myult1mateischarging myult1mateischarging

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myult1mateischarging  Keep your head up and your smile wide. 🖖🏼🍋

Here’s to hoping your holidays are as charming as I am inappropriate. 😜❤️🎉
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📸😘: @dylan_would

It’s about time I introduce you all to this handsome guy. .
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Over the last several months @dylan_would has opened my heart to a love I’ve never known. He has held me close while I have sobbed over Chris. Carried me to bed when I have drank too much and cried myself to sleep. Listened while my words were cutting and my anger like a flame. And through it all has shown me unparalleled patience, kindness and forgiveness. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain what a light he has been to me in such a dark time. In my “Year of the lemon” I finally found a little sweetener. 🍋🧡
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I have put off posting this because of all of the questions and emotions I know it will undoubtedly bring about, but because of this man I know I am finally strong enough to handle it all. Or at least if I’m not, he’ll be there once again to dry my tears and bring a smile back to my face. .
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Thank you for being you my sweet man. For bringing me back to me and making me proud of that woman once again.

“Isn’t it time for your soul, which has been ashamed of your meat for so long, to thank your meat for finally doing something wonderful?” “So I did.” .
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. 📚• Blue Beard 🖋• Kurt Vonnegut .
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I know I’m not alone when it comes to self loathing. I’ve always hated my gummy smile, my gangly limbs, my broken feet and beak of a nose, but it’s about time this old soul gives this meat some credit. In my real life, I tend to be the one behind the camera. I love observing the world and falling in love with every detail of it. In doing so I often forget to stop and see myself, to see my own beauty. I’m so grateful for the people in my life who see me. So grateful to see captured moments like this and not feel embarrassed of the way I look but to smile with pride because this goofy, gangly, beautiful meat is part of what others see when they look at the world. .
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I hope you fill your life with people that see you and show you how beautiful you are. It’s a gift I wish for everyone. ❤️ .
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#wednesdaywisdom #selfacceptance #selflove #smile #grateful #selfloathing #kurtvonnegut #bluebeard

Do Vulcans drink lemonade?🍋🖖🏽
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For those who have been following me for a while, my absence, and the absence of Chris when I do post, has raised a lot of questions. This post has been incredibly hard for me to write but I think I’ve finally found the right words to start. I’m sure this will raise more questions than questions answered, but I hope you’ve come to love the story teller in me enough to know that in time, you’ll know it all. I love you my sweet Chargies. Thank you for being here to love me through it all. 💛 .
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“2018 was the Year of the Lemon for me. Everytime I turned around it seemed like another lemon had found me. I needed the ultimate bail, so I moved to Cambodia and left all of my lemons behind. Chris has called it our “Hail Mary” but by the time we were there I was already gone. I wont go into detail now, I may not ever, but Chris and I had been going through an incredibly challenging time. I want so badly to say that I tried everything I could, that I alone fought and cried and wanted us but I know that isn’t true. I know in his very own Chris way he did try, fight and cry for us. I know neither one of us wanted it to end but sometimes you throw a Hail Mary and miss the catch.”
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For the full post, since Instagram limits my feels by character count, check the link in my bio. .
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Now I’m off to pour some whiskey in this lemonade and ignore my inbox for a while. I love love love you all. Have the most beautiful of weekends. 🍋🌸

“I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth... and truth rewarded me.” -Simone De Beauvoir •


I will never not chase absolute truth. In myself, in others, in life, and in love. The older I get, the more I face. The more difficult it becomes to find that transparency in the world and to demand it of myself. I’ve always been true to who I am but I am finally starting to realize the magnitude of that person. Of who I am to others and how much I’ve slighted them by not seeing myself. I often feel like Spiderman, like I have this great power and responsibility to be true, to allow others to accept their own truth. .
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I’ve been going through a lot and doing quite a bit of introspection. But I want you all to know that you have been vital in discovering myself. You have given me the strength to stand tall and be strong in the face of some very hard times. You make me proud of my truths, no matter what they may be. So thank you for being you and allowing me to be me. I hope I can give back even a fraction of the hope, strength and beauty you all have given to me.💛🌸
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#fridayfeels #inspirational #selflove #hope #truth #selfacceptance #converse #chucks #longbeach #tgif #friday #alexacharging #myult1mateischarging #chargienation

Because Mars needs sexy butterflies too! 😜🦋 Would you jump planet? .
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#spacex #mars #explore #adventure #saturday #alexacharging #myult1mateischarging #chargienation

Feesh. 🧡

Dirty hair, stoney eyes, still drunk from the night before and a Star Wars shirt. Happy to share this very real version of me with you. Who are you when you’re day drunk and alone?

“The beauty is in the breakdown.”
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Do yourself a favor, slow down and focus on the details of another sometime. We’re all broken, lost and misunderstood. All we want is for someone to get us and make living life a bit easier. If we take the time to see others we will find ourselves seen as well. .
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I often take pictures like this. Little moments and memories. So many considerations caught up in thoughts I never share, so many pieces of me. .
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Who are you? I’d love to see. DM me, let’s have a conversation. It may take me days or weeks to respond. It’s not that I don’t care, I’m just human too. .
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#cambodia #siemreap #perspective #details #acceptence #selfacceptance #hope #alexacharging #myult1mateischarging #chargienation

If you’re ever in need of a smile just check out this beautiful place. So many happy hearts my face could melt. 😻🤩 .
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#cambodia #siemreap #travel #smile #saturday #itsthefreakinweekend

Could sit for hours drinking margaritas and looking at the art on these walls. So much to explore. .
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#cambodia #seimreap #margaritas #mexican #art #prince #besutiful #travel #travelgram

Angelina Jolie talks about how Cambodia was her awakening, after being here I feel it too. This trip has changed me in ways I never expected, it’s a lot to process. So I’m still here, I’m just thinkin. And as always, when I get it figured out I’ll tell you all about it. I love you guys, thanks for always being here for me. ❤️ .
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#cambodia #siemreap #angkorwat #angelinajolie #awakening

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