mrorlandosoria mrorlandosoria

2,844 posts   157,606 followers   574 followings

Orlando Soria  I'm a human man who lives inside your phone and speaks to you directly. All I like talking about is guys, shopping and the mall. Buy my book!:

I had the most wonderful time last night at my book signing at @thesocialtype where a lovely group (of mostly friends) showed up to support me and my book, “Get It Together!” The most meaningful moment of the night was when a very kind woman named Julie chatted with me and told me how much she admires @ormomdo and how she appreciated me sharing her with everyone. She told me how inspiring it was to see what my mom is up to, how she is constantly learning and making things, how she maintains her relationships with her kids and grandkids, how older people are often made to feel invisible and how nice it is to see them represented as actual complicated and interesting people with so much going on and so much to offer. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to hear that. I started sharing content about my mom because I wanted her to know how loved and important she is. As long as I can remember she’s struggled with terrible self esteem and has felt she didn’t measure up, that somehow there was something strange or unacceptable about her. I never fully understood that because it’s not at all what I saw in her. She’s spent so many years hating herself, I just wanted her to know what a magical lady she is. She’s a hero to my siblings and me - we love her to pieces and strive to be as talented and smart as she is. She’s an incredibly accomplished woman, well-educated and hardworking, who learned to speak Japanese in the middle of life and has spent most of her adult life striving to learn more about different cultures around the world and trying her best to help other people, whether they be neighbors or people in far away places. Julie, thanks so much for talking to me last night and thank you for seeing all the wonderful things about my mom I’ve always known are true. I’m hoping more and more she is able to see them herself. Photo @zekeruelas

Y’OLL REMEMBER MY HOLIDAYSCAPE FROM LAST YEAR??? Me neither. Here’s a trick I’ve learned over years of holiday photo shoots: if there’s an awkward area you’re not sure what to do with, dump a whole bunch of bottle brush trees all over it and everyone will think you’re an actual genius. They’re the perfect way to fill a void and trick other people into thinking you know what you’re doing. Also, people ask me about my sofa all the time. It’s a vintage 80s sofa from @wertzbrothers and when I found it it was a mess of crazy plaid and scalloped upholstery. But I saw something special within it, so I took it to the upholsterer and had him rip it to shreds and rebuild it as the most beautiful, popular girl in school. It had the bones of something beautiful, but was neglected and allowed to remain ugly and disgusting over the years. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US THAT IT’S WHAT’S INSIDE THAT COUNTS. Especially if what’s inside is foam and wood and stuff. Okay bye. Photo @zekeruelas #hohoholando #Chateaulando #shesallthat #rachelleighcook #makeover #laneyboggs

It’s kinda weird but the totally fake and unrealistic styling I did for this interior shot of my parents’ @bertazzoniitalia fridge brings me so much joy. In order to shoot this I had to take everything out of @ormomdo and #orlandad’s fridge and put it into coolers in the dining room. I guess this just makes me wish I didn’t eat food and every time I opened the fridge it was color coordinated and filled with refreshing @sanpellegrino_us bottles and ready-to-eat caprese salads that somehow magically never wilt. If you think about it, all us normal people with our gross ass opened containers of pickles and three year old ketchup are disgusting. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US THAT WE ARE GROSS AND REVOLTING AND DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE IN THE SAME WORLD AS THIS GLAMOUREFRIGERATOR’S INTERIOR. Okay bye. Photo @zekeruelas #victim #CasaSoria #wereallgarbage

One of my favorite trees of all time was this 1958-made aluminum tree. I found it at the flea market with @em_henderson in the middle of the summer and spent the following months waiting anxiously to put it up. These trees aren’t really made to be decorated, they’re mostly made to act as disco balls, reflecting colored light from a nearby rotating spotlight (sold separately). So adding ornaments can be a challenge. Each of these needed to be individually wired to the tree. And I couldn’t use heavy ornaments as each of these branches is pretty delicate. The solution was lots of lightweight glass ball ornaments and a bunch of wax paper stars. I grew up crafting these wax paper stars with @ormomdo, they are fun and easy to make (from grocery store wax paper, adhered together with clear double-sided tape). They make a pretty addition to a window, entryway, or a weak ass Christmas tree. Okay bye! Photo @danielcollopyphoto #hohoholando

