[PR] Gain and Get More Likes and Followers on Instagram.

mylifeof_love mylifeof_love

264 posts   4147 followers   1013 followings

Rachael  Visual diary of my life + wife + Mum to Mackenzie our beautiful shooting star + blogger + Genetic Carrier testing Campaigner. My Life of Love ✨✨

https://www.mylifeoflove.com/

Today was spent looking after two special little kiddies that I love very much. This little love bug is my soon to be god son. I always feel a special connection with him. He was conceived when Mackenzie was born. He is letting me practice the Mum skills my beautiful baby girl gave me, waiting until her siblings come along.
.
#mackenziesmemories #godson #practicingmymackenzieskills #imissyouprincess #claudieandollierule @_jon_cas @kath_valastro

*nipple alert, nipple alert*
.
Apologies to anyone who is nipple sensitive but this video is too cute to not share (plus it is just a nipple we all have them).
.
This video is pure Mackenzie. She was a little boob fiend (I hate that I have to say was rather than is...) I am proud to say that all her chunk was 100% breast milk. She would often coo when she saw my boob and smile that little dimple smile. It is one of my favourite sounds and sights. I watch this video all the time, it never fails to make me smile but it also makes me think how is she not here?
.
How good is the last 5 seconds???
.
#mackenziesmemories #boobiemonster #milkfiend #ohmygoshthatsound #dimples #breastfeeding

So much tiredness for a Tuesday morning.
.
I love watching videos of Kenzie. In this one we were trying to keep Mackenzie awake for the last two minutes of our drive so she could sleep in her bed but she wasn’t having a bar of it.
.
The cuteness is unreal!!! Or is that just me??
.
#mackenziesmemories #toomuchcuteness #tiredtuesday #imissyousomuchithurts

Today is our second wedding anniversary. We could never have known when we stood there saying our vows what the next two years would bring us.
.
I am so proud of our love. It is the main reason I get up every morning. You are everything to me.
.
You love me for everything I am, I always feel supported by you. You make me smile, even in the darkest of moments. You challenge me, you make me a better person.
.
I love that together we made Mackenzie, in my eyes she is the greatest gift to the world. I feel my heart expand when I think of your love for each other – father and daughter. Even now when you say or do something funny I picture her face, her eyes lighting up looking at you, watching your every move intently, the little creases around her eyes, the cooing sound which if we were lucky would border on a giggle.
.
Mackenzie’s greatest gift to us is what her love did to our relationship. We are stronger than ever, joined at the hip and so very in love.
.
Thank you for choosing me to spend your life with, thank you for seeing something special in me. I love you @_jon_cas .
#happyanniversary #soinlove #mackenziesparents #youaremyeverthing #thankyou

Happy 11th Monthday my princess xx ❤️
.
#mackenziesmemories #monthday #wemissyou #weloveyou #meetmeinmydreamstonight

One in twenty people carry Cystic Fibrosis (CF) Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) or Fragile X (FXS). If two people who both carry the same disorder have a baby there is a 25% chance they will be born affected. These stats are too high!!
.
CF, SMA and FXS are all severe life threatening/life limiting disorders. Look them up, they are cruel and horrible disorders... but they can be prevented.
.
My family have been advocating for people who are either looking to have a baby or in early pregnancy to have the Prepair test from Victorian Clinical Genetics Services. It is a simple saliva or blood test which you can be sent from VCGS with a doctors referral. It tests for all three of these disorders listed above.
.
But do you want to know something scary? Some IVF clinics don’t offer the test as routine, some don’t encourage the test to be completed or they only offer the CF test even though SMA is the number one genetic killer of babies under two!!
.
Since discovering this new world we heard a story I want to share with you. The story of a couple who spent $40,000 on IVF. When they finally got the child they worked so hard to get the baby was diagnosed with SMA, the same disorder that killed my beautiful baby girl. The baby they spent so much time wishing for passed away before they were one to a slow horrible disorder. Can you imagine this?
.
How? $40,000 but they weren’t encouraged to do a $385 test to check that their baby wouldn’t have CF, SMA or FXS. No this test doesn’t protect from every disorder but it’s a start.
.
If you are currently going to an IVF clinic please ask them if they offer this testing and if they don’t tell them they should and you want it.
.
I will be contacting each Australian IVF clinic myself asking them to please add the test to their process, if they don’t already. They should offer this test and even better encourage it!!! People are giving you their life savings, their hopes and their dreams of a family you have an obligation to help protect them. For $385 it is worth it. Please for Mackenzie✨continued in comments..
.
#changeformackenzie #ivf #ivfclinics #genetictesting #ivfaustralia #primaryivf #fertilitycentre #fertilityfirst #monashivf

