Just because I’m confident doesn’t mean I’m in denial.
Here’s my #transformationtuesday With two “before” photos. The photo on the right was a couple of weeks ago so I’m smaller now. My right thigh is 3” smaller than my left thigh and the left thigh is 1.5” smaller than it was. My right leg still doesn’t reach the ground and my ankle hardly moves. I’ve lost almost 1/4 of my body weight.
I admit I have one of the worst cases of an extremely rare and complex disease that most doctors haven’t ever even seen in person.
They don’t call #CRPS “The World’s Most Painful Chronic Disease” for nothing... trust me. But it’s more than just pain. I’ve been pretty much bedridden for 3 months.
I admit that I can’t walk or stand. I’m aware some people would say that I may never do either.
I’m aware that there “isn’t a cure” and even though I have 6-8 doctors appointments a week and have had 4 surgical spinal blocks we don’t really have any answers yet.
I admit my that foot swells and changes crazy colors and temperatures throughout the day. The skin has thickened, yet comes off at the touch with painful deep fissures. It’s also now covered in thick, coarse black hair.(I’ve struggled with showing those photos even though I can joke that it looks like a hobbit)
I admit my body’s systems are so haywire that among other symptoms my body struggles to regulate my temperature and I sweat through my clothes a few times a day. Sometimes while still pouring sweat, my body temp will drop to where I’m freezing and send me into convulsions.
I admit I have to take medication to keep food down.
I admit I’ve lost a lot of my once thick hair and almost all of my lashes. My nails which never hardly grew now grow thick and dark at an alarmingly fast rate.
Yes, I accept that this is today’s reality. But no, I don’t accept that this is forever... I just accept the challenge.
God is good ALL the time. I’m not any more or less deserving than the next person so there is no “why me.” This is just life, y’all. And even when it sucks it’s pretty darn special. ❤️
But I’m not a survivor... I’m a warrior. I’ll beat this. And if you don’t believe that, then I’m here to prove you wrong. 💪🏻