The fresh and airy kitchen at Casa Soria. Originally, we wanted to extend the wood flooring that’s everywhere else in the home into the kitchen so the floor matched everywhere. But we would have had to refinish the flooring in that entire level of the house to do so, so a wood-floored kitchen became cost prohibitive. This ended up being a lucky circumstance, however, because it gave us the opportunity to install some very beautiful concrete tiles from @rusticotile (this is their 6x12 in “Clam”). I love tile in kitchens and this tile brings so much warmth into the kitchen while keeping it bright and happy. Because the backsplash has such a graphic pattern, I wanted something a little quieter on the floor (which is why I chose to color match the grout). LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US THAT SOMETIMES THINGS THAT SEEM LIKE SETBACKS LEAD TO GORGEOUS TILE FLOORS YOU WANT TO HUG AND KISS. The End. Photo @zekeruelas #CasaSoria #ormomdokitchen #drama

HAPPY MODERN DAYS YOU GUYS!!! I have an exciting announcement. I’m teaming up with @allmodern for an EXTREMELY EXCITING giveaway. Here’s how it works: share a photo of your home, tag #happymoderndays and follow @allmodern. One lucky winner will win a $1000 gift card to AllModern, which, as you know, has literally EVERYTHING you could possibly want to make your home super chic for 2019. To get Chateaulando holiday ready, I snagged this bar cart from @allmodern and styled it with my gay fingers. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH $1000 FROM ALLMODERN??? Find out by entering our VERY IMPORTANT CONTEST today. Okay bye. #Chateaulando #HappyModernDays #AllModern

HONK!!! @kellyoxford posted this pic yesterday but I flipped it backwards to trick you into thinking it was new. DID IT WORK??? Let this be a lesson to all of us that everything on the internet is a lie and that the only facts we can all agree on is that Kelly is a beautiful, realistic wax figure and I am a Dad. I took the weekend off from my very busy schedule of hermiting to attend like seventy million holiday parties and it was, shockingly, fun. I’m realizing more and more that what comes naturally to me is being an introvert. I feel taxed by making small talk with strangers and asking the same questions over and over and over only to have them ask like zero in return. But I’m making a point to counteract my natural desire to want to hide inside, under a blanket, watching “100% Hotter” on @netflix (if you haven’t seen it YOU MUST IT’S SO TERRIBLE AND AMAZING) and text gossiping about guys with @kellyoxford. So I’ve been going to events and parties more and it’s kind of reminding me that I am a pretty capable-of-talking human being and that sometimes strangers aren’t awful (although most of the time they are). Anyway, Happy Honda Days, you guys! I hope Santa brings you a friend like Kelly who will stand by you while you eat chips at the snack table without judging you. THE END. Photo by The Most Beautiful Lucille Ball Impersonator I’ve Ever Seen, @lishasbrooks 🤶🏻

IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP AND TAKE A DELICIOUS, CHUNKY BITE OUT OF A PIPING HOT CUP OF COFFEE WHILST SITTING NEXT TO A CRACKLING FIRE, CACKLING ABOUT THE PAST. Some of my favorite holiday decor is the subtle type. A big ass vase filled with olive branches is a great way to trick your guests into thinking you are wealthy and powerful, possessing the ability to ruin their careers and social lives if you felt like it (but you don’t feel like it today - HAPPY HOLIDAYS!). Holiday decorating doesn’t have to be hard. All I did here was flail my arms around while acting flustered, using push pins to attach that garland to the wall and plopping a branch on the coffee table for a little pop of green. You can do it you guys! I believe in you. Okay bye. Photo @tessaneustadt #hohoholando #orcondo #rip

