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mrorlandosoria mrorlandosoria

2515 posts   118260 followers   834 followings

Orlando Soria  I'm a human man who lives inside your phone and talks to you. All I like talking about is guys, shopping and the mall.


You guys! It’s me, the human man that lives in your phone and speaks to you directly! It’s that time of the year again! The time to sprint around your house holding a tray of spirited decorations that will make your house so spooky and terrifying, you’ll wake up screaming every morning! I like to haphazardly throw pumpkins all over the place then keep adding a skulls until I’m adequately scared. But you can decorate your own way, because everyone is an individual! Anyway, I gotta go now. Also, I’m gay. Okay bye. #horrorlando #momimgay #traygays #orcondo #rip #whateverimalone

Halloween decorating doesn’t have to be lame and gross! Simply take an unpainted skeletonhead you bought at the craft shop and plop it onto the wall! Then surround it with other harvest-themed garbage. It’s that easy! #horrorlando #happyhalloween #momsagree #inspo #loser

The last week has been positively spooky! First, my parents’ house almost burnt down like 30 times as a giant wildfire engulfed their entire region and they were evacuated over and over and over (they’re still evacuated in fact). Then, an alien exploded out of my sister as she sat there screaming. Just kidding it wasn’t an alien it was a human baby. I have a new nephew! Finally, my friend I’ve known forever moved into Chateaulando and is currently acclimating to how often I like to talk about my feelings (always). I haven’t done any dumb decorating for Halloween this year but I do still stand by this super spooktacular ghost #orMOMdo showed me how to make a few years ago. Anyway, feeling thankful my parents’ and brother’s homes have survived thus far (they’re not totally in the clear yet but it seems like the fires are more under control). And obviously thankful for another nephew to squeeze. OK THAT’S ALL BYE. #horrorlando #spooky #sensitiveboyscrying

Back home in LA. I always love traveling through the beautiful airport in San Francisco. These dreamy Norie Sato cloud sculptures brighten up the terminal and distract you from how stressful traveling can be. HAPPY FRIDAY OK BYE!

Heading back to LA (via SFO, the Sonoma County airport is being used for firefighting aircraft, etc) this afternoon. I don’t feel great about leaving but not sure what else I can do up here. I’m thankful that people keep asking for updates but sad there aren’t many to give at this point. This whole region is still in danger as fires are at zero or very low containment. My parents neighborhood (shown here) was under a thick cloud of smoke that cleared a bit as the day wore on. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not. There’s not a whole lot of relief up here as people understand a change in wind patterns could decimate their homes pretty quickly. There’s also no relief in finding out your neighbor’s house burned instead of yours. It’s a very somber situation and every time we’ve gone out people have been walking around like zombies, exchanging stories, discussing whether their area has been evacuated or burned. Both my parents’ neighborhood and my brother’s are under voluntary evacuation. When we heard about the evacuation yesterday we spent more time going through my parents’ house sorting through which items to pack up and which to let burn. It was a completely surreal experience. My siblings and I have moved around quite a bit, our whole family’s history lives in there. The weight of loss (of homes, memories, businesses, local landmarks, and most tragically of lives) is heavy up here. Feeling grateful for safety, for the brave work of the firefighters and first responders, yet nauseous with worry about what’s coming. Still hoping for the best...

The winds finally died down a bit and we’re hoping that means firefighters can get a hold on all these fires. We didn’t sleep well, imagining the countless people the night before who were rushed from their homes already in flames, unable to grab anything to take with them. I am so heartbroken for these families who have lost everything. So much loss this year, across the US and around the world. This whole year feels like it’s been one long natural disaster. My parents’ house is still standing but it’s not in the clear. It’s really hard to get info about what’s going on but we are hoping for the best. Went with my parents up to my brother’s house (he lives about 25 minutes north in Windsor, another small wine country town) to charge phones, computers, etc. Glad I was randomly up here for this, I think I’d be worried if I weren’t. Sending healing to everyone who has lost their homes so far and hope to everyone who is still in danger.