Hi everyone! It’s that time again, yep #fabfriendfriday
.
.
Meet Lia (aka McHotFace). She is a beautiful dream friend. I ‘think’ I picked up Lia through mutual friends about 10 years ago and just didn’t let her go.
.
.
Despite living in another state, owning her own business, working part time (at another job), studying, writing, having a busy husband and raising two beautiful young children Lia has found the time to always be there for me, especially during the loss of our beautiful baby girl. She calls, txts, supports me, listens to me and gives us beautiful little surprise love gifts.
.
.
On the topic of gifts ‘someone’ who has very similar handwriting to Lia regularly sends Mackenzie presents. Seeing Mackenzie’s name on a packages lights up my world. These gifts range in type (and I want to keep some secret) but they are ALWAYS so thoughtful. However, Lia never admits to any of these actions. Just like when Jonny and I escaped away after we lost Kenzie, we had the accommodation spa invite us downstairs one day for a paid for massage by an unknown ‘Mackenzie fan’. But of course it wasn’t Lia...😏
.
.
I love this clever, talented, kind, caring, mega smart, wonderful, surprising, beautiful friend. Thank you @mcbain11
.
.
Happy #fabfriendfriday xx ✨✨✨

Oh my goodness gracious me the outpouring of love this week, especially yesterday, felt like a huge hug. Like a bandaid helping to ease the pain.
.
.
I have so much love for you all. I am in awe of your compassion and the ability you all have to look outside your own ‘life bubble’. Not everyone can do that. So just by taking notice of our journey shows you are good people.
.
.
After all that pain I also smiled yesterday. A beautiful woman called Melissa from @tinytags sent me a STUNNING 14k white gold necklace. I wish my photos could do its beauty justice (look at their site to get a better look). It is a round tag which says ‘Mackenzie’ on the front and ‘our shooting star’ on the back. Simple, elegant, timeless. I love it and will wear it forever. It is the perfect gift for any mother. Thank you @tinytags - your gift is beautiful xx
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #grateful #compassion #giftsoflove #mothersgifts

Today was hard. Really hard. I’ve had days where I have felt strong and days, like today, where it got on top of me.
.
.
Today I missed Mackenzie so much I thought my pain would make me explode. The more ‘normal’ life gets back to, the harder I find it to cope. Like everything is clicking into where it was before she existed, but it shouldn’t! She was here, she was beautiful. Life should be different.
.
.
In addition, today my Mum went in for her second surgery for a breast cancer diagnosis which she got a couple of weeks after we lost Kenzie.
.
.
To top it off I have had the massive hormone dump following our last IVF round... all while we have been hanging on tender hooks waiting for the results from our second IVF round. Whilst not being very successful and proving harder than we thought, today we at least got the good news that two embryos made it to genetic testing!!! More would have been good but it is a start. It will still take another 2-3 weeks to know the results and we will still have to do more IVF rounds but it is a glimmer of hope in our future.
.
.
I’m sharing this photo because this is my honest space. I’m not here to fake life. I look awful in this Claire Danes crying photo. It is embarrassing but it is real and I am not ashamed. For those wondering why my husband decided to take a photo of me like this he thought it would make me laugh to see my cry face....
.
.
I’m sorry for all the sadness this past week, this is not always me but this is honest real me now. This ‘realness’ has inspired me to write a new blog post (link in bio) called ‘Why do we fake it?’ .
.
By the way my Mum is doing ok, my husband took me to blow bubbles for Kenzie and he gave me chocolate covered macadamia balls. I am smiling for now xxx
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #letsbereal #nofakeness #pain #real #bubblesmakemesmile

