mrorlandosoria mrorlandosoria

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Orlando Soria  I'm a human man who lives inside your phone and speaks to you directly. All I like talking about is guys, shopping and the mall. Buy my book!:

YOU GUYS I’M SORRY BUT SOUTH COAST PLAZA IS LITERALLY GORGEOUS. #talbots @southcoastplaza #brassrainbow #drama #ipaidforthis

YOU GUYS!!! Something truly shocking is happening! I’ve been selected as an @allmodern UnEditor! WHAT’S AN UNEDITOR, U ASK? Well take a seat and I’ll tell you. An UnEditor is a human man who lives inside your phone and speaks to you directly, showing you politely how you can use best utilize the amazing variety of furnishings available from @allmodern to transform your home from NASTY to RHINOPLASTY. I’m in really good company, the other UnEditors are: @tessaneustadt @aidamollenkamp @an_erin @hiltoncarter @kdiondesign @newdarlings. Follow along over the coming months as I take my picks from @allmodern and plop them into Chateaulando (my LA apartment) and Casa Soria (my parents’ house). OKAY THAT’S IT NOTHING MORE TO SEE HERE FOLKS CLEAR IT OUT!!! Photo @tessaneustadt #AllModernUnEditors #orSPONdo #ad

RAISE YOUR HAND IF U LOVE @jengotch!!! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️I was looking for a photo to express how much fun I’ve been having shooting #Showlando these past few weeks (one more week to go! Makeover reveal is this coming Friday!). This photo expresses perfectly how fun it’s been to work with @51minds to create a super funny, relatable design show that at its core is about helping people through a tough time. I’ve been making time to workout and always listen to Jen’s amazing podcast “Jen Gotch is OK Sometimes” while I do it. IT’S SO GOOD PLZ GIVE IT A LISTEN. She’s such a gift to us all and we love her. MAY YOUR WEEKEND BE AS RADIANT AS THIS LOVELY WOMAN’S SMILE AND MAY MY PILOT BE A SMASHING SUCCESS THAT SELLS LIKE TEN SEASONS RIGHT OUT THE GATE. Okay bye. Photo courtesy @parachutehome by @carleyscamera (From our fun Jen x Orlando x Parachute Makeover). #myparachutehome #drama #jengotch

You know what? I LOVE BLUE AND I REFUSE TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT IT ANYMORE. This lovely little room started as a guest room and is now where my beautiful son @ryan.pears rests his little eyeballs every night. Side note: my brilliant son, who has an MBA from @columbia_biz and over ten years experience working as an executive in strategy and finance at @disneystudios, is available for hire and on the hunt for a new job. I’m biased, because I gave actual birth to him, but I have to say there’s no higher qualified person IN THE WORLD for any job, anywhere. So if you know of any fun job openings that need filling by sweet genius Sons, comment below, DM me, or just DM @ryan.pears. SO MANY OPTIONS. He needs to make lots of money so he can take care of me when I’m old, K? Photo by @zekeruelas #chateaulando #sons #drama

On September 11, 2001 I was a sophomore at @cornelluniversity and in my first few weeks of being an RA. I walked out of my dorm room at Risley Hall and noticed a bunch of people watching an action film in the student lounge. I thought it was weird to be watching a movie like that so early in the morning but went to class anyway. By the time I walked over the bridge to the art building, news of the World Trade Center attacks had arrived and we were sent home. So I went back to find out that action movie, complete with its explosions and plane crashes, was actually the news. Cornell is a pretty New York-centric school, and a lot of the residents of my dorm were from the city. I just remember feeling overwhelmed with sadness for them as they tried to figure out if their families were okay, feeling totally useless and unable to say anything comforting. I have a strong memory of sitting on one of Cornell’s vast lawns, under a blazing bright sun, calling my parents in California to cry and talk about it (I have no idea what they said, or if they thought I was being crazy, or if they were worried, or what). That day is so distinct in my memory and nothing even happened to me. My heart still breaks for everyone who lost people they love. My heart also breaks for our country, we lost something that day. People of my generation lost the sense we were raised with that nothing bad could ever happen close to home, that the US was somehow safe from warfare, that that only happened in other places. For people around my age and older this is one day burnt into our minds. Taking a moment today to wish peace to everyone who lost a loved one that day. Photo @cornellaap

