mikzazon mikzazon

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Mik Zazon | Food Freedom Coach  I teach women REAL strategies for food & fitness freedom @balanceathletica leader Speaker, virtual coach, founder of @theroseretreat @healthundefined

Can I share something really vulnerable with you?
In fact, only my therapist knows.
I’m really scared.
As a 23 year old, I suffer from severe PSTD from a 4 year relationship that was, as psychologists would say, called “intimate terrorism”.
To summarize:
“A form of extreme abuse utilizing several or all forms of abuse to gain power”.
Meaning, if he was in any way threatened that I was gaining confidence or independence, he would do anything to keep me. Anything. Nothing was off limits.
And here’s the catch: I loved every second of it, even if I hated every second of it.
And that, is why abuse is not just “what it seems” on the news.
No one. Talks. About. It. First. Hand.
. “Why does she defend him? Why couldn’t she just leave?”
In my case, a multitude of reasons, but 2 that stand out:
1. I wasn’t just forced to do or think things. I was brainwashed into thinking I liked to be raped, brainwashed into hating my family, brainwashed into believing that him kidnapping me to a different state was him loving me so much he wanted to spend every second with me.
2. I had nothing left. I. Had. Nothing. Not even myself.
I’m scared, not that someone will walk away from me telling my past, and all that it entails...
But that he will walk away when he sees how vulnerable I am about my past with you and the entire world.
So, I’m facing it. I am both brave, and enough. And I am brave enough, to speak my truth and spread my wings.
And because i believe in soul mates (yes ik, cheesy), but loving myself first;
Part of loving me, is also loving my social media family.
It’s okay to speak your truth. That permission was always with you.
To hear more, you can listen to my story.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩...
And it isn’t wearing a crop top in the gym or at a bar with women a few sizes smaller than you.
It’s when you get out of the shower, and physically not being able to cover yourself with a towel fast enough before looking in the mirror.
You aren’t angry.
Your heart drops.
Because you’ve been eating less, exercising more, and you’ve even got your life *kind-of* in check.
. “I am ashamed of myself”
Can I give you one quick piece of knowledge?
𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜.
In fact, that’s someone or something completely separate from you.
It may be an ex, Instagram, a parent, or some kind of traumatic experience that you have not completely dealt with.
Notice how i didn’t say *moved on from*?
That’s because we don’t need to move on, or move past. We need to understand.
It’s yucky, having to remind yourself of who it is that is talking. But guess what.. fear is an outlet to your demons.
It may feel yucky now, and you may have to seek some professional help (therapy is the best, just saying), but... By you remembering now, they won’t remind you later.

Before you read the rest of my caption, for my sanity, I would really appreciate it if no suggestions as to how I can clear my skin are made. I have a health complication that is causing my acne and I trust my doctors.
Even if my skin makes people uncomfortable, I will still love who I am.
I will continue to be radical in my self acceptance through transitions as such, to show the world what it’s really like to be real.
Because there are young girls learning that body confidence means having a flawless appearance.
This is me, with acne, and just as beautiful and worthy of love as the girl with flawless skin
#skinpositivity #bodypositive

I accept not fitting society’s standard of beauty.
Do I like it? No.
Am i okay with it? Hell no.
I teach my clients every day that they are beautiful, but they will never be everyone’s beautiful.
Because we as humans are not meant to be FOR everyone.
I wasn’t the right “fit” for gymshark, I wasn’t “the right girl” for him, and for those reasons for the longest time I thought that meant I wasn’t enough.
Honestly.. Its like a 23 year old trying to fit into baby clothes.
Or me trying to speak to my cat.
A lot of us will most definitely not fit into the athletic wear like fitness models do.
And 99% of us will go through a few people before finding the person we spend the rest of our lives with.
But let me get something very clear.
We ARE enough, despite that we are not for everyone.
We ARE beautiful, despite that we are a different size or shape than a model that’s being praised every day.
It’s not about fitting in. We were never made to.
#bodypositive #celebratemysize #youarebeautiful #healthundefined #healthcoach #beautyatanysize

I had the best birthday I could have possibly imagined with my family and friends by my side.
The happy birthdays, the kind messages that were sent my way meant the world to me.
My past birthdays haven’t always been the best.
So thank you, from the bottom of my heart for making me feel so special.
To end my birthday festivities, I got my mom and dad a surprise family portrait shoot with all 6 siblings and their families.
Mik ❤️
Outfit is tagged!
#outfitinspo #outfitinspiration #ootd