I am excited to announce someone trusts Jonny and I enough to be godparents!!!!!! We are proud to be ‘GPs’ to little Oliver... well we will be unless we lose our GP role between now and the ceremony.
.
.
Whilst we may not be able to guide him through religion we can love him like crazy, buy him presents and keep him safe. Plus we take our duties seriously enough to have already bought the obligatory wands (Jonny’s doubles as a bubble maker).
.
.
Honestly though we could not be more honored, proud and in love with our little god dude. Thank you Kath and John for choosing us - we won’t let you down!! @kath_valastro @_jon_cas xxx ✨✨

See this woman, for those who don’t know her name is Marcia... (and the cutie pie is Poppy). Marcia is a mother, a wife, a fashionista, a blogger, a business owner, a writer, a glamazon, a friend, a designer, a fellow IVF user and an angel. She popped into my life when I needed her, saw she could help in some way and did whatever she could. Not only has she helped yell Mackenzie’s name to whoever will listen, she has also spread the word of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and the need for pre/early pregnancy genetic testing. That would have been enough (especially for someone so busy) but she said “nope I can do more” so she did an auction of some amazing items and raised a HUGE $5192 for SMA research.
.
.
I have had some dark days missing my baby girl. Just in the last few days I had another wave of pain crash over me but I still have so much to be thankful for in my life, Marcia is one of them. She understands life. She understands give and take. She is wonderful.
.
.
I hope to continue having this woman in my life but no matter what happens from here she will always be one of the many torches in my darkness.
.
.
Thank you doesn’t seem enough @notsomumsy xx
.
.
Also a HUGE thank you to the beautiful people who donated pieces for the auction @goldieandace (insanely cute baby/children clothes!!) @primness (stunning woman’s clothing) @mummactiv (pregnancy friendly and super hot active wear) and @melwatts (divine woman) - support these crazy talented and sweet people. I am so sorry if I forgot anyone (I will edit this once I know my mistake)
.
.
Finally, thank you to those who put in bids for the auction. So much love to you all xx ✨✨✨
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #thankyou #grateful #girlcrush #honored #whatawoman #lovemyinstafam

Some of you know the past few days have been particularly hard for me. A fresh tidal wave of pain over losing Mackenzie has crashed over me. This pain is exacerbated by hitting hurdles in our IVF journey to expand our family. Life truly feels unfair. I don’t know why we keep getting hit. Enough.
.
But I have decided to try to focus on gratitude, to help keep my head above water.
.
So today I am grateful for people listening to Mackenzie’s message, and judging by the look of pure excitement on Kenzie’s face in this photo she is grateful too.
.
My blog now has well over 25,000 views!!
.
When I started the blog it was therapy for me and didn’t mind if it was read although I did hope it helped our message reach people. I am so excited to see how many people have read about Mackenzie, SMA and genetic testing!!! In fact my post on genetic testing is one of the most visited posts!!
.
Thank you xx 🙏🏻✨
.
#mackenziesmemories #grateful #tryingtokeepmyheadabovewater #pleaseuniversebekind #genetictesting #mackenziesmessage

Yesterday I fell flat on my face, it felt like I fell on rough concrete and scrapped up my whole body... metaphorically speaking. It was a fast, ungraceful, painful fall. My heart hurt. I was honest with you all about my pain because I am not here to lie. Life isn’t always a perfect picture.
.
.
I thought when I woke up things would seem brighter but today has been dark. It is like I have regressed in my Mackenzie pain. I haven’t moved off the couch, have eaten a tray of brownies and am cuddling my hot water bottle like it is my life line.
.
.
For today I am just letting myself feel what I need to. I know I will be ok eventually. One day I will hold Mackenzie’s sibling, I guess it may just take longer than I hoped.
.
.
I also know I’ll be ok because I have the greatest support team behind me. I love my Instagram family. Every single message I have been sent or comment you have made heals me. Thank you so so much for holding me up. I read and feel every single message. I love you all. Thank you xx ✨✨
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #kindnesswins #thankyou #iloveyouall #instagramfamily

