“My home has a new home now” -Selena ‘s a thread
He was the man i loved for many years. He held up my universe inside his pocket n picked up the stars so he could light up my night. I want to believe that he love me too. Because he said so, in whispers, in screams, in his sleep, in his songs, in his eyes.
For many years i let him invade my heart. He let me love him in my own selfish ways. We have so many misunderstandings we took few day to settle n solve. N we have past mistakes that came up whenever we argue.
He barely understood my “language” but he studied it so he could see which part of me vulnerable to hold.
If we re going to talk bout endings then it probably that things has been overused n scratched too hardly i felt numb. We broke up n we got back. We stopped yet we started again. We paused yet we decided to keep going.
Yet, all endings always had its own severe things. The one that makes you realize that it won’t come back. The one that makes you ache for silence because he won’t reach out. The endings that we all fear.
But i tried to move out n try new places, without him. Without his shadow, without his smile n grips n his voice calm me down. I tried moving out n started collecting scattered dust until I could have my universe again.
I searched for him in someone else’s eyes n voice. I looked for him in someone else’s skin n smell. But I realize he was the only one. He was one of the kind that no matter how many times he hurts me, I could still take it.
No matter how many times he forced me to leave,I still run as fast as I could in his snap of wave n flash of smile.
I realize he never hold my universe rather he became my universe. That every time I hear the words love n pain his face will appear crystallized.
Yet he found his new world. He found it in you. Now that you re with him, you got to understand he’s unpredictable n changes so often. But as long you could stay, plz do.
I might be the girl he has as his dreams form. I might be the girl who got to watch his all-time favorite movies n the first who heard the songs he wrote as he strummed his guitar. I might be the first love as he called but now you’re with him now.
N you will have him