to not fear distance or distraction.
In my experience, I see this a lot in male friendships.
They will find a shared interest to connect on endlessly, but it’s rare they know how the other person is actually FEELING.
When I talk about relationships, I don’t just mean romantic. I mean friendships, I mean business, I mean familial, I mean any type of relationship.
Are you truly present with this person when you’re with them?
Do you ask how they are?
Do you communicate how you feel?
Honor people by asking them how they are today and truly caring about the response.
We often think of the question “How are you?” as small talk but it’s anything but small.