GOOD MORNING FROM CHATEAULANDO. I recently snagged a ton of plants from @orchardsupply for the living room to bring more oxygen and life into the space. I had so much fun working with Orchard over the past few months and am so bummed they’re going out of business (though I guess now would be a good time to go stock up on stuff you need for your house as they’re having crazy sales to get rid of their stock). I liked this partnership a lot because I am a fan of their smaller, more approachable hardware stores. Some of the giant hardware stores can be so overwhelming and difficult to navigate. Like if you forget to get nails or something you have to walk like twelve miles to go back and get them. I guess the takeaway is that if you like a business you should support it. Here in LA we have some great local hardware stores I’ll be hitting up more. My three faves are Baller Hardware in Silver Lake, Koontz Hardware in West Hollywood, and Anawalt Lumber in West Hollywood. When I moved to LA in 2007, @ormomdo came down to move me in and bought me basically everything I needed at Koontz (they have everything there it’s truly an amazing store). Nothing makes me happier than an old timey hardware store wher you can get spackle AND find a French press (I have my eye on a copper @bodum press at Koontz). We will miss you @orchardsupply and your brand of smaller, easier-to-navigate, happy hardware stores where you could actually find a person to help you find stuff. GO SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL HARDWARE STORES. Okay bye. #chateaulando

This weekend marks five years since my beautiful sister got married in our hometown @yosemitenps, just months before my parents moved out of the house I grew up in. Elisa and Jess got married at the Ahwahnee Hotel (I refuse to call it the new fake corporate overthrow name) and their reception was in our backyard, which is where this photo was taken. @ormomdo customized Elisa’s dress by hand appliqué’ing all that lace to it (you can see more pics of the wedding and the dress on @ormomdo’s account today). Feeling nostalgic today and thankful that I’ve been blessed with two wonderful sister-in-laws (my brother married a great woman as well, also in our backyard). Anyway my whole family is hanging out in Northern California this weekend and I’m bummed because I miss them (mostly Elisa and Jess’ little 10 month old nuggetbaby Camilo) but I’m hard at work prepping design stuff for #Showlando shoots this week. IN OTHER NEWS MY SISTER IS A GLAMOUROUS HAIR STYLIST AND YOU SHOULD GO TO HER IF YOU NEED A CHOP (follow @letshairaboutit for details). YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, THIS STARTED OUT SENTIMENTAL AND THEN TURNED INTO #SPONCON FOR MY SISTER DEAL WITH IT. Okay bye. Photo by @islandfotog #drama

I’ve been cackling myself to sleep every night reading my friend @gibblertron’s brilliant new book FEMINASTY (available now at the link-in-profile). Do yourself a favor this weekend and BUY THIS BOOK. It’s a hilarious take on gender, politics, and culture interwoven with personal stories that keep it fresh, titillating, and delicious. So put down that latte, put on your running shoes, sprint to your nearest book retailer while screaming feminists rants, and BUY THIS BOOK. AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT TOPPLE THE PATRIARCHY. Oh PS bedding is from @parachutehome, my favorite go-to for bedding which also happens to be WOMAN FOUNDED. Okay bye. #feminasty #chateaulando #orlandoprahsbookclub

