motherfknteresa motherfknteresa

255 posts   1,206 followers   200 followings

  501c3 Charity Founder. Philanthropist. Helicopter Pilot. Car enthusiast. Animal Rescue. Inappropriately dry/dark humor.

My 70lb dick. #thatswhathesaid #noarmsnoproblem #cripplethreat #specialneedsanimalrescue #teamjasper #dogsofinsta #handicappeddogs #americanfoxhound @animalorthocare Soooooooo disappointed in myself for not yelling "unreal" after he PSH'd me that hard πŸ˜”@edbassmaster

Pic 1- How you look at the world.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Pic 2- How you look at the world.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Pic 3- How you look at the world.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Pic 4- How you look at me.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
Love can bring the meanest beast to their knees.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣#mcm #amillionmilesaway #operatorasfuck #blackrifle #beardedvillains #fitfam (I'm sorry πŸ˜‚) #myfam

Yeah, no... you're right- I don't need the bed remote. I'll just sleep in this position. If you could just keep your balls and bad looks to yourself, sir. #noarms #yesballs

Matched with a guy on Tinder named "DudePetThatDog." Every picture was him, playing with strangers dogs. I came straight in and asked him if he wanted to "talk about our problem." This is the kind of dating I'm trying to do in 2019.

"It doesn't even matter..." - @chrisdelia

Telling someone about pain that's never ACTUALLY felt any. They say "cool. I'll cry in my Ferrari." That's because you don't know what crying is, you dick. You want to know strength? Try smiling in your Toyota. But you can stay confused. I'll be who you call one day when you actually feel pain. But I won't answer.

Plot twist: that English Bulldog just fucked his main and side bitch after pounding a fifth of whiskey. He's only at the fence line to take a dump. He's not staring out of jealousy, he's planning the demise of the most Vineyard Vine collar wearin, brunch havin, rosΓ© sippin, boomerang pic taking breed ever. The owner def drives a Tesla and the chick taking the pic totally has "fit" somewhere in her Instagram name πŸ™„ Y'all are gonna make me come through this goddamn phone.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ But if I hear that "I'll only date dudes with πŸ’°" when the last couple were like an HVAC guy a goddamn farmer then y'all gonna see "crazy." πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Alright, here is everyone's ONE chance to get their jab in. #textsfromdodgeowners #suchassholes #ford #f350 #6oh #powerstroke #diesel #17inchlift #46inchtires ❀️ Thanks @woodsready and @thecalebadams for being there to help get it on the truck ❀️ Thanks Barbour Towing for having the only truck capable of towing mine πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

Headed to Virginia to get fitted for prosthetic arms @animalorthocare with the genius himself, Derrick Campana! Been waiting two years for this moment! 10 hour drive in a truck that gets 6.4mpgs, is ear piercing loud and death wobbles between 1-100mph. Worth it all. #teamjasper

We can't ALL be drive-thru famous. πŸ™„ #shitdontfit #ford #f350 #diesel #17inchlift #46inchtires #smalltownlife #southernhospitality @bustarut @dippindave_ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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