Today has been a hard, horrible day. Every strong bone in my body that was allowing me to keep getting up each morning broke. I felt my resilience fade and I just cried hysterically in Jonny’s arms for hours. And I mean ugly Claire Danes cry.
.
.
We got the call to say that from our 11 eggs we only have 3 maybe 4 eggs that fertilized. Whilst this might seem like a good number to some this is what we got last time and none made it day 5 embryos. Due to the genetic testing our embryos need to undergo we have to have super day 5 blastocysts that are strong enough to biopsy. Whilst yes there is still hope, today it became clear we will have to do at least another round of IVF. I instantly felt tired, drained, exhausted. Another month or two away from holding my baby. It feels so far away.
.
.
I am deflated. Every time I think there is no way the universe can hit us more it does (there are hits I haven’t even advertised on Instagram). I keep trying to make positives out of what the world is giving us but sometimes it is impossible. I thought maybe 2018 would ease up on the pain that 2017 gave us.
.
.
I have no doubt tomorrow I will wake up and I will rally. Thanks to the love I receive from you all I will try again to bring positives to my life but for today I am done. Enough universe, enough.
.
.
I want my baby.
.
#mackenziesmemories #devestated #deflated #iwantmybabyback #ivf #grief

Mackenzie is looking over us during IVF round two.
.
.
Today was our egg collection. I am sore but ok. We are feeling hopeful and like we did everything we could to help make this round successful. However, we are also trying to be realistic in thinking we may need another round to get enough non-SMA affected embryos to transfer. We were ‘too’ positive last time which led to a dramatic fall. So trying to find a balance.
.
.
Wish us luck ✨✨
.
.
I have to say today @geneafertility looked after us so well. They are the best of the best! Speaking of the best... @_jon_cas was a perfect husband and one heck of a hot nurse.
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #geneafertilityclinic #mackenziessiblings #wishusluck #ivf #pgd

We had a knock on the door from our friendly post man yesterday. In his hands was a beautiful gift from @lovejkaustralia .
.
Thank you so much for your kindness. It is beautiful!! We love our Mackenzie art, isn’t that the best kind of art?xx
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #thankyou #kindnesswins

Recently, not surprisingly, I have been thinking a lot about grief. Despite so many wonderful people in my life I have sometimes felt alone in what I am feeling. So many people around me don't know how to handle our grief. This is not their fault, the loss of a child isn’t often spoken about..
.
.
So I took to the internet to seek answers and I found other people who have felt the same as me. I found this comforting. Because of this I have written this weeks blog post (link in bio) on my experience with grief. I hope it helps others going through a similar loss to not feel alone. I also hope to give some guidance to people on how to offer support to someone who is grieving, especially grieving the loss of a child.
.
.
Much love to you all xx
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #grief #grievingmother #infantloss

At the moment there is a lot I could be depressed about... and you know what some days I am. Some days I need to feel my pain but most days I try to wake up and make the conscious choice to focus on love. My love for Mackenzie, my love for Jonny, my love for my family and my love for my friends.
.
So in that spirit I am going to start doing #fabfriendfriday (on the weeks I feel inspired). It is my way of thanking some beautiful friends in my life.
.
Meet Katherine (Kath) she is my first #fabfriendfriday
.
I met Kath when I was 17. We went to college together, worked together and went to uni together. She has been my friend, my study partner, my partner in motherness, and my fellow lover of coffee and a good friand (you know a crunch on the outside, slightly chewy/fluffy on the inside).
.
Like most friendships we have had times of extreme closeness and times of distance but we are there for each other when it counts. When I got pregnant with Kenzie, Kath was one of my only close friends who already had children (who lived near me). She consciously took a step closer to me and became my support.
.
When Kenzie was diagnosed Kath took yet another step forward. I needed her desperately and she was there - consistently with no question. I don’t know how but she always knew what to say to me. She also knew how to be with Kenzie - she wasn’t scared to get close to her for fear of the pain, she sung to her, bought her gifts and loved her.
.
Early on Kath told me her way of showing me she was thinking of us, even if she was busy, would be to txt me two red hearts - that became our symbol. It has been 246 days since we learnt about Kenzie’s diagnosis, Kath has messaged me Every. Single. Day. Most days she messaged me multiple times. She even txt me whilst in labor with her second baby!!
.
Continued in comments ❤️❤️

