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Marissa Schatz  More mules fewer tools. || DC ⇄ MAD

Jesus ris close your legs and keep your tongue in your mouth for once. Can't take you anywhere.

Came with Tito's, left with pedialyte. Girls weekend was a success 👩‍👧‍👧

My knee isn't dislocated ok I'm hiding a self tanning mishap

The foot pop is sooo extra for a research symposium ik ik. Ya girl got cocky after schooling someone on climate change ok #srrynotsrry #prairies

She got the zoomed in photo bc it's her birthday. I only perform great sacrifices for great people what can I say #hbd🍾

wow spring break in cancún was so great !!!

Going back to school ain't so bad when ya lil shawtie comes to stay for the week #softsmiles #b4bottomless #stillrecovering

It's not a bikini pic on a beach, but it is a Canadian tuxedo in an art exhibit. Figured you'd appreciate the anomaly in your timeline.


Beer in one hand, black bean burger in the other. Let's see if I can survive March Madness without a heart attack #badgeee #urahrah Obama had us losing wtf Barry #rude

So glad I gave up my seat at the popular coloring table to sit by u back in '01 <3

if I had a dollar for every time a random man asked me if I was cold in the snow ln I could've afforded the damn coat checks

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