mrorlandosoria mrorlandosoria

2407 posts   102917 followers   790 followings

Orlando Soria  All I like talking about is guys, shopping and the mall. Currently waddling around California.

http://www.hommemaker.com/

I HAVE MAJOR SENIORITIS AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GRADUATE FROM THIS WEEK TBH IS IT WEEKENDTIMEZ YET. 📸👱🏻‍♀️@tessaneustadt + @homepolish

PLZ ALLOW ME TO FORCE U TO SOOTHE AND RELAX URSELF BY FEASTING UR EYES UPON THESE GIGANTIC COMFY SOFAS THAT WOULD LOVE 2 SNUGGLE WITH U. K BYE. [Photo @tessaneustadt x @homepolish]

You guyz, this is how my brain works. I Googled myself because I was putting together a presentation for a *super exciting Orlando Soria/Hommemaker product opp* then I found this old project I did and was like "Oh my god I forgot about this!" Then I was like "I have to share this with my homiez." And now here we are, I just made you a little slideshow instead of doing my presentation. So if you're supposed to be working on a presentation rn, look at this instead. It's a DIY giant paint-by-numbers I made for my old bedroom. It took forevz, but it was worth it. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go work on OH LOOK A BIRD. #victim #hommemadeart #hommemakerdesign photos by @seanginphotography

U GUYZ I THINK SOMEONE KIDNAPPED #ORMOMDO. I woke up and both my parents are gone. I know that my dad is on a golf trip and I know my mom told me she was going somewhere but I wasn't paying attention so now I don't know where she is. So the only assumption I can make is that she was kidnapped. Anyway if you see my mom tell her to text me I'm home alone working on my book and there's no one to sit next to me distracting me every two minutes to talk about sewing. I guess I could text her but I don't feel like it and she probably left her phone in the car anyway. In other news, this is probz the most exciting week of my entire life because this weekend is MemDay and I have to finish my second draft of the first half of Hommemaker Book/"You're Doing It Wrong"/whatever it's called by EOD today. Then this weekend there's gonna be a friend explosion and the coming together of multiple worlds (high school peeps plus LA BBs all togethz). What're ur MemDay planz??? #ormomdo #ilivewithmyparents #fullygrownadulthumanmale Photo @bethanynauert x @homepolish

I sat upon a rattan chair and thought to myself, "Where does that door really lead to?" And a booming voice blasted from the sky, "TO THE WEEKEND, YOU IDIOT!" Plz make sure to get crazy this weekend. I'll be writing my book and hanging with my Bestiez (my parents) and it's gonna be off the hook tbh. Whatever's going on in ur life, plz remember one thing: WE MUST RAGE. Because if one hasn't raged, did one really have a weekend at all? #thoughtz2ponder #ilivewithmyparents #fullygrownadulthumanmale #plzrage {Photo babes: @tessaneustadt + @homepolish}

JUST A REMINDER IF U DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO HANG A PORTRAIT OF A JONI MITCHELL WITCH LADY ABOVE UR BED AND ALL PROBLEMZ WILL DISSOLVE. [Photo @tessaneustadt x @homepolish]. #orlandesign #hommemadebedrooms #beachhouse

YOU GUYS THE FUNNEST THING IS HAPPENING ON MY INSTA STORIES!!! I asked people to help me name my book (that I'm literally writing RIGHT NOW) and they're not only voting on my suggestions but coming up with even more hilarious ideas. So far "You're Doing It Wrong" is winning but I'm also a huge fan of these two follower submissions: "Hey, I'm a Pig, But Maybe This Guy Can Help?" and "Your House Is Gross, I'm Not Sure If I Can Help You But I'll Try?" (I love that these both end with question marks tbh). Head to my stories to see the dumb title ideas floating around and submit your own in the comments. These suggestions have been making me LOLz all day long. #blessed #victim #ofyourhumor {photo @tessaneustadt x @homepolish} 🙃

I'd like to take a break from my regularly-scheduled yelling to scream something very important: KICK ASS ART CAN TAKE A ROOM FROM FLAB 2 FAB IN A MATTER OF MILLISECONDS. I found this gilded screen at a flea market, plopped it on my guest bedroom wall, and created the coziest space in history. AND SO CAN YOU! So get to it! [photo @zekeruelas x @homepolish from the upcoming Hommemaker Book]. #orcondo #rip #guestbedroom ... PS WALL COLOR IS "SLEIGH BELLS" by @benjaminmoore AND IT'S A FOOLPROOF GREY FOR LIGHT/BRIGHT ROOMS OKAY GOODBYE FOR REAL THIS TIME.

Despite the fact that I'm having a mega panic attack that I have about sixteen minutes to finish my book and about nine thousand pages left to write, I am literally living my best life up at my parents' house. While I may appear to be a full-on lunatic if you're watching me on my Insta stories, I'm slowly returning to normal and enjoying life up here. This has been a very productive few weeks and there's like a million fun things in the pipeline when I get back to LA. If I ever go back (I kinda don't wanna tbh). JK I will be returning I guess. Maybe. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF THAT IT'S WAY MORE FUN TO CHILL WITH YER MOMZ AND DADZ THAN IT IS TO SIT IN YOUR OWN DUMB HOUSE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. Okay bye. #ilivewithmyparents #whatislifetbh #tbh {Photo @homepolish x @tessaneustadt}

THE SIGN'S SUPPOSED TO SAY "FARM" BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAY MORE EDGY AND COOL IF IT JUST SAID "ARM." #victim #🔪 #💪

YOU GUYZ. Writing is DRAGGING today. Turns out churning pages and pages and pages for days on end is hard/imposs. So I came to my happy place (@healdsburgshed) to see if this glamourous (yet warm and inviting) interior would spark some good ideas. ALSO I HAD LIKE TEN BUSINESSLADY MEETINGS THIS AM, A RANDOM SKYPE AUDITION, A CROSSFIT MOMENT, AND A VERY IMPORTANT COMMERCIAL FOR @marysgonecrackers SO MY DAY'S NOT ALL BAD. #victim

Mondays are a great day to stare blankly at the wall, eyes glazed over, daydreaming about all the fun you had over the weekend and all the fun you'll have this coming weekend. This is why it's important to paint your wall a pretty color. Like I did here for this @kellyoxford x @homepolish office makeover. The wall color is 'Antigua Aqua' by @benjaminmoore and it's the perfect blend of minty/aqua that doesn't go too green or too blue. So stop what you're doing, throw your computer on ground, scream "I'M LEAVING!" at your boss, go get yourself some paint, and get to painting. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE GONNA STARE OFF INTO SPACE THAT SPACE BETTER BE BEAUTIFUL. Photo @bethanynauert x @homepolish

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