Five Insightful & Five Trivial Facts About Me:
.
1. Jonny & I met at Police College. I was a recruit & he was my instructor. He taught self defense (I guess he liked my wrestling technique 😏) & firearms. He helped spray me with OC as part of our training - jerk;
.
2. Mackenzie’s middle name is the same as my middle name & my Mum’s middle name;
.
3. I was the second tallest girl in primary school but now I am a total short ass;
.
4. Jonny & I got married at the Grounds of Alexandria in Sydney. It was perfection! Even when (or especially when) the roosters crowed & the goats bleated during the ceremony;
.
5. My parents took me to the local Police station when I was 6 years old. Together my brother & I made up the local shop thieving team until one day the jig was up. We got caught taking a candy bar... My parents took us to the Police & got them to scare us in a proper interview room. It terrified me straight, so straight I became a cop;
.
6. If I was rich I would own a huge property in Eastern Suburbs Sydney which I would turn into a giant animal rescue farm with thousands of animals roaming free (but I would hire someone to pick up all the poop);
.
7. I had cancer when I was around 23 (a malignant melanoma). It shook me. As (un)luck would have it the cancer was in the middle of my forehead... I spent over a year with a bad fringe & now my scar is the thing I see when I look in the mirror;
.
8. I am a fiercely loyal and dedicated friend. I give everything to my friendships & expect everything back which sometimes hurts me. But I am proud of who I am and the love I have to give;
.
9. My university degree is in Psychology & my post grad is in Forensic Science not that I work in either of those areas but they are still useful I guess;
.
10. Most of Kenzie’s labor was spent listening to RnB Friday. For shizzle. FYI fun fact when you google for shizzle to check the spelling you a. Realize how lame you are & b. See that in the Urban Dictionary ‘For Shizzle is defined as ‘a term used only by Caucasians to describe something awesome. When someone white wants to sound like a gangster’.
.
Ok everyone your turn. Thanks @mytribeofsix xx

I’ll do whatever it takes to have more children, to hold your siblings my sweet girl. Yesterday was three months without you. .
.
For all those asking how IVF is going - thank you so much for caring! IVF round two is going ok, it is too early to say how successful it is. I have been on Synarel nasal spray for 2.5 weeks and today is Day 5 stims using Puregon. The hormones aren’t messing with me too much although there have been some mood swings and tears but how much of that is missing Mackenzie and how much is IVF? We have a blood test Wednesday to check my levels and a scan/bloods Friday to see how my follicles are doing.
.
.
On top of this I am doing daily yoga (thank you @flowathletic ), weekly accupunture (thank you to the the legend @luke_mcpherson_acupuncture ), weekly massage, low carb/high protein diet plus I am on CoQ10, melatonin, pregnancy supplements and vitamin D... each day we do the injections together in Kenzie’s room. I sit on her feeding chair and we feel she is with us.
.
.
@geneafertility have been amazing. I can not recommend them more. What an amazing team! @kyleandjackieo @jackieo_official 😘 .
.
#mackenziesmemories #ivfjourney #ivf #wishusluck

Dear Husband...
.
.
New blog post up now (link in bio)
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #dearhusband #thankyoumylove #daddy @_jon_cas

Did everyone stay cool today? ☀️
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #chunky #armrolls #summerbaby

Some sunshine today with ‘the legends’ (otherwise known as Jonny and my parents) at one of Kenzie’s favourite spots. I felt you there my sweetheart xx☀️🐠✨
.
.
#mackenziesmemories #northbondifish #bondibeach #alovelydaytoplayinthesunmybabygirl #ifeltyouthere

Most Popular Instagram Hashtags