monnaaahh monnaaahh

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Mona Ahmed  I am always down for breakfast, love photos, and am proud of my Egyptian roots~ Here's to being cliche and indulging in music, friends and coffee!

I’ve met you at a dozen shores—and no meeting could ever be replicated. A soul disconnected at the foot of your vast and gracious elegance. I never thought I’d find myself where the sky meets ocean and smoke sears your blank face. Can you imagine that today has no bearing on who we were even just yesterday—isn’t that a scary and exciting thought?

2018. Our first time in NYC together.🍏A lifetime isn’t enough to express my love for you... I am the luckiest to have a best friend as caring, forthcoming and open as you are. We’re opposites in many ways—and I fucking love it! While I’m ready to jump headfirst into anything, you remind me that diligent preparation is quintessential to the longevity of success. Do you remember swimming in your dad’s green pool? Ah...what a dream pre-period days were when we didn’t think about UTIs or bacterial infections...✨💭

2018. Dad with all his siblings post Eid Al Adha. The first time I can remember rolling up to my family’s apartment—the one everyone in this photo grew up in—it was a warm night with a musty smell. The air hit my face almost as fast as the boisterous warm hugs of all the excited people I was too young to remember. My cousins sat around and taught me simple, loving words like بوسة and حب. Even now I know my Arabic is hilarious, but I love the feeling of learning it in a new way every time I go back. Mostly, I’m so grateful I know just enough that I can express my love and gratitude for this family so imperfect yet complete. My dad always says that life passes in an instant, and he wakes up every day feeling like he was just a child—to be fair most men wake up like that I think—and that just makes me want to love, explore, work and eat everything in sight so much harder. A lot of my life has felt like an unnecessary uphill battle, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything except if someone offered to pay off my student loans. And I think that’s true love... ❤️

Last night I could feel the waves of a new chapter in my life... what a blessing it is to breathe and live the millions of lives that we do ❤️ Can I say how proud of myself I am? I don’t usually compliment myself but positive choices are contagious & I’ve made a lot of life decisions lately that have demonstrated to me, my growth. I choose to remind myself that I DO work hard and have gotten far despite missing fundamental support systems that most Americans supposedly grow up with. Most importantly, I love that even from so much negativity I learned new ways to be compassionate and empathetic without undermining my worth. Ladies, femmes, and pretty much anyone but white men: you can run the world, just don’t give your power away. 🔪

2016. I miss you so much dude 💛 Leo SZN just ended & I can’t stop thinking about you. We’ve spent a lot of our adult lives physically apart but it would take an eternity to break us. ;) No matter who you become or how many times you dodge jail for tax evasion or selling drugs when you’re a hotshot Director of Pharm, I’ll always love you something fierce dude.🔮✨

Sadness, like a well burrows intimately into the earth’s flesh. The skies of my city are marred with such disdain. Do you have a previous life? In a previous life, I hustled hard praying for a way to escape this very scene. Now, I’m short of breath with how quickly this place became nothing more than a memory. Although my sense of loss is immeasurable, this memory—like so many others—reminds me that I’m alive. What a beautiful thing it is to share such an intangible yet powerful bond with the people and places that make our lives meaningful.

A Z Z I P ⚡️ 🍕 ⚡️

Dad checking my oil in DC, March 2018. I love this photo so much.⚡️ When I was a kid, my dad used to work on cars in the garage. I’d hold the flashlight over the engine as he worked, handing him wrenches and screwdrivers intermittently. How many of you have parents that worked their way through an industry like a powerhouse? Dad went from pumping gas to owning his own shop, which I think is pretty fucking cool. How do y’all first gens deal with the guilt? Do you feel the sinking fear that you’ll never be able to pay them back? I do. 🙋🏽‍♀️

Do you remember the last time you were afraid? I’m talkin shit your pants kind of fear. That’s how I felt about eight months ago as I stared at my phone thinking, “No daughter should ever have to tell her father this.” I was angry as fuck at god too. I’ve been through some shit, but telling my dad I had a serious illness was definitely amongst the most difficult. All I could think about was how I wasted my life and inevitably, was letting him, my mom & my younger siblings down. I carried my dad’s immigrant story and my mom’s struggle with depression on my shoulders, asking god why they were so determined to wreak misery every time it felt the clouds were parting? But I was wrong. Even if I spent a few more nights on the bathroom floor instead of in my bed, I showed myself a new dimension to my strength. I still held down full time school/work, and this became a significant bonding experience with my dad that led him to have a newfound respect for me. Giving me closure that I would have cynically laughed in the face of just a few years ago. Today was my last scan after countless hospital visits, blood tests and a surgery.🔮✨This is what remission feels like.🔪✨I pray that I have the courage to continue to accept my mortality and cope with the fleeting nature of life...

I’m not really one for ceremony, & I don’t really value large displays of wealth. But when they asked us to move our tassels from left to right—I lost my shit! 😂 Thanks to everyone who supported me, it takes a village.✨ PS this is my 200th IG Post!

“Sorry guys, whatever it takes/ So-and-so wants to know if I'm okay/ Yeah, sure, I'm straight” The best fucking show ever. ✨💙🔪@sleighbells it’s like drowning in people...

@groovngoldie throwin mad looks 🔥...while I don’t even know where we are. I love you 💜✨

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