I’M POSING FOR AN ENGAGEMENT PHOTO WITH @jenrettig11 IMPORTANT REASON. We’ve just wrapped our first week of shooting #Showlando (not the actual title) and it went SHOCKINGLY well. The reason I’m posing with this beautifully lifelike human woman is that without her none of this would have happened. Literally four years ago, she emailed me being like “HAVE U EVER THOUGHT OF DOING TV???” And I was like “DUH HELLO I’M THINKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.” This was actually before Insta stories (which plays into this harrowing tale so remember it for later). Jen and I spent a lot of time together conceptualizing TV show ideas that combined comedy with design. We wrote treatments for them, even shot a whole sizzle reel at #Orcondo for a show called “Dear Design Disaster” that was hilarious but never went anywhere (side note to those of you not in the BIZ: most TV show ideas go nowhere). We tabled the TV show idea for a spell while I got back on my feet post-breakup/layoff/book deadline/book promo. BUT THEN: Like a million producers/production companies/creeps started reaching out to me because of my weird Insta Stories so Jen and I knew we had to get back on it. My fancy agent @meghan.mackenzie sifted through all the production companies and helped us choose the best one and @51minds became the obvious choice because THEY KNOW WHAT’S UP. We just finished filming our first week (today is a prep day) but I’m feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude for this kind lady who came directly through my computer to help me produce all the materials necessary (basically a ton of video and story content) to get this show to its pilot stage. I hate it when “influencers” have moments where they’re all “Pinch me! Is this real?” But if I did believe in pinch me moments this week would be one of them. Maybe let’s just call it a slap me moment so it’s not so cloying and disgusting. LET JEN’S STORY OF COURAGE BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US TO SEEK OUT RANDOM STRANGERS FROM THE INTERNET TO GET THEM ON THE TV. Stay tuned for more updates on #Showlando and PRAY DIRECTLY TO WHATEVER GOD U BELIEVE IN that the network picks it up. Even if they don’t, it’s going to be the best pilot ever made. #drama

Someone asked me where to find solid wood wall-mount shelves so I decided you personally needed to know that info as well. My homie @swabyjustin made these for me (also, he’s shooting a cameo on #Showlando this week!), using lumber he sourced locally and brackets I picked up at @ikeausa. If you have a good handyman this is a great option that isn’t crazy expensive. For readymade shelving I love basically everything @rejuvenation has. They’ve got luscious brass brackets and gorgeous solid wood shelves ready to go. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I am. No one is paying me or anything. Speaking of which, can I have some money? It’s a holiday weekend and all I wanna do is SHOP. The End. Photo @zekeruelas #orcondo #rip #orlanDIY

WOULDN’T IT BE FUN TO DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND WIGGLE ALL OVER THIS ROOM STARING AT THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN AND JUDGING PEOPLE ON THE STREETS BELOW AS THEY WALK BY??? That pretty much sums up my Labor Day weekend plans. Except not in this glamorous apartment. And without the champagne. And with no view of the Hollywood sign. Okay so not like this at all. I’m gonna be sitting on a sofa eating some Mary’s Gone Crackers, imagining everyone else partying on a boat without me, wondering when my life will begin. Speaking of beautiful people on boats, this lovely home belongs to @oliviaculpo and I designed it for her in collaboration with @homepolish + @hayneedle (where you can find all this lovely furniture). See? YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. This post went from being aspirational, to depressing, to #SponCon, to inspiring. YOU’RE WELCOME AMERICA ENJOY YOUR LABOR!!! And remember, keep Laboring, that’s what this holiday is all about! Photo Labor by @zekeruelas #oliviaculpo #celebrityhomes #drama

SOMEONE JUST DM’D ME A QUESTION ABOUT HOW TO ADD TREATMENTS TO BAY WINDOWS SO I’M GONNA ANSWER IT HERE AND HOPE SHE SEES BC THAT’S HOW THE INTERNET WORKS. It’s pretty confusing to figure out how to cover windows like this. Do you put a drape over the whole thing? (No). Do you put three individual drapery rods with three sets of curtains? (No). There’s actually a lot of solutions you could do here. If you wanted drapes you’d have to get a custom rod (they make them where the rings don’t go all the way around leaving space for mounting hardware). Or you could do a ceiling-mount type track system that allows drapes to sweep to the side. Most store-bought rods would have hardware that forced you to have drapery panels on every window, which gets clunky and annoying and will leave you screaming at the ceiling. I chose to do individual roman shades on each window which I like very much (mine came from @loomdecor). Luckily I had space to do an inside mount so it looks seamless. I think romans or some kind of wooden blind are the simplest solution for bay windows like this. But there could be solutions I’m not thinking of. CAN U THINK OF ANY? In other news, do you know why Roman shades are called Roman? ALSO I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ROME I WANT A VACATION. The End. Photo by @zekeruelas from my heartwarming book, “Get It Together!” (Avail at the link-in-prof!). #RESPOND #chateaulando #drama