So I’ve been talking a lot about mental health lately... it’s something I feel strongly about because it’s something that I also struggle with. So I guess I’m kind of using this platform as a journal for me and an awareness piece for you; in hopes that you too will speak up and will continue to reach out to me or anyone else and get help 🙏🏽 you’re not alone
With that said; I’m going to put myself out there again (against my better judgment) and I want to talk about #loneliness
Today, has been a hard one for me. They come and go; no rhythm, no rhyme, no reason... but I came across this tonight and it explains something that I’ve been feeling that I’ve never really been able to put into words...
When you tell someone you’re “lonely” what do they think?
In my experience, they automatically assume that you are codependent or needy, or that your happiness relies on other people. That’s not always true and it’s NOT what I mean; I feel it all the time, I always have, and I fucking HATE talking about it... ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Because it’s always the same thing:
“You need to work on yourself”
“You need to find your own happiness”
“You need to learn to be alone...”
Pardon my language... but fuck you! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Live inside my head for a week and then tell me that shit... I don’t need any of those things and I’m perfectly fine “alone”, I’m alone 90% of the time. But that’s NOT why I’m lonely. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
This. This is what I long for... to feel normal, to belong, to feel loved and to be truly understood. It’s the simplest yet most difficult thing for me to find. I can be around 100 people laughing and smiling and still feel alone because only 1% of the population can understand the language of the voice inside my head. My voice. ———————————————
Unfortunately, 1% is hard to find. So to the handful of you that are close to me; know how much I love & appreciate you and... good luck getting rid of me lol 🤷🏻♂️