Day 5 of #DailyDefinitionsMay
It was at this piano that I discovered the true depths of worship.
When I was a teen I remember having a terrible day at school and I was just so devastated about my life. I was blinded by the idea of having more hurt in my heart than love. I thought that being gay meant never finding love and always searching for acceptance from people that would never understand.
I had an amazingly supportive family, but at the time I couldn't see that they were enough. My thoughts were beginning to get darker and more unbearable.
My mom worked at our church so I had access to the sanctuary any time I wanted. I would turn up the lights just enough to see the piano and pour out my heart. My prayers became songs with no chorus or real focus. I just spoke to God. At first they all started out angry. Why me? Where's my chance for love? Is this really what you wanted from me?
I remember the first response I ever heard from Spirit. It was very familiar to me - and all of us. "Take off your shoes... this is Holy ground."
From then forward I played that piano barefoot because the first time you hear Spirit, it's terrifying and you don't want to mess up.
And every time I would feel this buzzing energy of love. And every time I got a little closer to God. And every time I realized that if God will sit in this room here with me and console my angsty teen heart, then He must love me for who I am.
Worship is something we are designed to do. If I'm honest, that sounds very controlling and servant/master like. But it's really about putting yourself in space with Spirit and allowing yourself to heal.
👣Find your holy ground. Church. The woods. The beach. Starbucks. The Library. Wherever your house of worship is, enjoy it. And try it Barefoot... it's exhilarating. 👣