Life with chronic illness is hard, especially if it is an invisible one. Some days, I lie in bed struck immobile with pain, some days it's a struggle to do simple things, some days I have to cancel plans last minute I was really looking forward to.
Some days I'm on top of the world, some days I get everything done, some days I almost feel normal. But at the back of my mind there is always something present, something that forces me to reevaluate my resources to see if I'll still have the energy to get home that night.
I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I'm tired of talking myself out of guilt because I feel like I'm hard to love. My goals, dreams and priorities are forced to take different turns and it's not easy trying to live a normal life while something major holds you back.
I'm sharing this because although I don't count my illness as a blessing, I'm trying to accept it. It's nothing to glorify or be proud of, but it is a part of me that still needs love. And I want to be more honest about it.
#chronicillness #invisibleillness #awareness