You are not crazy for missing someone who abused you.
When I was diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, in my head, what I had gone through wasn’t real. It didn’t happen in my mind the way that others were telling it happened.
All I knew was that I hated him, and I missed him at the same time.
I could not for the life of me understand how his manipulation & physical abuse STILL had me sitting in front of my therapist, puzzled saying, “I’m proud of myself for not calling him when I felt lonely today”… SHOULDN’T I NOT WANT TO SPEAK TO MY ABUSER?!?!?!
I’m sure you feel/have felt this way too.
I’m no therapist, but from my own experience in healing, processing the trauma with my therapist, and resources I have studied…
You missing your abuser does not make you crazy, does not make your experience with abuse any less valid, and it’s ACTUAL SCIENCE that your brain hides trauma to protect you from living through it again.
So yeah, that person screwed your brain up to think that when you are sad, angry, lonely, and tired that they are the only person that feels right to turn to.
To all of the women who understand - your experience is valid whether it was physical or emotional. You aren’t crazy.
And you CAN feel.. “more” normal again with help.
See a therapist, talk to someone you trust, research how you feel. There is hope for you to understand your experience for what it actually is rather than what you were conditioned to think it was. You can smile without feeling your heart shatter.
Resources for help: @juliarosepolktherapy @betterhelp @psych_today
#aeriereal #selflove #abusesurvivor #domesticviolence #cptsd #mentalhealthawareness #betterhelp #psychology