Please enjoy this cozy Christmas moment. This is my old bedroom in my Selma Heights apartment. I borrowed this small feather tree from @ormomdo and also borrowed all her ornaments. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US THAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR OWN ORNAMENTS YOU CAN ALWAYS STEAL THEM FROM YOUR MOMS WHO PROBABLY HAVE TOO MANY ANYWAY. Photo @danielcollopyphoto #hohoholando

HAPPY MODERN DAYS YOU GUYS! As I’ve already screamed about, I partnered with @allmodern this year to deck the halls at Casa Soria and Chateaulando. For the family room at my parents’ house, we went with this HAPPY + JOYFUL little tree. The larger Christmas tree in the sitting room has all the colorful ornaments @ormomdo has collected over the years but for this smaller tree we wanted to do a more monochromatic, curated look. So Ormomdo made gingerbread snowflake cookies and I helped decorate them (check out piping skills in detail shots I’ve shared in my stories today). The adorable animal stockings and cute light-up houses are from @allmodern as well. Now get thee to a living room, wrap yourself up in blankets until you become an actual human burrito, then scream at the top of your lungs about how long and stupid this week has been. YOU CAN DO IT I BELIEVE IN YOU. Okay bye. #CasaSoria #HappyModernDays #AllModern

One of the decisions I’ve gotten the most criticism for in the makeover of my parents’ kitchen is mixing metals. Many blog readers were dismayed that I used brass lighting, black cabinet hardware, and brushed nickel faucet hardware. BUT HERE’S A LITTLE KNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I THINK MATCHING IS STUPID. I don’t wanna come into your house and see a matching bedroom set. And I don’t want to be confined by some 90s Matchy Matchy Froofy Designer rule that you can only use one kind of metal finish in a room. The design inspiration of this whole kitchen was the stunning @bertazzoniitalia range, which mixes a matte black finish with stainless steel trim pieces. To reference this black-and-silver color scheme, I combined beautiful faucet hardware from @kallistaplumbing with handsome cabinet hardware from @schoolhouse. The brass fixtures (this one is from @rejuvenation) provided a pop of brass. For some reason brass faucets freaked @ormomdo out, but brass lighting didn’t. So in order to bring in another finish and make the room feel even more cozy and eclectic, I added brass lighting. I’ve been writing things on the internet for a very long time, so I’m used to people not always liking my design choices. But this one I had to speak up on because confusion over mixing metals is something I see with clients all the time. Some people like it and some people don’t and that’s fine. IN OTHER NEWS THAT PATTERNED ROMAN SHADE (from @theshadestore) DESERVES AN OSCAR FOR BEST PICTURE. Okay bye. Photo @zekeruelas #CasaSoria #ormomdokitchen #drama

YOU GUYS!!! I know I’ve been promoting my book a lot and I’M SORRY OK BUT THIS IS WHO I AM. But I have some exciting news to share with you! People who have attended my blockbuster book signings in New York and LA received really fun, customized, signed books filled with notes and doodles from me. But thus far I’ve had a hard time figuring out how to make that available nationwide to people who don’t live in one of those cities. BUT HARK AN ANGEL HAS ARRIVED JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS AND HER NAME IS @thesocialtype!!! My friends at The Social Type have kindly agreed to ship out signed books anywhere in the country. I will sign them, adding personalized notes and doodles, at our event December 13 and they will ship out and arrive in time for Christmas. So if you can’t make it to my signing next week (6-8 PM December 13 at The Social Type in Silver Lake) then you can order a book at the link-in-profile. Add any message requests to the “Special Instructions” box AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO WRITE SOMETHING FUNNY/CUTE/SCARY IN IT. This book makes a great gift for anyone in your life who loves design, has been dumped ever, likes to LOL, likes pretty pictures, likes stick figures, needs a blue book to create the perfect book stack, or wants to use my dumb book as kindling for a crackling fire. ORDER AT THE LINK IN PROFILE OR I WILL LITERALLY LOSE MY MIND. Photo by @zekeruelas okay bye. #GetItTogetherOrlando #thesocialtype #hohoholando

Most Popular Instagram Hashtags