To celebrate my birthday today (WAHOO I’M 23!?!?), I am reflecting back on the 4 birthdays I spent with a man who threatened to hurt my family and myself.
It’s so important to me to spread awareness to the women (1 in 4) all around you are being hit, hurt, called names, and even worse.. Have children in the mix of it all.
I wanted to dedicate my birthday to a women’s shelter that houses women and children who have made the hardest decision of their life.. to leave.
Women have been killed, kidnapped, and hurt by their abuser by not having an escape plan.
That’s where the shelter comes into play. (LSS Choices)
This shelter is currently hosting 4-5x more than their beds can handle. Yes, that means women are sleeping on floors and sharing beds until they are in a safe position to get a job and a place of their own once they are financially stable.
Whether it’s $1, or $100.. Every. Penny. Counts.
I’ll be matching 1/2 of donations as well ❤️
This is for you my love- You are strong enough to fight for yourself and for your future. You have got this.
The link is in my story and in my bio 🌸
#itsmybirthday #domesticviolence #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticviolencesurvivor

If someone wants you, they will make it happen.
I know you know this because you’d do anything for the people you love, have feelings for, and those you care about.
They don’t have to ask you for effort constantly, you just care because it’s second nature.
“I’ve seen bad communicators, communicate well. I’ve seen bad texters respond quickly & write paragraphs. I’ve seen people who aren’t ready to be in a relationship, get ready in two conversations. If someone wants you, you won’t have to ask for effort.”
#setyourboundarieslikeamf #selflove #aeriereal #aerie #bodypositive

Hello beautiful self. I wrote this letter to you.
“I vow to speak to you with kindness.
I vow to respect you.
I vow not to hide you from the world, even though they may not want to see you.
My beauty is my cellulite, my stretch marks, my acne, my razor burn, my depression, anxiety, PTSD, and the tears I cry.
My beauty is the parts of me that the world deems as ugly, fat, unworthy of praise, and unhealthy.
Beautiful self, I know that you’ve heard me talk behind your back.
I know you’ve hurt because other’s have told you that you are a bad role model by showing the raw and honest side of finding our healthy. They don’t understand how much you’ve loved me even when I have hurt you emotionally and physically.
These critics looking at you and judging you every day don’t know your constant willingness to love and forgive.
And for that, I vow to have your back against the world.
For that, I will also teach women in the best way that I can to realize how much their body loves them, too.
I know I still wake up and look at you like I don’t know you, look at you with disgust, and wonder why it’s so hard to accept you. But I have realized that’s not me talking. Because you and I are together. Connected. Those feelings and words is the world’s thoughts infiltrating our relationship.
So lastly, I vow to accept and care for you, because you have always done the same.

You have the permission to have additional servings of thanksgiving food tomorrow.
You have the permission to have one slice of turkey, and three slices of pie, without the veggie casserole.
You have the permission to skip the workouts the day after (or a few days)
You have the permission to say no when someone offers the food that took 5 hours to make.
It’s your given human right to allow yourself permission to listen to what your body/mind/soul tells you.
#thanksgivingreminder #balanceathletica #findyourbalance #thanksgiving #bodypositive #balance #aeriereal

Hi love, if someone hasn’t told you lately.. You are beautiful. Messiness and all 🌸
(And even when you are eating chips in bed with your middle school stained sweatpants)

One thing that makes me so infuriatingly stressed = getting my nails done. Girl, I know you relate. I became a #fabfitfunpartner because they get women like us who want to scream “I HATE THIS” in the middle of getting your hair done (😂) and run out.
I’m truthfully so thankful to be able to promote brands who get real women and their real problems.
I’m also a sucker for a good deal and saving money, AS WELL AS supporting female founded brands- @fabfitfun gets ya ALL of that ❤️
Whether it’s a gift to a friend, or finally saying “THAT’S IT. I deserve to get myself something”, I strongly encourage ya for the holiday season to think about the brands you support and their values.
I hope i made holiday gifting a little bit easier on ya ❤️ tag a friend who needs this in their life!!
www.fabfitfun.com and use code MIK10 for $10 off 🌸
#fabfitfun #ad #holidayseason

109 lbs to... idk. I haven’t weigh’d myself in awhile 🤷🏼‍♀️
The fear of growth, changing bigger, is scary. Especially when the weight of the whole world’s ideals is on your shoulders. .
We’re told to minimize to be wanted and minimize our importance.
Growth is always painful.
Physical and emotional.
Growth is always becoming stronger.
Becoming strong enough through this painful self discovery, that you have this dramatic breakthrough.
. “I am enough bigger and stronger”
Bigger heart, maybe a bigger body, stronger soul.
A beautiful you.
#gainingweightiscool #bodypositive #bopo #steppingintomypower #celebratemysize

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