micoleashley micoleashley

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Micole Austin | Birth Doula  CA raised. Honest storytelling motherhood is my thing. Married my strong man. God sees me. Curious about what I love. Present, over perfect.

http://www.MicoleAshley.com/

I am the mom with a thousand kids attached to my hip, but still extremely engaged & yelling at Mehki from the sidelines lol. Kare Youth League has brought out a different boy in Mehki. It has literally taught him respect, friendship, discipline and is a true outlet to be exactly how God intended a boy to be--to run, to fight, to push, to play and release. Mehki has transformed into such an athlete & he goes year round, sport after sport. This soccer season was by far my favorite sport to watch him play because I feel he truly shined. Today was scary, and I was getting so frustrated with Mehki because he wasn't pushing as hard as he usually does BUT, he always makes up for it at the end. We had a shoot out, and Mehki made 1 & blocked the last one which won us the championship! There's nothing more amazing than seeing the relationship between him & his teammates. Watching them all run up to him and hug him after blocking that goal, made me cry. Maybe it's hormones but it's the best knowing your child feels apart of something special. Truly love Coach Lunney & his love for our boy, and the rest of the Tarheel family. Football is next! Let's go!! #mehkizae

No matter how many times I feel I fail him by snapping at him, or I yell, or I shh him away or I push back a one on one date because I just can't fit it in. He still seemingly LOVES me unconditionally. When my emotional thread is nearly breaking, and physically I just can't seem to hold it together--he somehow reminds me to sit down, hug & hold him close, and just smile for a picture together. Gosh..Mehki Zae you have no idea the woman, the mother you have molded me to be but I swear I am stronger because of you & your unwavering love for me. You hug me, and comfort me when really I should be doing that for you. You lighten my load. You acknowledge me when I feel unappreciated. You tell me I am beautiful even when you really want to be honest & tell me I am fat lol. You encourage me to run, and that you will run with me if it makes me feel better. You tell me you forgive me, even when I hurt your feelings. You remind me to breathe when I'm in over my head. Most of all, you just know exactly how to love your momma at such a young age & I am convinced God sent you to me at a young age because I needed you just as much as you needed me. I love you my sweet boy. #mehkizae #mafamilyhood

When I am doubting my worth, my purpose, my life...the future--all of life's crap; these two not only remind me to breathe but they uplift and elevate my awareness. Then bring me back down to the ground in all of Gods promises. 1 drop of each on my heart and chest. #yleo #oilyfriends #healer

Still shocks me how much power I can give to that voice in my head that tells me I'm nothing. That I am not doing enough. That I am not worthy enough. That I don't have what it takes. That I am not strong enough. That I don't fight hard enough. Every now and then, I catch myself hunching lower & lower because my confidence wears thinner & thinner. Or I double take in the mirror, & can't believe the reflection I see. Or I second guess my curiosities, my passions, my everyday to do's. Or I question if I'm absolutely nuts for having a fourth child because some days I'm barely hanging on with 3. Guilt & Shame, and that voice is a bitch. None of it is real. Let it go. Whether anyone else thinks I'm doing enough, I KNOW I am doing more than enough. Pouring into children--the future of this world, every single day, my goodness it's enough. Sharing my heart for the things that empower, inspire and heal me, that's enough. Cooking, cleaning, laughing, caring, texting back, answering my phone, loving others--that's enough. I am ENOUGH. There is no way in hell I will allow the devil to tell me otherwise. So when I begun to second guess being pregnant again this morning... I looked myself in the face and I touched my growing belly & I said NO not here. Fear can't live here anymore. Guilt can't stay here anymore. I rid myself of shame. I am enough. God trusts me. Here I am. Use me. Here's to saying F you to the shoulda, coulda, woulda's and just simply knowing YOU ARE ENOUGH. #mafamilyhood #bringingbackthevillage #honestmotherhood

We don't have a juicer, but we have a Vitamix which in my opinion is better because we get all the fiber in our juices πŸ™ŒπŸ½ // Just threw in carrots, pineapple, half a lemon and ice. (Next time I will add ginger but we didn't have it) // This is life in our house --always something going on, and us squeezing in our tiny kitchen together as a family. It gets chaotic but it's so fun doing life and loving good food with my people. #mafamilyhood #mehkizae #mileauxzaida

Just hanging with her boy cousins & Xander. #KeanuStone is just a big ol kid now. Can't take it! #malaezyrai #kenjisy

The umbilical cord wasn't handled with care, but nevertheless still is a beautiful placenta & is now dehydrating for a mama to receive in capsules within 24 hours. #healer #placentaencapsulation #postpartumrecovery #postpartum #placenta #birthdoula #doula

Suffer from crazy mosquito bites during summer!? Or even worse, maybe you're like me--and get cellulitis from the bite. Everything gets heated, the bite swells & is followed with a fever. Welp here's a life saver from all that itching & hopefully will prevent from any infection occurring. I have gotten bit 5 times so far this summer & each time I have been able to nip it before it got bad. As soon as I notice the bite, I rub 1 drop 'Purification' and 1 drop 'Cypress' --I swear it's like magic. The itching goes away and the swelling never starts. You're welcome. #yleo #oilyfriends #lifehacks

Just laying in half unfolded & folded laundry with an empty stomach contemplating what's for dinner with Matt. So here's what I am thinking, I should be so overwhelmed with life, but weirdly I feel so at peace. Here's the truth; we aren't rich not even close, our cars are not ideal for a family of 6, we don't own our home--& really could care less about making that happen anytime soon, I guess to successful people I don't actually have a "real job" (I say F that), we haven't gone on that solo vacation & most likely won't for quite some time, I am only 24 (almost 25) & have basically tripled my children in a matter of 2 years, there's days where I'm like woah--our account is negative lol what are we gonna eat?? Then I think ahead and I'm like, shit..college? Back to school clothes. Sports fees. Literally raising humans--& not wanting to mess them up. Then I think, my marriage--I want to hold on tight & not drift further away from my husband. Seems like every child that comes, we are spread thin. As I type this, I'm like oh hell no. Society sucks for making me think of all of this in 2 min. Reality is, joy & contentment is REAL in our life. If I were to focus on these things--it's solely because I am choosing to be driven by fear. Fuck fear because it'll have you questioning some of the best things that could happen to you in your life. So what that we don't have all of our ducks lined in a row. So what that we don't have a huge savings account. So what that other people wouldn't do it this way....this reality of mine, is mine. No one else's. I can choose to believe in Gods promises, or I can choose to believe in the devils lies. I've made it through the lowest of lows in my life, & to be honest I'm on a real big high. My aunt said to me today, "look at you..your life just completely turned around & turned into something you really never expected. Keep taking it one day at a time. I'm happy for you." Ya know, that really lifted me up. We can talk shit to people & burden them with our worries or "I wouldn'ts" or we can simply lift them up & wish them well. So here's to embracing all of your well wishes, they mean the world to me. Love you guys!! #honestmotherhood

The four youngest girls of the Fernandez grandkids. Demii & Shia were looking cute, until my two tired girls got thrown into the picture. Lol. Grandma Caroline just being the best with her girlies! #demiijeaux #shiareese #malaezyrai #mileauxzaida

How we have all been feeling about baby number four. Party party party. Love dancing with my girl! #mafamilyhood #malaezyrai

Sure it's W I L D, but it's TRUE. Baby Austin #FOUR will be here February 2018. Three under 3 y'all!! Insane BUT we are sooo damn excited. Let's do this!! πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ’₯πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ€°πŸ»#mehkizae #malaezyrai #mileauxzaida #mafamilyhood

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