My parents’ surreally idyllic suburban neighborhood got even more surreal this morning when the entire surrounding area started on fire in a matter of hours. I’m up here visiting and was awakened early this morning by someone banging on the door telling us to prepare for evacuation. There are fires all over Sonoma and Napa counties and the wind isn’t helping. Spent the early morning hours packing up photo albums, art, and anything that would fit into the car. Now sitting here waiting to see if this neighborhood gets evacuated and hoping for the best. Sad for all the Sonoma/Napa families and businesses that have already lost property to the flames. Scary stuff...

My trip to Minneapolis to learn about the design and manufacturing process of @cambriaquartz is one of many I’ve done this year to get an in-depth look into all of the materials going into my parents new kitchen. It’s been a really fun experience because it’s made a personal project even more personal - I know the origins of all of the items going into the new kitchen because I’ve been to their factories to see them made. I’ve used simple white quartz (this one in particular is Cambria White Cliffs) before and I’m excited to share this resource because finding a nice simple white without a lot of dumb speckles in it is harder than you’d think. Here’s what I learned from visiting this factory. One: (most important to me) these beautiful, durable countertops are made in the US from materials sourced in North America. This is important to me because if you’re paying a decent amount for a high-quality material you don’t want to find out later it was made by sweatshop laborers in terrible working conditions. I loved touring the clean, bright factories and meeting people who take pride in what they do. Two. The countertop game has evolved a ton since this company was founded in 2000. Looking at their designs through the years you can see how much kitchen style has changed over the past 17 years (it’s kind of insane how quickly it’s moved forward). Three. It’s always inspiring to meet people who are proud of what they do, even if it’s not something I can imagine doing myself. I can’t imagine myself working in marketing for a countertop surface company, but the Cambria people were so passionate about what they do and I have so much respect for that. Whatever you do, taking pride in your work and doing your best to create the best possible product/service for your clients is admirable. I’m not a countertop nerd, but the people who work at this company are and I love that. If you’re doing a kitchen reno and looking for surface/finish inspo check out the @cambriaquartz Insta and reach out to them if you need help sourcing. And follow along over the next few months as the orMOMdo/orlanDAD kitchen makeover gets going. Ok bye. #ormomdokitchen #spon @homepolish @tessaneusta

I miss this kitchen and the guy I shared it with. And I’ve been finding myself looking at pictures of it a lot, doing research for my parents’ kitchen makeover. It’s kind of satisfying to look back on this project, but mostly just painful and sad. Something that isn’t painful and sad is all the fun research I’ve gotten to do for this orMOMdo/orlanDAD Kitchen reno. I’ve been to the @bertazzoniitalia factory in Italy, I’ve checked out the @fireclaytile factory in Northern California, I’ve wandered around the @getredwood lumber mill in Sonoma County and today I’m visiting the home of @cambriaquartz (Minneapolis) and touring the factory where it’s all made. Anyway I guess the moral of the story is that if you’re heartbroken and giving up on life you should become an annoying lifestyle blogger, do a sponsored makeover for your parents kitchen, take a million fascinating factory tours, and pretend the past never happened BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS TOTALLY FINE NOW I PROMISE OK??? Okay bye. #orcondo #rip #designtherapy #spon #kinda #whateverimalone #hommealone #remodelmylife #K #hashtag

In high school when I was feeling angsty I used to skulk around this river to clear my head. I’m not particularly angsty this very moment, but I could def go for an autumn stroll right now. Listening to news has me like 🤷‍♂️ what can you do? We just keep repeating the same things over and over with no change or result. Kinda depressing. #lasvegas

I'm not a morning person, but I've been waking up super early all week for a thrilling reason (to step in as a guest designer on a very fun TV show). It's making me miss bed. Like any bed tbh, including this one which basically doesn't exist anymore because I don't live there no mo. I'm too tired to be funny so hopefully I'm not being totally boring on camera okay bye. #zzzzzz #orcondo #rip {Photo @tessaneustadt x @homepolish}


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