mrorlandosoria mrorlandosoria

2483 posts   112186 followers   814 followings

Orlando Soria  All I like talking about is guys, shopping and the mall. Currently waddling around California.

http://hommemaker.com/

I BET U ANYTHING MY HOUSEPLANTS ARE ALREADY TRILLING WITH ANTICIPATION ABOUT THE GREAT AMERICAN ECLIPSE, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE LIKE A THOUSAND MILES FROM THE #ZONEOFTOTALITY OK BYE. 🌚🌝

Woke up at 4:15 to start our drive to Oregon for Eclipse USA 2017. So far, no disasters, aside from all the gas stations in Weed, California running out of gas and #orMOMdo yelling at me that Yreka (a small town on the way) is pronounced "WHY-reka," which makes me so mad and is so stupid tbh. We stopped for lunch in Ashland, Oregon, where we used to come for the annual Shakespeare festival when I was little, and ended up waddling into this gorgeous shop called Nest where I wanted everything and bought literally nothing. Now we're sitting in a gorgeous park eating a delicious chewy-yet-crusty baguette that we bought Nancy-Meyers-movie-style in an adorable bakery filled will people wearing hippie costumes. This solar eclipse chase is really just me, living my best life tbh. Now, if you'll excuse me, we must continue driving toward the ZONE OF TOTALITY. If that's not a metaphor for my whole life, I'm not sure what is. Also I just drank rosé illegally in a park. #basic #zoneoftotality #existence #ormomdo #eclipse

Union Station is beautiful inside and out. LIKE ME. #victim

Taking my Boyfriend (bag) on a top secret adventure today, starting at one of my favorite places in LA. Union Station is like if Spanish Colonial Revival and Art Deco got wine-wasted and made a baby. A gorgeous, well preserved baby that never cries and always welcomes you with her beauty and glamour. Where am I going? I'M NOT TELLING. But I will tell you that when you find out you will be thrilled and delighted. Okay bye. {PS bag is from @ghurkausa and I make out with him daily}. #orlandifornia #hommealone #unionstation

I WAS HAVING A WEIRD WEEK SO I WENT TO GET A HAIRCUT FROM MY BARBER WHO LOOKS LIKE GASTON AND THEN I FORCED HIM TO PLAY MY BOYFRIEND IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH OK BYE. {If you want your own Gaston haircut see @adamzelasko at @justinhardinghair} #victim #ipaidforthis #madamegastoncantujustseeit #nosir #notme #iwantmuchmorethanthisprovinciallife

Visited Barcelona a year ago and immediately fell in love with the people and places that make this one of the most magical cities on earth. Too much unfathomable news lately. Love and healing.

At 6 AM I awoke from a spooky dream that a man was standing directly outside my second story window saying my name and then I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and flossed my teeth. That's it. That's the whole story. Also what was I thinking when I styled this photo? Are people supposed to sit down and pour that water into those shallow plates? Then eat that whole bowl of apples in the background? YOU GUYS NOTHING MAKES SENSE AND EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS. Ok bye. #positivethoughts #inspo #theresamanoutsidemywindow photo @homepolish

This week's Wednesday is brought to you by the letter "W," which stands for "Wainscoting," "Winona Ryder," and "WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS LEAF BLOWERS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW BUFFETING MY EARS WHILE I TRY TO WORK???" #positivevibes #inspo #zen photo @tessaneustadt x @homepolish

Just a gentle reminder that my sofa used to be nasty but now she's gorgeous and popular (flip through to the next pic to see the "before"). LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF US THAT WE CAN BE EXACTLY WHO WE WANT TO BE NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. Even if we started out gross and plaid and mega-scalloped like my dumb sofa. Okay bye. #chateaulando #nastytorhinoplasty #transformationtuesday

ONE TIME I FOUND AN UGLY OLD PAINTING AND PAINTED GOLD OVER HALF OF IT TO FREAK OUT MY CLIENTS AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS. It was fun. Speaking of fun I had the funnest weekend ever (I danced!) and now I'm dead. Happy Monday or whatever. Photo @bethanynauert x @homepolish

KITCHEN UPDATE: I don't recommend wooden countertops (I put this one in on a budget crunch while recently redoing my kitchen). Mine are already showing their age around the sink DESPITE THE FACT THAT I'M CONSTANTLY DRYING THEM OFF LIKE A PSYCHOPATH AND WAXING THEM OVER AND OVER. I do recommend a nice striped roman shade. This one from @loomdecor makes me happy every day and also keeps the beating sun out of my eyeballs while I make coffee in the morning. ALSO I HAVE EATEN SO MANY SALADS THIS SUMMER I'M MINUTES AWAY FROM TRANSFORMING INTO A GIANT LETTUCE LEAF. #victim #chateaulando #hommemadekitchens {photo @zekeruelas}

I WOKE UP, IMMEDIATELY SHOT UP TO A 90 DEGREE ANGLE, AND SCREAMED AT THE BEAUTY OF MY JAPANESE SCREEN. #victim #chateaulando #sourcestagged

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